Housework...where the f do I start?

[Heartbroken2019]

The last few weeks have been pretty awful for me (relationship break up, discovering he'd cheated on me, being semi-stalked by the OW, all of which coincided with an absolute shitstorm at work which I have been working hard to resolve. It's all calmed down now but its been crap). Anyway as a result I haven't cooked or cleaned or anything in about 2 weeks, and even before then I've not done a proper job in a good couple of months. Every room in my house is a tip. Honestly it has never been this messy. My poor DC

I am going away for work tomorrow so really need to get it done today. Instead I am MNing and watching 4 in a bed.

Can someone please tell me where to start because it is all such a state it feels overwhelming, and also give me a kick up the arse to do it? Ta!

How old is dc and is it just the one? Can they help??

Go put one wash in the machine

Empty the inside bins in to the outside bins

Stack the dishwasher

Clean your kitchen sink

Then sit down again. Be kind to yourself and if you were my friend I would want to come and help so ask for help if your can

They are teenagers, but it's not fair to ask them to help, it's my job to get it done. Plus one is ill in bed and the other one is petsitting at a friend's house.

Make a brew and put some music on

They live in the house op they should be helping with chores

I'm sorry

I would start with the kitchen and the bathroom.
Then make all the beds.
Do a load of laundry.
Then anything else would be a bonus.

Ok I will go and do a wash. I do have an awesome washer which does a load in 30 mins.

I have burdened my friends with so much shit since all this started I couldn't ask them for help. I'm embarrassed my house is so bad.

Of course they can help! One can empty the bins, one can stack the diswasher - thats not a big ask, especially since youve been having such a tough time.

Don't think about getting everything done. Just concentrate on one job at a time, one room at a time. Put a wash on, pick up all the stuff that doesn't belong in the living room. It will seem less overwhelming.

Gather up all the washing, put it in a pile in front of the machine, sort - put one load on

Start with the bath room - I cant be doing with a minging bath room!!

Bedrooms - always reasonably easy to sort now all the clothes are off the floor and in front of the machine - give each child a bag for rubbish and bring any plates/can s downstairs for washing/recycling

Ditto - so a sweep of the front room for plate, food , wrappers

Dishwasher load on

Check fridge contents - sling out the rubbish and out of date stuff.

How you doing so far ?

Work tops should be showing signs of reappearing by now ….. any washing up into the sink - any rubbish into the bins - empty the bins …. systematically put away any packets etc. wash down surfaces and cupboards.

Empty bins

Back to the front room, pull all furniture nto middle of the room, hoover, push all furniture back, hoover middle, fluff up cushions, shake out throws - sorry life is too short for dusting

Another load of washing ?
Another dishwasher load?
I'd do a run to the local launderette with tumble drying as there is one locally

All sorted? call me Kim or Aggie

I would start in the kitchen and then the living room. Put some music on and get your head down. Every little thing you do will make a dent.

After you put a wash on, get a black bin bag and walk all through the house picking up grbuineky binnacle rubbish. Empty all bins.

Put the bag in the outside bin, then
start in the kitchen.

Then the lounge.

Go clockwise around each room, so you know where to go back to if distracted.

Set timers for a cup of tea/rest etc, and listen to music or a really good podcast or audio book.

Take before and after photos Forbes motivation.

Leave the bedrooms!

They can join in, I get my little ones to help and they are 5 and 7! I’m sure they’ve made some of the mess.

I don’t blame you for not wanting anyone to help I’m the same when my house is messy (with 4 little ones it always looks like a bomb site 😑) I give them a bag each and tell them to pick up any rubbish whilst I hoover.

1. Get a bin bag and go through every room collecting any rubbish.

1. Go through every room collecting any crockery, mugs, glasses etc and take to kitchen.

1. Do all washing up and put away.

1. Go through every room and pick up dirty laundry. Get it all in one pile.

Then have a cup of tea and a sit down

Of course it's fair to ask them to help. They live there, they'll have contributed to the mess, they can help sort it.

Put your favourite music on. Set a timer for ten minutes. Blitz the kitchen. Stack dishwasher and put it on while you empty bin, clear worktops and clean down the surfaces. When timer goes, take a five minute break. After the break, do similar in living room. Keep going for an hour, you'll have done four rooms with four rest breaks. It won't be perfect but you'll be surprised how much better it is! And be kind to yourself, this is only a blip, you'll have it sorted in no time

Many typos!

I always feel mentally better when my kitchen is clean. Personally I’d start there. But I like IAsk’s plan. I second those saying get a wash and a dishwasher load on.

Don’t panic if you don’t get it all done. Your teens will survive.

I can empathise OP, I’ve had a horrid break up also and feel like I’ve lost my spark for everything.. cleaning seems so overwhelming, even getting up and dressed seems like an effort. But I do try do it because I feel better after.. plus I finding getting dressed in a messy house really stressful! So I start by putting on music that cheers me up, and do one room at a time.. when it’s done have a shower and wash your hair, you’ll feel so much better x

If you’re feeling out of control and overwhelmed, maybe the dc are too..? Pulling together and getting your place back in order for you all might be quite important for them too.

Great advice so far. My one major tip is - don’t walk around empty handed. Every time you’re going somewhere there’s probably something you can take to it’s right home!

Also do it in 1/2 hour bursts. It’s amazing how much you can get done in 30 minutes. Set a timer and run around like a woman possessed for 1/2 an hour. Then stick the kettle on and chill for an hour.
Rinse and repeat several times.

I make a list and write how long I am going to spend on each. Eg, Kitchen 20 mins, tidy living room 10 mins, sweep and mop 15 mins etc.
Then work down the list.

I've been there. There a few ways to tackle it. Here's mine, it may help.

1. open all the windows, light a candle for each room to freshen.
2. put a washing on and recycle/dump rubbish in bin.
3. Either choose a room and do 30 minutes of tidying with music on or just do 10 minutes in each room.
4. To spur you on take a pic of each room before and after the time limit. It breaks it up a bit and you can see the difference clearly.

I would perhaps leave the teens rooms because they are old enough to sort it later in the week. Kitchen and your bedroom are a priority. You will sleep better in a non cluttered room.

I often feel like that.

I have a bit of a routine now and do a room a day. I fill a bowl with hot water and spray and then take a cloth and then do all the surfaces, and as I move around the room, I move the things that shouldn't be there. I start at one end and move clockwise round the room.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and you are having a tough time x

Focus on actually dirty stuff.
General mess can wait.

Start with dirty stuff that takes time: clothes in w machine; pots that need soaking etc. While that is in progress, aim for some quick wins that will be competed in the time before the clothes are clean and pots soaked.