To be hoping for a proposal?

[QueenoftheBayou]

Today is exactly 4 years since I met my partner. He's a slow mover but I know he wants marriage and kids one day, no rush though. He said he's planned a day out for us but won't give me ANY details, a nightmare for a control freak like me who loves to organise everything! (Seriously WTF do you wear for a day out WITH NO DETAILS?!) Anyway I can't help but hope for a proposal, I'm telling myself not to expect it but I think I'll be secretly a little disappointed if it doesn't happen. Help me lower my expectations so I can enjoy my day!

The people on this thread calling you undignified etc are being ridiculous. Of course it's fine to want your boyfriend to propose to you!! Do talk to him if you've had enough of waiting though.

Sorry to read your update OP.

Take no notice of the comment that waiting for a proposal is undignified . Many on MN seem to think that there should be no romance involved in life whatsoever - ever. “Just sit him down....” etc. Anyway, you are not wrong for having your own expectations about your own life and relationship.

How are you today? Do you think he senses anything?

It's fine to have wants, although the OPs first couple of posts made it sound like the big proposal was his wish more than hers. Meanwhile they're still not engaged, four years in, so it's not exactly a tactic that's working well so far is it? It's thus worth considering whether another way might be better.

Honestly OP I think a good, grown up discussion is in order. This is your future, be active not passive. It's too important not to, and you don't want to be getting your hopes up and having them dashed every time you do something nice or pass a meaningful date.

Some of the posts on the thread have been a bit harsh. I can see how they might have been hard to read. But it's because we see so many posts on here from women who want marriage and get stuck at waiting for the big proposal, either because they think it's important or because their partner insists on it. And waste years waiting, feeling unfulfilled and sad, because of some weird idea of tradition.