To not know how to manage birth parents

[Adoptedandok]

I’m in my early 40s and adopted, I linked up with birth parents around 5 years ago. I have a genuine good relationship wit them - but think aunt and uncle type relationship.

We live in different countries, and they come over maybe once a year to see me and speak OJ the phone around once a month.

I don’t want to say too much in case of being outing, but it’s becoming to me like a normal family relationship but I can feel guilty. r.g with my own parents I may miss a call and forget which is no hassle bit with bp’s I feel guilty.

Anyone else navigated this type of situation ?

So you feel guilty if you miss an arranged call with your birth parents but not your adoptive ones? Why do you think that is?

I guess because it feels like more of a formal relationship. It’s jot relaxed like it is with my actual parents.

I have met other adoptees but never anyone who’s actually sustained a relationship with birth parents over the long term

I can’t comment on the adoptive parent side - but it sounds a little to me like, your parents are your safe space. Your BP aren’t. A bit like why children will play up with mum but are good as gold when staying with dad at the weekend?

Please ignore if totally off course which is entirely possible.

@eliza - that is true. It’s more along the lines though of how you relax in family company and re on best behaviour around others. Which is fine I guess