To avoid friend beca of measles fear

[Chocolatehat]

I have a 4 year old dd and an 8 week old . I am friends with a local mum and our 4 year olds have spent a lot of the last 4 years together. She also has a 2 year old and a 4 month old.
She is a lovely person and I enjoy her company. I would like to spend the next year hanging out together with our babies. She homeschools so would have all of her kids with her.
Her kids are not vaccinated. There have been measles outbreaks near the area we live in. I cannot vaccinate my newborn until he is one years old.
I cannot convince her to vaccinate. I am terrified that her kids will expose my baby to measles if we hang out a lot.
AIBU to avoid her for 10 months until my baby can get the vaccine?

I wouldn’t hang out with someone who had un vaccinated kids.
Not worth the risk and also I couldn’t be arsed dealing with the probable lecture on conspiracies

Christ no YANBU, it would BVVU to risk your child contracting measles which can have serious life changing consequences.

Not only should you keep your child well away from her, you really need to tell her why. She may be a lovely person but this is selfish in the extreme, stupid too but not only is she inflicting that stupidity on her own children, she is damaging the health of others. Even if her children don't directly spread measles to anyone, she is contributing to the depletion of herd immunity which has a serious impact, even on people who are immunized.

If you both have babies how can't be vaccinated any way I don't see that the unvaccinated 4yo presents much more of a risk.

Because 4 year olds have far more exposure to the disease than babies who aren't in nursery etc.

But op said she homeschools.

They will still go out, play in playgrounds, have far more contact with other children (and OP says this is an area with outbreaks) than newborn babies, obviously. Newborn babies are at risk (and also have far less natural immunity), they don't present the same risk as older children.

This is not my opinion, this is medical and scientific fact.

I would point out that if there’s an outbreak in your area, taking your baby out anywhere there are lots of children is potentially exposing them, particularly as the virus stays alive for up to two hours in the air let alone on items touched by someone infected. Of course socialising with the family increases the opportunity slightly but you should be aware that anywhere you’ll possibly have exposure if it’s in your area.

Do tell the lady why you’re dropping contact.