To worry myself sick since I bought my first house

[WhoReallyCares]

I rented for years and whilst I hated it the best part was if anything ever went wrong I'd just phone the landlord, fuck it I don't have to worry about it etc. Now I've bought a house after saving for years and whilst I'm really chuffed about it I'm making myself ill with the "what ifs". Everytime I spot a problem I'll start thinking the worst and googling horror stories. I've found a couple of things to concern myself with, all of which thankfully were not a big problem. I found something else tonight that I'll probably spend all weekend thinking about (a line of what looks like subtle damp on the lounge ceiling directly above the edge of the bathroom). I only noticed it tonight because I used a light I've not used before and it shone directly onto it. It doesn't show up that well in photos.

I did have a survey done, I do have insurance and a bit of money saved up, not a fortune but a few grand. I admit I suffer with massive anxiety and "too scared to be happy" syndrome.

I just can't help thinking every time I find something new to stress over I'm like "this is it, this is where the nightmare begins. This is the £30k repair job that's been waiting to get me."

Does anyone else worry about their house this much?!

Really?

I stopped worrying!

Directly BELOW the bathroom

OP I’ve survived two under concrete pipe leaks- moved out twice and has two insurance claims totalling 15-20k each. God love insurance!!!
Everything is solvable- thankfully check a trade website, referrals are your best resources for workmen!

Now this damp line- directly under the bath itself? If so you can remove the bath panel, feel the pipes and tighten whichever may be a little loose.

I worried loads when I bought my first place 19 years ago. By the time I'd owned it about 2 years I was a bit calmer - I think this might be normal! It's a scary responsibility (as well as being great). None of the things I worried about turned out too badly, BTW.

It's directly under the wall of the bathroom the 'girder' my Mum says. Bathroom has no window so it's not very well aired at the best of times. Oh who knows 😢

I’m vaguely concerned that our boiler is 25 years old so is bound to die shortly but otherwise no, I don’t worry too much.
I worried far more when renting, after having to find somewhere else to live in a hurry three times when the landlords decided to sell/move back in themselves etc. Couldn’t face that again.

I'm sorry but I think you need to get some help for your anxiety before this becomes a real problem

It might be helpful to watch some home repair shows/videos about various problems. Just having more basic (if-then, red flags, etc.) information might give you some peace.
Congratulations on buying your first house!

Does your bath have an overhead shower? Mine does and the tiles on our bathroom wall were coming off so everytime we showered water would "leak" through the cruddy tiles and water would run down to our utility room directly below.

Only way we solved that problem was by ripping the while bathroom out (it was in need of updating massively) and redoing it all from scratch. Sorry to sound drastic.

As pp said maybe the water line is a leaky pipe so check these. Or if not, try regrouting your tiles if you use an overhead shower. That's the inexpensive option

I don't think you'd just get a line on the ceiling if it was from condensation in the bathroom. It could be a small leak or just a crack in the plaster board... i don't know. Why don't you call out a plumber on monday and ask him to check it out.

Just remember you rarely see houses just falling down and most house problems can be fixed. It's scary to start with but it's fine, it's bricks, mortar, pipes and wires etc. Nothing that can't be fixed.

Look, it is what it is,
Youve bought it now.
You can't go back.
If it's f'kd it's f'kd
No point worrying about it

Honestly if it's 30k work - your insurance will cover it. Is it stressful? Yes. Is it a PITA? Yes. Is it an expense? Yes
Is it the end of the world? No.

Maybe get some therapy, it sounds like your anxiety is a bit out of control.
Learn some DIY skills maybe you won't feel so helpless
And congratulations on buying your first home - sounds like you need to celebrate it a bit and see the positives.

I felt exactly the same when we became first time home owners two years ago. I don't worry so much now. You will make yourself ill...you have insurance as do I and as long as you budget for things like boiler servicing and other routine things that need doing you will be grand

I'll keep a close eye on it, if it gets any worse I'll call a plumber. Yes I know I need help with anxiety it is a problem that's only getting worse x

I used to worry about my house falling down around my ears to the extent that I would dream about it, and then get up in the middle of the night to place a spirit level on the walls to make sure they weren't tilting.

The sudden realisation of how much money I'd just spent and quite how long I'd be in massive debt for sent me into a horrible panic for about three months. Wine, time, understanding what actually needed to be fixed and friends telling me to cop on helped.

Oh I've been all over the house with the trusty spirit level! 😂

OPstuff happens, nothing lasts for ever, including tenancies.

At least your own home is under your own control and yes, something might go wrong, but such is life. Everything is fixable and problems aren't necessarily catastrophes.

Make it your motto to just face things as they come and try really hard not to worry over things that haven't happened.

Enjoy your own home.

Could be a leaking pipe, is there a bath panel? If so take it off and see if its damp under there, feel around the joints of the pipes, see if anything feels wet, are there any loose tiles in the bathroom where water could get in, tap them and see if any sound hollow. Look for cracked grout. I was like you when I bought my house but now I do loads of DIY, YouTube baby! Iv retiled the bathroom by watching YouTube videos, easier than it looks apart from cutting the tiles, that was a learning curve! I fixed a hole in the ceiling, I defy anyone to find where the hole was. Repointed the drains, put in a new doorstep using bricks and mortar. Put up new fence panels. Sealed all the cracks in the mortar around the windows, even upstairs, using a ladder. Iv just dug and installed a pond in the garden. Decorating is a doddle now. Have a go yourself, start with small jobs to build your confidence. If you need a big job doing ask other people for recommendations, FB is good for this. Iv had my house 20 yrs and never needed an expensive job done, just keep your eye on things and sort it before it becomes a problem. I'm female btw

Op honestly that isn't. Abig job. If it was a bad job you'd know! Get the panel. Off, check the sealant round Bath and check tiles.
I freak about money too but only since the ds arrived and now I panic about him having enough (madness)., I think it's linked to my pnd.
Relax have wine and be proud of fact you've achieved owning your own digs!

I could have written this so, if it helps, take comfort in the fact it isn’t just you! When we bought ours I became convinced I was going to lose my job and we’d be screwed. I manage all of our finances, DH earns a lot less than me and we’d never manage.

What you said about ‘too scared to be happy’ really resonated too. Every time something good happens I’m waiting for something bad to come to counter it. After we got engaged, then married, I was convinced something terrible was going to happen to DH, same after the birth of my DC. I guess I felt I didn’t deserve to be happy or something... I don’t have a solution—just solidarity!

See if you can do a basic plumbing course - a one day course should be adequate. It would probably give you enough skills and knowledge to feel more confident - if nothing else you'd know when it's an actual emergency and when it's not!

Check the sealant between the bath and the tiles!

We had just had our bathroom done, suite installed by a plumber but we did the tiling and finishing and we didn't quite seal around the bath properly and got a similar sounding mark.

Might be a super easy fix

We bought our first house last year.

Last week it was raining INSIDE one of our bedrooms .

We got someone out to fix it & didn’t need the whole new roof I’d envisaged.

I think the fears just part of property ownership op

I'm the same. Constantly worried about all sorts - if it rains what if we flood (unlikely), is there a problem with the roof/guttering/pipes etc. It's mostly water related disasters.

I take propranolol now, cut down on alcohol and caffiene and try to spend time on mindfulness/meditation regularly.