WIBU to stop getting my cousin a gift after she turns 18?

[RandomeUsername]

Cousin is about 15 years younger than me. She is 17. Its been the expectation from family members that I buy a gift for her birthday and Christmas. Obviously get nothing from her as she is a teenager but also get nothing from her mother (my aunt). Aunt doesn't even send me a birthday card or birthday text message. Don't get a thank you message/ acknowledgement for the gift I send most of the time either. WIBU to stop getting my cousin a gift after she turns 18?

18 is a natural age to stop gifts. I would still send a card personally. You can pick one up for under £1 so I think that's perfectly acceptable for families.

All of us kids stopped having presents from GPs and Uncles/Aunts at 18. After that; cards yes, but presents no.

That's always been the norm in my family. Yanbu

I don't get a birthday text message from my aunt, never mind a card. But I would get ear ache from family members if I didn't send her daughter/ my cousin a gift.

Also is it okay to just spend the standard 10-15 pounds for her 18th birthday?

So what if you get earache of them though?

Stop!

I was coerced into being godparent to my cousin's daughter. Religiously year on year every birthday and Christmas sent a present (often having to post them).

Never had a thank you. Not ONE.

18th birthday for the daughter and spent £60 on a silver necklace and wrote a warm caring letter and in this letter I did say I wouldn't be sending any more presents. But I wished her well in the future in all she did blah blah.
Didn't get a thank you for that either!

Don't get a big present for your cousin's 18th. Wished I hadn't! If you've had no acknowledgement up till now, you're not going to, so it's not worth it

Perhaps spend more on her for her 18th (as many regard 18 as a special birthday) but tell your aunt that in future, now she is an adult, it will be cards only.

Of course yanbu to stop. Unless she starts buying for you of course....

I think she's lucky you've bothered for this long but after her 18th she'll be an adult so definitely no reason to continue buying.

I wouldn't bother spending much either - get her a bottle of Prosecco (the standard Freixnet one comes in a pretty bottle) as she'll be of legal drinking age.

My little brat sister wanted me to take her and her boyfriend to the Harry Potter studios tour.
Her birthday was 2 weeks after I gave birth and, even though she's working, she hasn't bought anything for me ever or for the baby (not that I expected anything but you know), so was I heck going to spend £150 + petrol and food on her and drive all that way with a new born!
I bought her a pandora charm and didn't get any gratitude. She just started telling me about the present her boyfriend has bought instead so that's the end on present giving for me!

Some people are so entitled.

I think I’d just assume that your family doesn’t do gifts for adults as your aunt hasn’t sent any to you.

So send a standard gift and maybe mention in the card that it’s the last one.

Any grief from anybody - just react puzzled and say you thought the family weren’t doing grown up gifts as you haven’t been getting any!

Roussette its very cheeky getting no thank you or acknowledgement. Especially after you spent so much. I will just get a cheap present that's no more than 10 - 15 pounds for her 18th. Then I'll stop sending gifts.

AmIThough that's very selfish and entitled of your sister. Sometimes I can't believe the cheek of some people

I would buy the 18th gift, and no more. If the rest of the family kick off, let them. At this point, if they do start being difficult, point out that the family precedent is, clearly, not to buy gifts for adults as your aunt has never bought one for you.

I'd just send a card and see if they acknowledge the lack of gift...

When is the birthday? Start saving any extra shiny £1 coins you get, stick 18 of them in a card and job done. After that no more apart from a card if you are feeling generous. I send small presents to young family members but those stop at 18. I would give a small something for special birthdays for older relatives any with a 0 in.You have reminded me I haven’t had a thank you from 5 year old relative and great grandmother from last month.

I absolutely agree that it's time to stop.
Loving the 18 shiny pound coins idea.
Thank goodness all of my nieces and nephews have passed the 18 mark. And then their DC's come along.
Just when you thought it was all over 😂

I think whether or not you buy someone gifts has nothing to do with how old they are, and everything to do with how you feel about them. Since you don't seem close to your cousin I'm honestly puzzled that you kept sending gifts all these years, especially if you didn't even get a thank you...

I'd not bother buying anymore gifts, including for the next birthday, since previous gifts were obviously not appreciated. Don't make a fuss or a big announcement or whatever, just don't buy a gift.

If someone says something you can either say the truth "well, she didn't seem to appreciate my gifts in the past years, plus she's an adult now". Or if you don't want to deal with the ensuing argument just say "oh, it was her birthday? Must have slipped my mind". And change the subject.

What Yothegin said.