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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DD out at 10.00pm?

27 replies

HennyPennyHorror · 16/08/2019 14:19

We're in Oz and it's night. Two of her mates called round at 10.00pm...boys. They were on their way to another friend's house nearby. I said no. WIBU? She's 15. They all are.

OP posts:
CarolDanvers · 16/08/2019 14:21

I certainly wouldn't.

mbosnz · 16/08/2019 14:21

Um, that sounds reasonably sensible to me. . . not a snowball's chance in hell that my 15 year old would be going out with two boys at 10pm.

Tensixtysix · 16/08/2019 14:22

Of course not! Sounds dodgy!

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 16/08/2019 14:22

See, DH was all "Why did you say no?"

Hmm

He sees the lads as harmless which I'm sure they are...they're all nice lads. But I dunno. She's part of a big friendship group...mixed...and my instinct was no.

OP posts:
HeadintheiClouds · 16/08/2019 14:22

No.

cheesydoesit · 16/08/2019 14:25

I had lots of platonic male friends at that age but I voted YANBU because it's late for a 15 year old. What time would it have been when they reached their other friends house? What time would she be home after that? I would perhaps allow it in a year or so. Has school started back yet?

abigailsnan · 16/08/2019 14:31

If it had been 8pm I would have agreed and made sure she was back by the latest 10pm but going out at 10pm is a totally different thing why could they not have arranged to go out earlier in the evening.

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 16/08/2019 14:44

Abigailsnan that's EXACTLY what I said! I said if it was 8 then fine...back here at 10. or 10.30 but the fact is these lads had cycled down here on a whim...so I just felt it set a bad precedent or something.

Cheesy it's winter here in Australia.

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 16/08/2019 14:48

She's 15yo and it's a weekend night, why not? I used to come home at 2am at that age as long as it wasn't a school night.

Why does it matter that they are boys? Would you let her go out with two girls?

Ringdonna · 16/08/2019 14:57

I would ket son go but a Dd no chance.

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 16/08/2019 14:59

boo no I would not. I suppose my concern was that this is new behavior for the kids. They usually get together in the day....they spend the day together then hang out till about 10. The boys have cycled about 7 miles to get here....unusual. Makes me wonder if the lad they're visiting nearby has an unexpectedly empty house or something.

OP posts:
Fizzpopwhizzbang · 16/08/2019 15:00

I don't think it matters that the friends are boys. I'd just say no because she's 15 and it's late

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 16/08/2019 15:03

Fizz well me too really. One of the boys has a girlfriend but I don't know the one he arrived with at all really. I know he has a lot of freedom...if two girls had called, the answer would still have been no.

OP posts:
pensionpot · 16/08/2019 15:04

Its 10pm, no chance!

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 16/08/2019 15:05

For what it's worth, DD wasn't bothered that I said no. She seemed amused they'd come so late...and said they're all meeting up tomorrow anyway.

OP posts:
choli · 16/08/2019 15:06

I would ket son go but a Dd no chance.
And you see nothing wrong with that?

HaileySherman · 16/08/2019 15:17

@Ringdonna.....what's the reasoning there? Seems unfair to your daughter, unless she's done something that makes her less trustworthy than your son, but I feel like that's not the case here.

choli · 16/08/2019 15:18

@Ringdonna.....what's the reasoning there? Seems unfair to your daughter, unless she's done something that makes her less trustworthy than your son, but I feel like that's not the case here.
Lock up your daughters!

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 16/08/2019 15:20

Yes....weird to let a son and not a daughter... Boys of this age are also vulnerable.

OP posts:
adaline · 16/08/2019 15:22

I would ket son go but a Dd no chance.

Uh, do you not see how sexist that is?

verticality · 16/08/2019 15:25

I would not have let her out just like that, without warning. However, I do think a 15 year old who is generally mature and doing OK at school should be allowed out to have a later night with friends occasionally, provided it's been properly planned (i.e. you know in advance), and you know where she is, and she agrees to have her location trackable on her phone.

I lost out terribly at her age because my mother was a super strict dragon and demanded that I was home by 9.30 without fail. My friends were all staying out all night together as a celebration about once a term. Nothing bad ever happened - they just hung out at one another's houses, and drank a few pints, in really quite a mature way - no being sick or going mad. As a result, they all bonded really closely and I was left out.

AngelicInnocent · 16/08/2019 15:30

Had this with ds at 15 when 2 girls called for him at 10pm one night . Said no.

Turned out they just wanted him to remove a very large spider from the bathroom as they were home alone lol.

bellinisurge · 16/08/2019 16:59

No. I'm sure they are lovely young lads but the world also includes twatty blokes who are getting drunk at that time of night and think they can overpower young women.

Lowlandlucky · 16/08/2019 17:47

No good comes of children being out late at night

Original poster
HennyPennyHorror · 17/08/2019 06:45

Vertical yes agree...and would have no issues at all with her coming in at about 10.30 or 11 if the night had been properly arranged.

OP posts: