WIBU to say no?

[Elbels]

Long time listener first time caller!

Last night I ended up in A&E on my own (partner and parents away and didn't want to drag friends to sit in a boring waiting room).

While waiting to see the doctor a woman approached me to ask to borrow my phone. I was sending some work emails on it so said it's not really the right time and she said oh please I really need to. She then repeatedly read out the number until I dialled it. That person didn't answer so she made me call three other people (all of which didn't answer).

I wasn't in the best of moods, the incident that brought me into hospital was a freak accident and quite unsettling. She stayed talking to me and asked where I lived so I gave her the vague area. She then said oh great I live there too, you can give me a lift home!

I should perhaps say that she seemed like a frequent hospital flyer - all staff knew her and was potential a little vulnerable.

I said I hadn't been seen yet so I don't know when I'm going back. She said that's ok I'll wait... I felt really uncomfortable and said please don't wait for me.

2.5 hours later she had disappeared and I finished treatment and went outside to meet an uber. She was waiting out the front again and asked if she could come with me. I said I'm really sorry, we live in different areas and at that stage (5am) I really wanted to go straight home.

At the time I genuinely didn't feel emotionally great and was probably a little abrupt. This morning I'm feeling really guilty, should I have just said yes? I'm a terrible person aren't I!

No, you were well within your rights to say no. Put this out of your mind and concentrate on getting better.

No, you weren't being unreasonable. You have no idea of her history.

Definitely being reasonable unfair of her to ask and put you in that situation when you clearly felt uncomfortable!

I would have allowed her to borrow phone, but no way share a cab. If someone really needs transport back, then hospital should arrange it. The fact they didn’t speaks volumes.

Not unreasonable at all, I wouldn't have been comfortable in that situation either.

TBH, I'd have not dialled the numbers initially either. If anyone had answered the calls, you'd have been expected to hand over your phone, and I wouldn't be doing that.

So now 4 random strangers have OPs phone number and the lady was possibly trying to found out her address. This would freak me out.

Forget about her and focus on yourself. You were not unreasonable in anyway!

@seeleyboo it's a fair point, it was on my work phone though so not linked to me and I've blocked the numbers she rang already so they can't get in touch.

Thank you for helping me not feel so guilty!

I wouldn’t have dialled the numbers for her at all, doesn’t A&E usually have a pay phone or the staff could’ve called someone for her if she needed to arrange a lift home. I certainly wouldn’t have given her a lift either, she was a chancer. Don’t feel bad.

You were definitely not unreasonable. Hope you’re ok OP

YANBU, don't feel too guilty OP, she was at a hospital, not in the middle of nowhere.

It was unfair of her to put you in that uncomfortable position.

What the fuck? She was a total fruit loop

TANBU
She sounds like a nutter to me.
You have had a lucky escape.
Hope your well.

Sorry
that was meant to be YANBU.

YANBU. You’ve no idea who she was and her behaviour suggests she was clearly a bit unstable, plus when you are in A&E yourself you just can’t deal with the extra stress of fussing over a stranger who has latched on to (especially as it sounds like she is a persistent timewaster there). There are plenty of situations in which you can be a Good Samaritan but I don’t think that’s one of them.

YANBU at all, I wouldn't want this person knowing where I lived! I wouldn't have even let her use my phone tbh, though I understand you're less concerned about it as is work and not personal.

Not unreasonable at all. People like that are pushy so it's not bitchy to be somewhat pushy in return. And as for the phone thing, the hospital couldn't let her use a phone?

You're more reasonable than me OP. A man asked to borrow my phone yesterday on the tube platform to send a number via WhatsApp as he could see I had wifi (browsing). I said no! He seemed so fine with it that I was second-guessing myself

YANBU. I wouldn’t even let a stranger borrow my phone in all honesty let alone jump into a late night cab with me.

Don't feel bad at all. You helped her by letting her try and make calls.

If she really needed help, she was in exactly the right place to receive it, you shouldn't feel like it was on you to step in.

Whilst YANBU and I too would say you shouldn't feel bad, I think I too would feel bad in this situation. The person does seem to have problems and by the sounds of it, she wasn't inconveniencing you too much. Society today seems to be not about getting involved with others, that they may be trying to con or hurt you being the reason that you do not help. I am saying thats wrong cause the repercussions of meeting a wrong person can be terrible but I think its a shame that even talking to someone can be viewed with suspicion.

YANBU if she had been in the taxi with you she would have asked to be dropped off first, probably miles out of your way then conveniently have no money on her to pay her share of the fare. I would have done the same as you OP.