AIBU to be terrified of being discharged from hospital?

[UndertheCedartree]

I've been in hospital the past 2 years. The last year on a ward for therapy and I've been able to go home at the weekend. I'm coming up for discharge in November...and I'm terrified!

The routine in hospital really helps me as well as drop ins with my therapist whenever I want, lots of support from the occupational therapist, social worker and advocate. I just don't know what I will do without them! I have 2 young children to look after and I am so scared that it is all going to go wrong

You can do it!

You will have support when you come out and you will have a routine too, just a different one.

Why don't you spend the time before you leave hospital making yourself a timetable of activities and support groups to attend when you're home? Research things to do near you and include different options for different weather conditions.

I would imagine it to be really unsettling OP...maybe though if the hospital staff were not confident then you wouldnt be up for discharge.I suspect they have more confidence in you than you have in yourself.I would trust them.If they think you will be ok pretty sure you will be.Good Luck...

It must be a very scary thought, but the professionals looking after you must think you are ready. It’s still a little while off, let them know your concerns and use this time to work through them. I’ll bet your little ones are counting the days. Good luck!🍀💕

I appreciate this isn't the same thing AT ALL but I have been off work for seven months due to my mental health. Going back to work was and is terrifying. My routines are up the wall and I'm having to find new ones. You can do this. Presumably you'll have outpatient support? You have to try scary as it is.

Two years is a long time, of course you will be scared, I think that is natural. But you can't live in hospital all your life. You would be missing out on so much. The professionals are saying you will be ready in November, that is 3 months away. They will be working with you to help you to get better enough to go home then.

Aw, thanks for the vote of confidence from all your lovely messages

@kellyhall - that's a very good idea, thanks.

@seren85 - well done for getting well enough to go back to work. I imagine it would be very scary. I hope you manage to get your routines sorted and things settle down for you. I have a care-co but to be honest she has not been helpful or supportive atall in the past.

Gosh I think anyone would be scared of such a transition! I struggle with change- moving home etc- and I think this is very common. So having had such a long time in hospital you are bound to feel worried about leaving. Totally to be expected. Hopefully the next phase of your life will be exciting and rewarding. There are always good things that come from change even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Good luck!

I was I'm hospital for 6 weeks with pre-eclampsia. I found being discharged hugely difficult and unsettling - brilliant but so, so weird. I'd become fairly institutionalised in just that short space of time so I'm not surprised how you're feeling 💐

Could you make a plan around some routines you could have in place to help with the transition? Maybe a schedule or a menu? Sorry if these seem like silly ideas.

Will you have a lot of support in place for going home? Will the current care arrangements for your small children still be there to allow you time to start taking over their care in your own time? Try and think of taking small steps rather than being able to cope with everything all at once. You can do this.

@thank you so much - I really struggle with change too
@sageyourresoluteoracle - not silly ideas atall! I think some kind of routine would help.
@apolloanddaphne - I think this is part of why I'm feeling so scared - I don't really know what support there will be. My care coordinator is awful so not expecting anything from her. My children's father lives in my house with the children during the week (he has a tiny flat so not room for them there plus of course it was more settling for them to stay in their own home) so I will be with them full time once I leave hospital. Their dad will see them 3 days a week (2 days during the week and Saturday). I am feeling overwhelmed about this. I'm not sure what to put into place to help.

Are your DC under the age of 5 and have you got HomeStart in your area? I am a Homestart volunteer and if you qualify for support (by having children under 5) I think they would be able to help you a lot. You can self refer or ask your health visitor to make a referral. I also assume your HV will be able to offer other supports for you as they will know what is available in your area.

The team at the hospital are setting you up to fail if they have not considered how you will manage at home with 2 small children after so long in hospital.

Hi UndertheCedarTree

Many years ago, I was in hospital for a long time (MH issues). I can remember feeling exactly the same. When I first went into hospital, I hated it. Then I get used to the routine and made lots of friends, Finally, was was so scared of leaving.

However, I dared not voice my fears. Everyone was so positive, but I just felt terrified.

One of the things that scared me was loneliness or rather, being alone. I had people around me for such a long time. There was a camaraderie among patients because we were all in this together (I have not known such intense friendship since) and I was leaving that behind to go to an empty flat.

I was also frightened that I would 'slip back' to my old patterns of behaviour because they were a coping mechanism.

However, although things were difficult, there was support. Like you, I had a social worker and she came to see me. My family were also hugely supportive. It was hard, it was lonely, but human beings adapt amazingly quickly.

So, well done for talking about this. It will be strange and I should imagine there will be a transition plan in place e.g. a few days leave, then perhaps a week or two before the final discharge. If not, ask your SW about this.

One thing that I can remember vividly is going to places that I had not been to for such a long time and feeling a sort of flash back to before I went into hospital. This came as a shock to me, so there may be some feelings that take you by surprise.

However, I am sure, with your family, with transition and with the right sort of support, you will get through this change.

@apolloanddaphne - my youngest is 7 but I will see if there is anything available. A weekly volunteer would be helpful.

@ballacre - I can relate to everything you say! Thank you for sharing - it has made me feel a little less alone. Leaving the girls I have been living with for so long is going to be so hard. I am so scared of being home, the children in bed and everything closing in on me. I don't have any local family but the children's father is very supportive as is my boyfriend - although being so far away has put strain on our relationship at times.