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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?

28 replies

Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 21:13

As you all may know, I have one ds (twelve years old) and a fifteen year old daughter.
My ds is on the spectrum, dd suspected and i'm currently suspecting it in myself too.
dd's father (we are now divorced) is from the middle east type area (a mix of Syria, Iran etc) so dd has very thick dark hair and grows facial hair very easily.
she's quite insecure about this. It breaks my heart when i hear her talk about how she wishes to be english like me and her brother, she's experienced racism from classmates Sad
But she's recently discovered a 'model' on instagram called Sophia Hadjipentali? If that's the wrong spelling, I apologise.
Now, don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful woman, but she has a quite awful looking unibrow Hmm I don't know if it's to get attention, but she flaunts it around on instagram like some sort of fashion accessory.
Dd usually shaves her unibrow off, but these past few weeks she has been refusing. I personally think it looks awful. She's very beautiful, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair etc and I think she could pull off a lot of things but not a bloody unibrow and a mustache Hmm
Now it's her body and she can do what she wants with it but I don't want to upset her.
What do you think? This probably sounds strange but advice would be appreciated! x

OP posts:
Stravapalava · 15/08/2019 21:17

Just googled - Sophia's lips are weirder than her brows!!

Regarding your daughter - it will likely only be a phase, so let her get on with it is what I say. It's good in a way that she is owning her culture and being proud of who she is, rather than conforming.

I must say I feel that way in general about "the youth" nowadays - they're far more comfortable and cool with accepting themselves than I was in my day.

StoneofDestiny · 15/08/2019 21:56

It's not a good look. It will certainly get her attention - maybe unwelcome attention unfortunately.

AIBU to not let daughter grow a unibrow?
teachermam · 15/08/2019 21:58

Tell her to start threading

No more shaving

MargotSimpson · 15/08/2019 22:19

Why have you posted this thread twice?

RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 22:20

Yes, why have you posted this thread twice?

SallyWD · 15/08/2019 22:22

Leave her alone. It's her body and if she doesn't want to remove body hair you can't force her. I personally think it's refreshing that a teenage girl is accepting how she naturally is.

Original poster
Albatross454 · 15/08/2019 22:24

Aaah! sorry. When I first posted it it glitched so I spam clicked the start conversation button Hmm

OP posts:
Horehound · 15/08/2019 22:26

I'm pretty sure unibrows are classed as a thing of beauty in other countries.

Just let her do what she likes. I do expect she will be bullied more though as it's not seen as "normal" in the UK.

changinguser · 15/08/2019 22:27

Absolutely let her wax, bleach her hair with Jolen or thread it.

It's not make up, it's about being feminine and feeling good for herself.

I am mediterranean and therefore, hairy. Now, being old(er) and wise(r) I am so glad my mum always encouraged me to look good (appropiately, like no make up but why do I need to look like I have a moustache?)

foxandthehound · 15/08/2019 22:28

Yabvu to expect her to remove her own facial hair for cosmetic reasons, even though she is starting to accept and embrace it.

Miljah · 15/08/2019 22:29

I gently told my 18 year old DS that he is getting a bit of a unibrow.

I have to be careful as he has quite bad cystic acne which he's self-conscious about.

He is only too keen for me to wax it!

RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 22:32

It's not make up, it's about being feminine and feeling good for herself

I think you've read the thread wrong. The daughter doesn't want to wax it but the mum wants her to. The daughter feels good about herself in her natural state.

MohairMenace · 15/08/2019 22:34

This is likely to be a phase, but an important one on the journey to figuring out who she is and where she and her Middle Eastern features fit into the world. I saw a similar thing with a young colleague who had what she described as a ‘distinctly Persian nose’ she had a very complex love/ hate thing with it for a few years whilst she tested out different facets of her mixed ethnic and cultural identity. Let her be.

MoomimWoomin · 15/08/2019 22:42

I think you should be extremely proud of your daughter for wanting to explore her true self, sure she might find out the hard way that people can be very cruel but this is a lesson for her to learn on her own and be in control of. It's also a time for her to learn that Instagram does not portray real life. Sure this may end in tears but it should also end in you being hugely proud of the brave and self accepting daughter you have produced Smile

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 15/08/2019 22:44

Shaving? Really. You’re making it worse then.

RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 22:49

Link to other thread, for anyone interested:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3666598-AIBU-to-not-let-daughter-grow-a-unibrow?msgid=89340227#89340227

changinguser · 15/08/2019 22:55

@RedCowboyBoots thanks Confused

QueenOfPain · 15/08/2019 22:58

Let her do whatever she wants with her own body hair, you are reinforcing the idea that something is unacceptable about her non-white appearance, the majority of the media will do that more than enough without her mum peddling the same tired old xenophobic rubbish.

RedCowboyBoots · 15/08/2019 22:59

@changinguser

The OP made some very interesting and relevant contributions to that thread so people on this one aren't really getting the whole picture.

WelcomeToGreenvale · 15/08/2019 22:59

It's her hair and her choice. She may change her mind, she may find that it's difficult to stand out in such a way, but it is not your decision. If she wasn't shaving her legs or her pits, wearing shorts and tank tops, would you be so annoyed by it?

You may not find it attractive but it's not about your perception of beauty. It's her decision. Respect it.

QueenOfPain · 15/08/2019 23:00

Also thick natural brows are so in right now, don’t be encouraging her to make the 90’s white women mistake of over plucking beyond recovery.

CodenameVillanelle · 15/08/2019 23:04

Meh, let her have her face how she wants.
There is a weird fashion amongst some young people of making themselves look as ugly as possible. I think it's a reaction against the hyper feminine and styled look. I find it weird (ugly, ripped clothes, unflattering baggy shapes, nasty hair colour with roots showing etc) but I'm not a teenager so it's not meant to appeal to me. Let her do her thing.

YesImStressed · 15/08/2019 23:10

I hadn't heard of a unibrow until I read your post! I think I had one myself until my early 20s because I didn't realise u were meant to pluck your eyebrows etc... until that age! I had my first eyebrow wax and sort out in my 20s! No-one bullied me for what.musy have been a unibrow (though I'm quite fair, so it wouldn't have been very bold), and I had no negative repercussions. I'd let your daughter be, if she gets some negative attention she'll choose to ditch it herself.

Hohofortherobbers · 15/08/2019 23:12

It's up to her, leave her be.

1stmonkey · 15/08/2019 23:13

Of all the things to worry about? She's not asking for piercings and tattoos. She's not even asking to dye her hair. She's just choosing not to continue with removing entirely natural facial hair.
Whether its a phase or a look she chooses to continue there is nothing here that's going to cause her harm or that is irreversible.
Why is it so important to you that she removes her hair? Is it just so that she looks "western pretty"?