Silly issues?

[justanothergirl111]

I just need some advice honestly.

My boyfriends mother really doesn't like me being with her son, she thinks that my job is silly, thinks I'm immature and overall a bad person for her son.

My boyfriend and I are now taking things even further in our relationship and trying to get a house.

His mother insists he stays at home until shes gone... my boyfriend loves his mum so much and wants to stay at home... I've been informed that once married, I would have to live with them....

There is no way I could do that, it's already unbearable just seeing her... but having to live together would kill me.

Oh and to make things worse, im almost 6 months pregnant, it's not as easy as just leaving him...

What can I do, my boyfriend is upset with me that I won't move in with his family.

I don't drive and he lives in a different city to me... how would I ever see my own family 😓 i feel like my whole life I'm gonna be trapped in a family I didn't ask for.

Cut your loses. He can still be a Dad.
My aunt did this to her husband... after a few years of overbearing mil he loved out. The marriage was doomed and they spent their lives apart. She felt he didn’t love her because he wouldn’t live with her and her family. He eltcshe don’t love him enough to leave. Very sad, mil was a total control freak.

God how old is he?

Doesn't sound very silly to me. He needs to grow up and tell his Mummy to cut the apron strings. If he won't, then you need to figure out how you're going to be a single mum. I strongly urge you not to go and live with her, you will be manipulated and bullied from day 1... And think how controlling she'll be when your baby arrives. Don't do it!

Don’t move in with them. How far apart do you live? If you moved in how would you get to work - it’s just not possible.

He needs to decide where his priorities lie, with his mummy or his partner and child.

Time to put your foot down. Hes obviously used to cow towing to a strong over bearing woman... im afraid its going to be a battle of wills here. You are going to have to be stronger and more over bearing than her. Put your foot down. Tell him him how it is. Hes going to be a dad so its time to cut the apron strings. Stick to your guns or you will both be ruled by his mother forever.

...and btw its not that his mother dosent like you.... its that she feels threatened by you. She realises you are THE ONE that could steal her son away frim her and she will do whatever she can to hold onto him!

His mother insists he stays at home until shes gone

If by gone she means dead, then that’s just weird. Very unhealthy. You have children, you bring them up, you prepare them for adulthood - and that means they leave home and establish families of their own.

If you did a good job then they stay in contact, share their lives with you, support you as you age - because they love you, not because you have brainwashed them to think they’re not allowed to leave. Free choices of free adults.

Your bf is not a free adult because his mother has not raised him to be one. It’s possible he could become one but it would be a long and painful road and his mum will not like it. She will blame you.

Don’t know what to suggest, tbh.

I'm confused. First of all you say that you and your boyfriend are taking things further and trying to get yourselves a house, but then you say that your boyfriend wants to stay at home. Which is it?

Either way, if your boyfriend is trying to force you to move in with his mother because he doesn't want to leave home, the problem here is your boyfriend and not his mother. End this now because it will not get any better.

How old are you and your DP @justanothergirl111 ?

Wtf? Just say no! Very weird