To have said no to this?

[BrunettesDoItBetter]

Name changed.
Dd 4 friends mum asked if dd wanted to go to a large park area this pm with her,dh and kids ,I replied yes thanks she would and I'd fetch her car seat round.
Friends mum said it's ok theres not enough room in back for 3 car seats (she has a toddler also) she can sit in back with just seatbelt as you are legally allowed to do this.I said I'm really sorry but dd cant come then as never travels without being in a car seat.In the end dd is going in her friends car seat and mum has chosen to let her child to sit in back without one.was I being u and precious? It is 35 min travel time.

Hell no. It's illegal to do this as all children must be in a car seat until approximately 12. I wouldn't allow her to go end of. The irresponsibility of this parent screams for you to not trush her with your child on any level.

No. If you were worried about your child being unsafe it’s better to speak up than take risks out of politeness.

Besides, I’m not sure it is actually legal for a young child to go without a car seat before a certain height or age.

@SeeleyBoo she is a great parent honestly its just this risk taking I was dubious about

Risking your dc's life isn't being a great parent...

I wouldn’t - some people seem blasé about this. Your child, your decision, but I would feel exactly as you do.

Depends on age of children. Is your child a toddler too, or an older child?

You're incorrect. That is not legal at all. And she is not a great parent.

@TabbyMumz OPs daughter is 4.

If I'm reading this page right, technically the mother is correct. www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat

However, I don't think you're being unreasonable. I have refused lifts for my daughter for the same reason.

@Elder I think that must be the page shes looked at,I feel such a cow now

Unexpected journeys

If the correct child car seat isn’t available, a child aged 3 or older can use an adult seat belt if the journey is all of the following:

unexpected
necessary
over a short distance

You can’t take children under 3 on an unexpected journey in a vehicle without the correct child car seat, unless both of the following apply:

it’s a licensed taxi or minicab
the child travels on a rear seat without a seat belt

They have to be in a car seat until they're 12?!

They have to be in a car seat until they're 12?!

No, not if they reach a certain height first, which most probably do.

All I've deduced from this - I said I'm really sorry but dd cant come then as never travels without being in a car seat.In the end dd is going in her friends car seat and mum has chosen to let her child to sit in back without one.was I being u and precious? It is 35 min travel time. - some how your daughters safety is more precious than the other child.

Sorry, but I'd have taken my own car and followed.

Using the rule of....if no seat is available doesn't make it safe. Thats a no from me.

Legal isn't the same as safe. My large 8 year old is still too small to safely travel without a car seat in my car. I wouldn't take a 4 year old anywhere without a car seat unless it was an emergency.

I wouldn’t let her go anyway - with another young child with no car seat because my dd has hers.

@IAskTooManyQuestions

I dont drive,I was going to walk round to her house with car seat.Her childs safety isn't less important than mine but it's her decision as the parent whether to take that risk as it is my decision for my child not to

They have to be in a car seat until they're 12?!

Nope, most kids will reach the minimum height requirement at about 8.

The law allows over 3 to travel with no seat. I wouldn't allow it as a parent.

I wouldn't let her go. She's displaying really poor judgement.

I don't think YABU. I wouldn't let my DD travel not in a car seat at that age. Car seat law in the UK is still a bit woeful too. Most accidents happen on short journeys, I believe, so it seems an odd caveat.

The part of the link I'm referring to is this:

No room for a third child car seat

"Children under 3 must be in a child car seat. If there’s no room for a third child car seat in the back of the vehicle, the child must travel in the front seat with the correct child car seat.

Children aged 3 or older can sit in the back using an adult belt."

I thought it was strange this was legal, but I suppose this is to cover unusual circumstances such as families with triplets, quads etc who would run out of room in a normal car!

Don't feel bad about refusing, though. If you're not comfortable with the risk, then you're not comfortable with the risk.

Please dont do this. Its illegal and you could be in trouble with the law.
You would never forgive yourself if something awful happened.
Also car seats/boosters are down to the weight of the child.

Her childs safety isn't less important than mine but it's her decision as the parent whether to take that risk as it is my decision for my child not to

But you're putting her child in a position you wouldnt want for your child. If yo u dont drive, get the bus. You're both equally exhibiting poor judgement.