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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU parking thread

202 replies

TastingTheRainbow · 15/08/2019 12:18

Parking thread with a difference in that I am the one that parked inconsiderately and am now blocked in BUT I have a reason.

I am a midwife and was called out to an (unplanned and unexpected) home birth early this morning. Midwife 1 arrived before me and parked across the drive of the person giving birth. I arrived second and parked behind midwife 1 therefore blocking the neighbours drive.

Neighbours drive was empty so not blocking any car in and as it’s a typical new build estate there was no where else to park except miles away and when carrying heavy oxygen tanks etc. that’s not possible. Not very considerate granted but from what I understand it’s not illegal to block an empty driveway and in an emergency situation acceptable. I put a note in the windscreen explaining midwife on emergency call and left my phone number to call if it needs moving.

Have come out now and a car has parked behind me blocking both me and midwife 1 in (as I’m blocking her).

Not had a phone call from anyone asking me to move and have knocked on the house that the drive belongs to and there is no answer.

AIBU to think that while it’s annoying when you’re drive is blocked if you’re neighbour needs emergency attendance AND there is a note explaining this that you just put up with the inconvenience for a short time and don’t stop 2 midwives from attending to their other patients now.

Ps. If the house is owned by a mumnetter and you’re blocking in a black corsa, please let us out.

OP posts:
choosingchilli · 16/08/2019 16:07

Thanks for the explanation op, I wasn't doubting you but had never heard of this happening before so was interested to know how it works.

tabulahrasa · 16/08/2019 16:30

“I can’t explain fully how she knew it was labour rather than something else without divulging confidential information”

Ah right, no bother...

I’m just nosy - I was just asking in an, ooh, that’s interesting kind of way.

EllenMP · 16/08/2019 17:38

YANBU. I would have put the note through their letterbox, though. In case they didn't see the one on your dash. But surely they only needed to knock on the new parents door and ask for access to their drive. New parents don't have a number for the neighbour?

Esspee · 16/08/2019 17:50

Could I ask how mother and baby are doing OP?

Idontwanttotalk · 16/08/2019 18:07

"I have not breached confidentiality. The only people who would know where this is are the neighbours."
If the neighbour saw it he would know that his neighbour had a concealed pregnancy though and he could tell the world and his wife.

bellabasset · 16/08/2019 18:19

It seems as though OP needs an officially recognised identity card to put in her car when she is on call, these could be photo ID with a reference no and contact details.

Maybe the neighbour got home and parked without checking the note on the car.

Are mum and baby safe and well?

Elsie1966 · 16/08/2019 18:27

Can't you drive/reverse onto neighbours drive to turn ?

username678889 · 16/08/2019 18:33

I don't think you need to explain about your patient if anyone has asked a question ignore . The thread was about you were blocked in nothing more .
Anyway like you say all sorted now .

PinkyPurply · 16/08/2019 18:51

Did you get an apology from neighbour op? I'd be mortified if I'd done this to an emergency service. But then I'd have just parked on the second half of the drive regardless of seeing a note or not and privately seethed for half an hour before realising it really didn't matter.

If you're ever around my way feel free to park across the drive, and congrats (I hope) on the home birth, definitely not the easiest job!

strawberrysweets · 16/08/2019 18:59

OP thank you for everything that you do!

You're amazing and you did nothing wrong.

Sorry there are so many arseholes on this thread!

I appreciate you!!

LahndonTown · 16/08/2019 19:23

I had an unplanned home birth with 4 midwives turn up in 2 cars - if my neighbours did that I'd be really cross but they're all very understanding people. If someone had blocked my drive I'd have been annoyed until I'd seen the note. IMO OP YADNBU FlowersGrin

northernlites · 16/08/2019 19:54

In the area I work we cannot use or leave ID's (or even ...on Call) in the cars due to the security risk as a lone worker so I can see why OP had to leave a note

We also get parking tickets at times when we do home visits, as the council decided to stop issuing parking permits for us, even though it's for essential visits.

Our health care trust refuses to pay our tickets even though we had no alternate parking option. They instead advise we pay and display in car park,
this is fine if it's close to patients home but if it's a mile away which it often is, they expect us to carry heavy equipment all that way and also waste precious time, rather than them coming to some agreement with the council or pay the ticket 🎫
It's madness

loulou0987 · 16/08/2019 20:21

Surely if anyone does recognise this situation you have shared too much info about the patient?? PleAse consider deleting the post with patient sensitive info

Devilinatwinset · 16/08/2019 22:22

Sunflowers211 would OF ?Hmm

Callaird · 16/08/2019 23:36

This is mumsnet right?!

Totally confused that mums would be put out that someone has parked halfway across their drive while (THE) midwife is delivering a new life into this world of pedants and selfish people and people who were lucky enough to not have to have a unknown birth unexpected at home, the midwive has no idea about this mother because she was unaware she was expecting so none of the prenatal checks had been carried out to know what kind of birth or complications she made have.

Fuck, if it was my house and neighbour @TastingTheRainbow you could park in my sitting room if you needed to.

Soontobe60 · 16/08/2019 23:58

@Idontwanttotalk
No one said it was a concealed pregnancy.

InMySpareTime · 17/08/2019 07:56

Even without the thread the neighbour would know about the birth from the note on the midwife's car.
Other neighbours may also notice that there is a new baby. They're not exactly inconspicuous!
The thread is neither here nor there identification-wise.

sakura06 · 17/08/2019 08:23

YANBU. Anyone who blocks in a medical professional on an emergency call is beneath contempt. The only mitigating circumstance would be if they didn't see your note for whatever reason.

Tonnerre · 17/08/2019 09:14

If the neighbour saw it he would know that his neighbour had a concealed pregnancy though and he could tell the world and his wife

Why concealed? It's not in the least unknown for people to give birth having been unaware they were pregnant till they went into labour.

LaMarschallin · 17/08/2019 11:32

Obviously none of us know the exact circumstances here (I know I speculated above, but that was me speculating, not asking for actual facts about the case).

I know I - along with some others, who may have put their viewpoints more strongly than I would/did - have wondered about confidentiality issues.

Not about the story per se, but other contributory details such as the diagram (a must-have on MN, I know) and the make and colour of the neighbour's car. Those, together with the fact that this was an unexpected birth attended at home by two midwives, could lead to a breach of confidentiality.

Especially as it's been mentioned that the OP has posted on other occasions that she is a midwife. It's very unlikely, but not impossible that someone could look back over her posts and potentially get an idea of her geographical location.

It sounds mad, but look at some of the trolls that have been on here.

If it transpired that the mother had reasons for not wanting others to know details about her pregnancy (from a concealed one to just wanting to keep her private business, well... private) she may feel she has grounds for complaint if she happens upon this thread on MN.

Obviously the OP is an experienced HCP and knows what she's doing and also is well aware of the importance of confidentiality. She's happy with it as, presumably, are MNHQ as someone said they'd reported the thread and here it still is.

I'm also a HCP (nothing so glam as an emergency midwife, I'm afraid Smile).
Personally I wouldn't have posted these details but I may well be being too cautious.

I just think others* who've commented on this have been shut down quite abruptly when it seems to me that they have a valid point.

*No, not me. I think my comment was so underplayed as to be noticeable Smile

LaMarschallin · 17/08/2019 11:34

"Unnoticeable". Tsk.

Ferret27 · 17/08/2019 12:19

Yanbu

Original poster
TastingTheRainbow · 17/08/2019 12:44

@LaMarschallin The diagram shows 2 houses on a new build estate that has a standard layout that has been reproduced over and over again in this area. It could be any one of those as it’s impossible to determine which estate and which part of it I am referring to from a diagram of just 2 houses.

I also never mentioned the neighbours car make or colour. I mentioned MY car make and colour. Black corsa’s are not exactly rare so impossible to identify me from that.

There is absolutely no way that anyone can identify the patient from the details I have posted, believe me!

OP posts:
LaMarschallin · 17/08/2019 12:56

TastingTheRainbow

Fair enough. And I'm sorry I mixed your car up with the neighbour's one.

I won't ask what would happen if the new mother happens to come across her story on MN as I'm sure you know her well enough to know she'd be quite happy about it.

As I said, you're obviously experienced and know what you're doing, and you will know what's appropriate for you to disclose on a public message board.

I would have erred on the side of (over) caution and we'd have missed a thought-provoking thread Smile

FishyMcFishyfingersFace · 17/08/2019 17:11

Sorry, just found this thread so am late posting!

I can't believe the attitudes of some people in this world, if everyone was as entitled and nasty as some the world would be an absolutely awful place to live in.

As far as I am concerned if a medical professional etc are attending an emergency their vehicles should be classed as emergency vehicles, maybe something should be done to bring in rules about this.

OP You got there, did your job and were badly inconvenienced for it. I apologise on behalf of all those who feel sorry about what happened. Thank you for attending and helping both mum and baby.

On a personal note. I have had more than one planned home birth. They were very quick and for one in particular the first mw was there just minutes before dc was born, the second mw turned up as dc head was delivering. The umbilical cord was around dcs neck and if the mws had been delayed my dc may well have died. If they had had to look for parking further away from our house I dread to think what might have happened, but it didn't thankfully.

On the the other hand, if they had parked blocking a neighbour's access and then had been blocked in themselves, because I was fine after giving birth, I would have been knocking on neighbours doors myself to get them to shift, and telling them why. But I can be a mardy beggar when I feel an injustice has been served.

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