Should I send the text...

[Fakehair83]

Myself and ex broke up two years ago he wS having an affair.,,we had been together 14 years grew up together etc.

His friends became my friends one in particular I was very close too would have been in contact with more than husband organising get togethers etc,

Anyway when we broke up it wasn’t so much that they took sides but I had my own friends and didn’t want to be in my exs company in social gatherings so I backed off.

This friends in particular is getting married and told me he wanted me at the wedding and to save any awkwardness neither me or ex would have a plus one for the day...fair enough. I have met someone new and I am very happy ex is still with the OW.

When the invites came I got one just for me and from talking to ex (we have a child together) it transpires he got a plus one and obviously is bringing the gf. I declined my invite said I didn’t want to cause any argument and as ex was groomsman he should be able to enjoy the day fully. If im honest I was very hurt the OW was invited as me and this friend had been very close.

Today is the wedding day and I’m in two minds as to whether to text a good luck message or just say nothing as I don’t really feel they deserve my ‘good luck’

I would say I have been v grown up throughout my marriage break up.

The OW and my ex are very on off my Dc was going on holiday with her dad and a week before I was told the OW was going bare in mind I was told they had finished. I didn’t stop my daughter from going as she is not a possession.

However I will not socialise with the both of them and look like the desperate ex who won’t let go.

The whole situation seems overly drama filled to me. I've been to many a wedding of old uni friends where a former couple are there with their new partners. Sometimes one of the partners is the OW or OM. The couples get seated at different tables. They make a point of quietly avoiding each other. It's not like you broke up 2 months ago, it has been two YEARS.

Right up front you should have made it a non-issue, told the wedding couple a standard invitation with a plus one would be fine not to worry because you and ex will behave like adults and not create drama at their wedding.

When you found out ex was taking OW, did you not think to ask if you could now also take new DP? Rhetorical question, because at this stage it doesn't change the day, but it might have helped clarify what was going on.

I hope sending the text has made today seem easier for you. You sound like you wanted to do the right thing, just weren't sure what that was.

Their getting married on a Thursday? That’s massively inconvenient if you’ve got jobs to go to.

do they know your not going becasue of the situation or jsut they assume your not because you ust cant make it/busy etc

You should send a card not a text.

The not giving plus ones was the couples choice...I didn’t want to start dictating what they done at their wedding

Well they both went back on their word, AND chose the person with form for betrayal and their morally dubious partner over their other friend. They made their choice, I'd make mine.

I wouldn't have sent the text and I'd have cut contact totally. It's not too late to do the latter.

Yes contact will be cut it’s been a bit upsetting today seeing her in what used to be ‘my’ place with what I thought were ‘my’ friends. Seeing my ex in the pictures today gives me no feelings at all as in I DON’T want to be standing there with him. I’m just a little disappointed in my so called friends smiling away and laughing on social media videos with her. Aw well you live and learn I suppose

The first post by Witchinaditch was spot on. When they go low, go high. Be the bigger person.

💯💯💯