To feel put out by this?

[NameChange2306]

My DP’s parents and family don’t refer to me as ‘auntie’ to his brother and sister’s children.
We’re not married yet, we are engaged, we have a 10 month old together and we live in a house we bought together.
They refer to his brother’s wife and his sister’s husband as uncle and auntie so and so.
But with me it’s names changed “Oh here’s Uncle Peter and Liz...” so if we are signing a birthday card to the children, I don’t know what to sign myself as. So last time my partner wrote it and put me down as auntie...otherwise it would have read Love from Uncle Peter and Liz...opposed to Love from Uncle Peter and Auntie Liz.
Even after this, his sister, mum, dad, brother, but particularly his mum and sister won’t refer to me as that, it’s still just my name.

Apart from that we get on well, I see them often and his parents have been a great help to me and our DS, they’re even looking after him one day a week when I go back to work.

AIBU?

Some people only.recognise auntie or uncle in marriage I guess its personal preference.

I've been with my DH for 34 years, married for 22 of them, my nieces and nephews don't call me aunt but my DCs call their parents aunt and uncle. Yes it pisses me off as well

I’m auntie to dp’s nephews and nieces but I’m not married to dp - we live together and I was with him when the kids were born, so maybe it’s just a natural thing that I was auntie from when they were born?

We weren’t together when the two girls were born but were when the two boys were born.

This has got me thinking. My son has always calls my sister’s (now) husband by name, not “Uncle x”. They got together while I was pregnant and my sister was quite young and it’s just stuck even though they’ve been together now about 10 years (they only got married last year) I don’t think it bothers him but then I don’t think these things bother men as much anyway!

My husband and I don’t have any nieces or nephews on either side so I don’t know how I’d feel.

I have never called my aunt or uncle aunt xx or uncle yy it’s always been Joan and peter, my nephews never call me auntie chloemol, just chloemol. It’s never bothered me

I’ve never been ‘Aunt’ and never will be. My name is perfectly adequate for any nieces or nephews to refer to me

That’s really weird and would make me want to ask them why.

My nieces and nephews don't refer to my Dh as uncle. He's been around since before the two eldest were talking. No big deal. Don't think he sees them as his nieces and nephews either though.

I became an aunt when I was six. I'm now a great great aunt in my 50s and I still find it disconcerting to be called Aunty. I really don't like it, it's always made me feel old.

As said , you are not married so technically you are not an Aunt. Having said that, two of my nieces call me by by name not Auntie Pattie. I'm sorry it bothers you.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds really familiar.

Anyhoo, I’m on the fence tbh. I know lots of people I know who are terribly formal and would only consider marriage as being when “auntie, uncle” would apply. Equally I have loads of friends who refer to me as “auntieHopeful” even though we’re not related by blood or marriage.

I think it boils down to how strongly you feel about it. If it stresses you out enough to want to say something then I think you absolutely should.

Weirdly I had an uncle refer to me when talking to a 3rd person as “Sorrysorrysosorry is my wife’s niece” he was married to my aunt before I was born. I’m now 40’s and have always called him uncle Pete. I found that odd.

If you see them as nephews/nieces then just go ahead and sign as ‘Auntie NameChange2306’ maybe they will call you by full title when you are married.

As a child I had to use auntie x or uncle y
I taught my kids to call my brothers and long term girlfriend aunt x and uncle y
When my brother had a baby I was just rainbow not auntie rainbow
It did bother me but I don’t speak to them now so nothing I can do
It’s their choice I guess

I don't suppose yabu because you are the only one, I assume it's down to not being married and probably force of habit too.

Thankfully none of the kids on either side call anyone auntie/uncle, I personally hate it.

But I also don't see my husband's nieces/nephews as mine, I know that divides opinions on mn but I just don't, I am fond of them but they aren't my nieces/nephews

My husband is 13 yrs older than me. His eldest niece is 2.5 years younger than me, the other 4.5 years younger, his 2 nephews were 5/7 yrs when I first met them. We have been together 11 years,married nearly 10. I've never been called aunty. I don't have siblings so will never be an aunty. My best friends kids call me aunty that's good enough for me... Just as well really its the best ill ever get!!! 😂 😂 😂

"Some people only recognise auntie or uncle in marriage"
This.

So many posters on MN refer to their MIL, SIL etc when they aren't married to their partner. You are not married to your partner so your DP's siblings and their spouses are not uncles and aunties to your DC. It's just fact. Neither are you an auntie to your DP's siblings' children. Atm you are just the girlfriend/fiance of their uncle.

Maybe when you marry your DP you will be referred to as auntie?

It's nice in a way as the status retains a very special relationship.

I think some families just do things differently. I was always called by my name by my ExH’s niece and nephew until my wedding day when they both called me ‘auntie name’ at different times during the day also, when visiting his parents, we had to sleep in separate rooms until we were married, despite having two kids. I never took offence, it’s just how they were.

My siblings and I (and our cousins of a similar age for that matter) have never referred to our aunties and uncles as “Auntie/Uncle X”. Younger cousins refer to my son as their cousin. And my son says “Auntie/Uncle” both for my siblings and my aunts and uncles (but not for my sister’s husband).

I think I have a weird family.