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Original poster

Not to tell friend we have Scabies

36 replies

Lovemenorca · 14/08/2019 18:40

Children and I visited a lovely close friend last week.

This friend and I are very different. She’s yoga teacher, very very green focussed, huge amount of animals an exceptionally relaxed approach to parenting and cleanliness (only relating to household cleaning and hair washing. Teeth brushing and showering daily)

Whereas I am an uptight, strict, ridiculously house proud financial services professional!

She is an incredibly kind loving fun generous person. Honestly, I can’t begin to tell you how supportive she is. Never a bad word to say about anyone. She is a treasure

We have just got back from visiting last week and soon after leaving mad itching started. Truly unbelievable. Then the lumps appeared. Neck, elbows. Awful. the doc today has said it’s not nits. It’s scabies!
My precious day off with the children has been spent entirely treating and washing absolutely everything in sight.

No doubt about it - we caught it when staying. However I don’t know whether to tell her. She is a very sensitive soul and would be devastated to think she’s put me out.

She’s not going to actually change no matter what I tell her. The house, cleanliness standards, animals etc will all be the same, as this is who she is. So I wonder whether worth telling her or just keeping quiet but then not staying over again (it is only a once a year event in any event)

OP posts:
HisBetterHalf · 14/08/2019 18:43

Does your friend or her DC have scabies?

orangeshoebox · 14/08/2019 18:44

tell her.
her pets might suffer if they are not treated properly (maybe that angle makes it a bit less awkward)

scabies is awful - just the memory of it makes me itch.

lavenderbluedilly · 14/08/2019 18:45

I’m sure she’d know if she or her DC have scabies though?

Ilovetolurk · 14/08/2019 18:47

The irritation from scabies takes weeks to present

You should be kindly warning her you may have left her with some little visitors

SoyDora · 14/08/2019 18:47

Surely she’ll already know if you’ve caught it from them, as they’ll have it?

lumpy76 · 14/08/2019 18:47

Scabies usually takes 2/3 weeks to show symptoms - your friends house is unlikely to have been where you caught them. Also, scabies are not spread by animals. Scabies are a human mite only.

Original poster
Lovemenorca · 14/08/2019 18:49

Imagine a very off grid family
The children (also like their mother - full of kindness and love) are essentially feral. I was aware of a lot of itching, but tbh I tried not to pay close attention as otherwise I would scoop up my two and run to nearest hotel

So I wouldn’t be least bit surprised if they had it but didn’t acknowledge it

OP posts:
Horehound · 14/08/2019 18:50

Omg i hope YOU havent given them to her!

littlebitbroken · 14/08/2019 18:52

If it was last week you wouldn't have symptoms yet.

I think you need to tell her that you got scabies elsewhere and there's the possibility that you've given them to her family.

A good friend wouldn't mind.

Malvinaa81 · 14/08/2019 18:53

Just be careful of the diagnosis.
A relative was told they had this by a doctor, and it turned out to be totally inaccurate.

From what you say there might have been other factors in her house/lifestyle leading to your symptoms.

Say nothing and never visit there again, unless you are prepared to go through the same experience or something worse!

Original poster
Lovemenorca · 14/08/2019 18:54

We left last wed morning.

Stayed 6 nights

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovemenorca · 14/08/2019 18:55

@Malvinaa81.

What did it turn out to be?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovemenorca · 14/08/2019 18:55

I’m going to tell her.
Not thought about it from any other angle. She should know

Thank you all

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 14/08/2019 18:56

i was about 9 when the doctor told my folks i had scabies

turns out it was a allergic reaction to biological soap powder

Fibbsdottir · 14/08/2019 18:57

Gp told dh he had scabies once, when it turned out to be an extreme allergic reaction to cow parsley!!

RedCowboyBoots · 14/08/2019 18:58

So you shouldn't have symptoms yet, according to pp. Maybe you should address their comments?

nowayhose · 14/08/2019 18:58

You need to stop blaming your friend and contact her to tell her you have unwittingly visited her while you have scabies. She deserves to know, especially if she's such a lovely person.

Windygate · 14/08/2019 18:59

Scabies incubation period can be eight weeks. Please don't assume you caught it at your friend's house last week.

pepperpot99 · 14/08/2019 19:03

OP why won't you acknowledge that it's not your 'feral' friend who gave you scabies?

tryingtobebetterallthetime · 14/08/2019 19:03

Yes, tell her. The infection could have enough transmitted from your family to hers or the other way around. There is no shame in having scabies, it could come from anywhere and doesn't mean you or your fried are dirty.

PositiveVibez · 14/08/2019 19:03

OP, please read. If you haven't had them before, it's unlike you have caught them from your friend.

Not to tell friend we have Scabies
onanothertrain · 14/08/2019 19:04

If you started itching soon after you left from a 6 days stay and now have scabies you did not catch it at your friend's house. Scabies is not linked to pets or cleanliness.
You should let her know as you have likely infected her and her family.

Original poster
Lovemenorca · 14/08/2019 19:05

Oh dear!

I’m going to say this in caps

I AM GOING TO TELL MY FRIEND. THE TIMELINE MEANS IT COULD WELL BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!

OP posts:
ToTryThisJustOnce · 14/08/2019 19:06

Scabies is common, very difficult to diagnose and many conditions present in a very similar way. The incubation period is usually longer than a week. But can be up to 8 weeks.