So. Let me give this some context!
My son has just turned 16. He has special needs and goes to a special school. He has impaired cognitive function and isn’t able to make rational decisions/ think things through/ understand what is socially ok and what isn’t. He’s on the autism spectrum and struggles with relationships and feelings.
He’s also (despite his difficulties) a developing 16 year old who likes music, playing football, and more recently, girls! I know this is normal and we’ve had the ‘chat’ but he doesn’t really understand this and just deflects the conversation. Last year, maybe to fit in with friends, he started a rumour himself that he’d had sex with a girl. This was categorically untrue and the girl told her mum what he was saying and mum told me. Son admitted it was made up as ‘everyone else says that stuff’. His special school is male only and his friends go to a mixed school so he does sometimes feel left out.
Like most kids he is on Facebook. I monitor this. Nothing untoward. But he has made friends with a girl that he is now constantly talking about. They’ve spoken on the phone and she plans to come down to meet him. She lives near by but not exactly local. She too is 16. Son wants to travel and meet her half way. Can’t say I’m thrilled. She doesn’t know him in terms of all his needs. No way has son told her and it’s not overly obvious on the phone. I don’t know anything about her (could be anyone!) and I’m really worried that they may partake in ‘stuff’ after a period that son won’t think to do safely. He’s already muted this is what ‘boyfriends and girlfriends do’. I got cross last night and did the psycho mother thing and told him straight. The ‘you’ve no idea what love is/ could be a 40yo bloke for all you know/ I don’t want grandkids’ etc etc. I know I can’t keep him locked away forever. And girls do indeed exist! But whether he acknowledges it or not, he’s highly vulnerable and I want to do the right thing to manage this. Grateful for any advice as I’m all out of ideas aside from moving to an uninhabited island with him! (And some gin) 