Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I am not sure what to do

40 replies

Anon31483 · 14/08/2019 10:47

Dating casually i would say a single dad since April.

He said he is looking for a relationship as I am.

His communication pattern is erratic and when i question about it he says he is busy and doesnt ignore me (Which is partially true, he bought a house recently and he does work there as well).

However, things are going very slow with him.

He has mentioned future stuff that he wants to do together, including saying he wants to cook for me and invite me to his place, he says he is very attracted to me.

Whilst i was on holiday he reached out and he said he hurt his arm and said also he wanted to meet me right after i come back. He was also very sexual and said he desires me

At that day, he said he was on call in his shift as he was an engineer but didnt expect any job to come up.

Long story short it came up and he said he is gutted we didnt meet up and that he wanted to try this week (last week when i came back from holiday)

I texted him on Wed, asking him what day did he want to come and he said that he was not sure yet as his arm is really bad and he has painting job in his new flat but he cant wait to see me

We spoke again today but he didnt mention to meet but he said his struggles and again called me babe etc.

I dont know what to do, shall i start looking for others? Shall i tell him to finish?

Ive already made a discussion in the past as to what he wants from this as i want someone for regular dating and he says he will have more time going forward to the summer which is not happening.

Just a note, he doesnt have full custody of his son and he was not married before as he said to me, just engaged.

II just dont know what to do

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 14/08/2019 12:15

Just end it then 🙄

Have you two actually met?

crazylady7 · 14/08/2019 12:17

I feel like you desperately want to be with this man dont you? Youre trying to clasp onto any tiny hope that you could possibly be with him. Youve probably fallen for him far too quickly and he isnt taking this serious like you. Hes just having a bit of fun, stop falling for his charming words and promises, his actions prove them all lies. Leave him, get rid of your feelings for him and move on.

Anon31483 · 14/08/2019 12:27

we have met several times and had sex as well

OP posts:
lavenderbluedilly · 14/08/2019 12:38

He’s keeping you dangling. It doesn’t mean anything if he says he wants to see you but then fails to follow it up with concrete plans. I’d not bother to contact him again tbh. I’d also ignore if he texts you with some vague shit eg his sore arm. This sounds like far too much hard work for the early days of a relationship, really, life is too short.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 14/08/2019 12:49

Have you ever been to his place?

Either he's just not bothered or he's hiding something.

dollydaydream114 · 14/08/2019 13:07

You’ve been dating four months and had sex but you’ve never been to his place and he keeps making up sudden excuses not to see you?

End it now. He’s clearly either still married or seeing other people. He’s using you. Get rid.

dollydaydream114 · 14/08/2019 13:08

As for your question about how you should end it, don’t wait until you see him again. Just message him and say you’re ending it because it wasn’t going anywhere. And if he argues, block him.

Anon31483 · 14/08/2019 13:10

He asked me to go to his parent;s house, as he is living with his parents till he moves in, but I could not go.

He has stayed the night at mine.

He was never married as he told me. As for other people, i cant know that.

Anyway, I am between either to end it by text or have a convo face to face.

Option 1 doesnt seem a good idea

OP posts:
HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 14/08/2019 13:35

OP just end it via text as it doesn't seem he's that bothered in meeting you.

SparklyMagpie · 14/08/2019 13:41

He won't even meet you now, I doubt he's going to agree to meet so you can end things is he?

Just text him

Anon31483 · 14/08/2019 13:54

Well he is the one that said he cant wait to see me....

Anyway he does seem flakey.

Maybe i will simply say I am looking currently for something different than he seems to look so it doesnt work for me

OP posts:
Vasya · 14/08/2019 13:59

It shouldn't be this hard, OP. If he really wanted to see you he would make the effort. You deserve someone who's more into you than this.

I would tell him that you don't think it's working out (you don't need to give him a reason) and that you think it's best you stop seeing each other.

IamWaggingBrenda · 14/08/2019 14:09

Well apparently he can wait to see you. Normally I’d say end it face to face, but as he can’t seem to find the time to even meet up, I’d end it by text. Keeping it going while you look around seems pointless, as he is not likely to change his behaviour. Either he’s really not that interested or he really doesn’t have time to be with you. Either way, you’re wasting your time.

k1233 · 14/08/2019 14:09

He sounds like the type of person I avoid like the plague. Always making plans for some mythical "future" and nothing ever happens in the present.

If his words and actions aren't consistent, go with his actions. If he wanted to see you, he would prioritise it. He isn't.

Anon31483 · 14/08/2019 14:12

Yes i think i will say what i said above if he contacts me again

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread