To not have 'spare' money?

[thebakerwithboobs]

Just curious really. We live comfortably, we have a lovely house, go on holiday (not glam, but fun) each year etc. and do things with the kids like camping weekends, festivals etc. I enjoy sport and often run marathons etc. which cost quite a bit and we love weekend day trips. At the end of the month once everything is paid we don't owe anything but don't have anything left either. My ex husband pays a small amount of maintenance for our children (that isn't a dig, he doesn't earn well hence the small amount but is a good man) and I put that into a savings account for the kids as I don't feel it's 'my' money.

I had a chat with my sister today and she was shocked that we don't save more or have a 'slush' fund. I have an emergency credit card with a big limit that has nothing on it which I keep 'just in case' but have never used it. Until today I thought we did quite well but now I have paranoia that I should do less and save more? My sister told me it was irresponsible to be so 'fast and loose' with money but I've always wanted the children to have experiences with us.

I do understand that this is a first world problem and there are people struggling to make the ends meet so I don't want my post to sound offensive, I'm genuinely curious.

Holly, it would certainly be more difficult and I wouldn't be saving the maintenance that's for sure! But, and I'm touching wood saying this, he is massively unlikely to lose his job because of what he does and only has a couple of years to go before he retires (I married an oldie!)

Aim to put 5-10% of income away in a cash ISA. You'll feel better and won't even notice it. Me and Dh both lost our jobs in the 2008 financial crisis and if we hadn't had savings would have been up shit creek. 12kin savings burned. We too had a credit card and overdraft, they filled up pretty fast and it took years to get back on our feet. Guess how long we were out of work? Just 3 months.

It's definitely a good idea to have 3-6 months of outgoings saved to be used in emergencies. But once you have that amount saved, you may find that actually you don't need to go back to your previous spending habits and you can keep saving money for e.g. to help your children at university, or with deposits for a house.

I would recommend doing an audit of all your expenses for a couple of months, so you can see exactly where your money is going. And then decide whether that's really what you want to use it for. Almost certainly there will be places to cut back where you won't even notice, but if you save that money, over time it will become a significant amount.

I have a feeling you have never experienced redundancy; employer going bust; loss of major client; illness or injury causing inability to earn; mental illness; rise in interest rates making mortgage unaffordable, downturn in trade; technological change making your knowledge and experience outdated.

Good for you.

Let's hope it stays that way.

Fingers crossed.

It’s very silly not to have a decent amount of savings when you have so much ‘fun’ stuff.

you may find that actually you don't need to go back to your previous spending habits and you can keep saving money for
This.
I am well off again but don't spend anywhere near as much as I did pre recession. Once you get the saving bug it becomes second nature. We still have fun as a family.

OP it’s interesting that you mention Escape Rooms because I’ve just been asked to go with some friends and balked at the cost.

It’s up to you what you do with your money but I think if you can save a bit for a rainy day, then great, it’s there.

Agree with pp who mentions illness etc, that’s always at the heart of my plans and good thing too, given some stuff that’s happened.

You need an emergency fund. The exact size is open to debate, but to start, it should be big enough that if a bill comes out in early at the end of the month or a paycheck arrives late, it isn’t a big deal. Not everyone can afford such a fund, but you obviously can. Building up several months of expenses would be ideal.

Cut back on activities by just a bit and you could build a savings easily.

I know not everyone thinks this is their job but what about if your kids want to go to uni? Can you afford that? Have you saved any money to put them through those education and living costs?

I think your employment history has a lot to do with this! Military background so a) secure employment b) a bit of a ‘spend today in case tomorrow doesn’t come’ attitude? and c) presumably rock-solid death-in-service and contingency benefits?

If you’ve always been able to cash-flow ‘emergencies’ like boiler etc then I can see why it’s not been an issue.

In contrast my DH and I have both tag-teamed redundancy at various points and it’s made me feel the need to keep accessible cash as well as a good limit on a credit card.

If I were you I’d set a target of some savings that would be useful e.g. £X months of salary and build up to saving towards that while cutting back a little to allow for it. You can decide how long it takes to save it up and still do all you like in the meantime.

I’ve always saved. Whenever I got a pay rise I would divert a bit of it into savings, so I never missed it.

For the first few years, I kept on having to dig into my savings when things broke and needed repairing. It seemed that as soon as I’d built up a few hundred quid (we’re talking 1980’s here) I needed to spend it.

Eventually it got to the point that I could pay for replacement windows from my savings rather than borrow. And then I could buy a car for cash rather than borrow. And now I’m looking forward to being able to retire early because there will be enough to bridge the gap until pensions come in.

I’ve still had holidays, days out, trips to the theatre etc. Clearly less than I would have done if I’d spent all my income, but still plenty.

Set up a standing order, start with a small amount each month, increase it gradually. It sounds like you’ve got enough slack that you could do that without too much pain.

pigletjohn I'm not sure if I've read the tone incorrectly but your post seemed a touch narky? For context, I served in the Navy for 22 years (hence pension), have a maths PhD (difficult to 'date') and I own my own business. My husband remains in the forces. I suppose it's those circumstances that have made me feel secure thus far...'good for you', well yes, good for me! I've worked hard and had some luck along the way. I'm always sorry that others haven't experienced the same and I'm also sorry if you have had difficulties with redundancy etc. It wasn't my intention to offend anyone with my post.

Someone mentioned uni and putting the kids through that-that's what the maintenance saving is for. I've never spent a penny of the boys' maintenance, it goes straight to a savings account as I don't view it as 'mine' or 'ours.' Uni should not be an issue if they want to go although, perhaps unsurprisingly, both want to join the military in different capacities which will help matters if that's what they choose.

Very grateful for the perspectives and will review things going forward.

I couldn’t live without knowing I had at least few months outgoings in the savings account, it’s been drummed in to me since I left home that it was important. It came in handy when I found myself out of work for a few months.

I can understand not everyone has the luxury of being able to do it, but if someone is living comfortably, I can’t understand why saving wouldn’t be a priority.