To contact school about this dinner lady?

[Poolrefusers]

We bought our house from someone who has since taken a post as a dinner lady in ds’s school. It is a unique property and was designed/commissioned (don’t know if that’s the right word) by the woman and her then husband and the sale was the result of their divorce – I think those details are probably relevant. Ds was pointed out to her by another dinner lady who is a neighbour (I assume – I can’t think of another way she would know him as we moved 7 years ago when he was a toddler) and has since made some comments to ds which I am starting to think are intrusive.

He has said several times that she has asked whether we may be selling the house as her adult dc would like to buy it. In the context of this she has mentioned how much she loved living there. She has commented on trees we have had cut down and how in her opinion they should have been left. Finally she has asked whether she can have some fruit off a fruit tree we have and has told ds how she planted it – at some length, or she has mentioned this several times. It’s in my head now because this afternoon I commented that this tree needs pruning and ds was adamant that it couldn’t be (think he thought I meant cut it down) as Mrs X would be cross and she wants some fruit etc etc.

I feel like this woman may be over-stepping the mark somewhat and am considering emailing the school when we go back to see if someone can have a quiet word. I don’t ever go there so a more informal chat isn’t possible. For ds to be thinking about this when he hasn’t seen her for a few weeks suggests to me she has made quite an impression and it isn’t just a one off light-hearted remark she has made. I don’t want to exaggerate and say she has scared him, but he definitely doesn’t seem to want to piss her off. He’s fairly timid and very well-behaved (at school!) and most dinner ladies are quite tough and I think she may have inadvertently (hopefully) put the wind up him, and I don’t think that’s fair. On the other hand I don’t want to seem silly or to cause trouble for her. But I would like the comments to stop now. AIBU?

It's highly inappropriate & unprofessional, contact the school about the issue & request she is spoken with. I believe she knows what she is doing. If it was sold due to divorce it's likely she never wanted to sell it & had to & hasn't let go. These comments could continue for years to your so and you don't want him to be more and more worried. This is a school employee issue so let them know what she's saying and the effect it's having on DS

Something needs to be done. Is your neighbour your friend? Could she have a word?
If not, I don't really see any other way than to email school.

I’m not one to usually take the word of a child at face value but on this occasion, even I would email the school. I’d tell them that the continual discussions about the house are unsettling your child and confirm that you don’t want her discussing this with your child as it’s not appropriate. If there were any further instances after this, I’d complain officially but hopefully a nudge from the school will shut this down.

It is inappropriate, and i think the school should be the ones to ask her to wind her neck in stop discussing the child's house. So yes, an email.

How old is DS though? 8 ish? I would also be upfront with him and say that this lady is 'being a bit nosey' (child friendly words) and that it's his families house now not hers. If he's shy he's not going to repeat your words in a stroppy way, but it might encourage and enable him to cut the conversations off if she starts again next term.

Her - ''house.house.house''
Son - (something like) ''Oh mum says i'm not to worry about all that''.