To be pissed off with the doctor?

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

DH went to see the doctor regarding a vasectomy. Both late 40s, two kids, been together forever.

Doctor has done her best to dissuade him, saying things might change, and sent him home with a leaflet for me on birth control. I haven't used hormonal contraception for several years as it made me feel lousy.

She has sold it to him on the grounds that it will help my peri symptoms....

AIBU to be more than slightly annoyed?

I seriously question the medical qualifications of anyone who thinks hormonal birth control is superior to a vasectomy.

YANBU.

We ended up paying privately for my DH (age 38) to have his vasectomy.

YANBU. She should just have shared info about the procedure with him, type of thing on the consent form, including the risks, which aren’t negligible.

Oh my life, yet another dr pushing it all on the woman, usually the mirena coil to
I'm so sick of women and families not being listened to in this regard, it is becoming increasingly common 😡
Are dr's advocates for the drug or the patient??

I’d be suggesting he make a complaint to see his reaction.

I’d be annoyed that he didn’t stop her when she tried to dissuade him and tell her his mind was made up? Are you sure he actually wants one?

YANBU, that's shitty.

To ask if your GP tries to ‘persuade’ you to have the coil http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3641325-To-ask-if-your-GP-tries-to-persuade-you-to-have-the-coil

Holy cow😲 If this had happened to me, I’d be making an appointment with the same doctor for myself and would be dragging my DH along. I would then tell her that we are there to talk about his vasectomy, nothing else.
Stuff like this really rattles my cage 😡

YANBU, that is so incredibly crummy (and bloody typical that the buck seems to have been passed right back to you as the woman ). I'd go back together if I were you.

That's appalling. When DH went to get a referral for a vasectomy, the doctor did ask him if I was on any hormonal contraception. When he said no, they did push him and he bluntly said "you don't have to live with her when she's on that stuff."

3 months later it was done. Definitely make a complaint

That’s utterly shit.

They should not even have discussed you. Why is hormonal contraception pushed so heavily?

Frankly, this would make me quite stabby.

You had 2 kids and probably took care of the contraceptive side of the relationship for years. Your husband wants to do his bit next and they try to push something else your way! WTF? That's completely out of order.
I would complain!

Did he mention your peri symptoms to her? Because if she brought that up, not him, then that's a breach of data protection, and given how shitty her behaviour was, I would have no issue with making a formal complaint

Christ you want to hear what they said to me? I’m telling you anyway!

I saw the consultant at the hospital to get approved after my gp urged me to be sterilised (I was begging anyway) due to my medical conditions.
She argued the toss with me for a full 15mins without me backing down that dp should have a vasectomy instead, all the whys and reasons it was safer and easier (cheaper) for him. I said to her, I might not be with him next year (obviously not planning to split) what am I gonna do, have any bloke I start seeing have a vasectomy?? My medical reasons are clear!
She had the utter NERVE to keep rubbing her baby bump (she was at least 30weeks from the size) and keep saying ‘really? You never want this again? You never want to feel the amazing feeling of your baby moving inside you??’
I got so mad. I told her either she agrees or I go back to gp and have them re refer to someone who wasn’t so unprofessional and about to use their own pregnancy as a reason to turn down other women’s sterilisations- and I make a formal complaint to pals. She got arsy and said her decision is final (what are you, god??) and I said I want a second opinion. She says her superiors will side with her professional opinion. I snorted at that. She left the room.

Next thing I know she comes in and angrily tells me her superior has signed off on it and she was going to formally try to block it. I said lovely, and I’m going to report you to your professional body for the way you’ve treated me.

Now what I didn’t know, was when she left the room, she went and started shouting in the corridor when the ‘superior’ consultant wouldn’t agree with her all kinds about my medical history and using my full name. Dp was sat in the waiting area and overheard the whole thing, right up to where the other consultant demanded she go with him to a private room as she was breaching patient confidentiality.

My sterilisation happened. I have severe spinal issues, and have fallen pregnant on the mirena twice. I was the ideal candidate for the op given my situation. I reported her too.

My point is, drs like others can be total arseholes. I’d do as someone before me says and make an appointment for him to see her and ask her why she felt the need to discuss your private medical issues with him thereby completely disregarding your right to patient confidentiality.

My GP is desperate for my DH to have a vasectomy! I can't physically carry anymore children, although I could conceive and he is convinced that a vasectomy is "what we need". My DH isnt keen and we're both happy with condoms (no more hormones for me thank you) but he was quite insistent for a while....
GPs are an odd bunch

My husband was given a vasectomy at 27, we had two children.

Ah yes that old chestnut. Sexism is still very much alive and kicking.

This really boils my piss. Like the time I was asked how my husband felt about the fact that we hadn't had sex yet at 8 weeks postpartum after my severe internal 3rd degree tear that almost killed me. My baby had also needed life saving treatment and we were barely out of hospital at that point. I still couldn't sit on the sofa without agony which I'd explained 2 minutes earlier.

It's a fucking disgrace.

My GP put me and dh off his vasectomy saying it was only a few more years until my fertility waned (I was 42 and pretty unwell, definitely not able to take hormonal contraception). I often wonder what the logic is.

If I had a pound for every time I heard this story I'd be sitting here in some very posh pyjamas.
Honestly, it's fine for us to carry on pumping our bodies full of hormones alongside all the risks that it carries and having taken a serious battering during pregnancy and childbirth, but for a man to have a minor procedure which can be carried out at the GPs it must be a last resort saved solely for when hell freezes over?? I mean wtf??!
Such bullshit.

In our trust I think it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to get a vasectomy on the NHS. It is a cost cutting measure - and that the female contraception is cheaper and more reversible. I find it ridiculous myself! Pushed back on women once again!

YANBU. My DH asked the GP about a vasectomy and was told "man to man, it's not a nice procedure" and tried to encourage me to take hormonal contraceptives or have a coil fitted my response was "woman to man, pushing 3 humans out your vag, tearing, being sewn up and having the world and his wife see you naked isn't a nice experience. That's without taking into account the 9 months of pregnancy and several months of emotional, mental and physical recovery afterwards"

Our GP jumped at the chance to give my DH a vasectomy at the age of 35. Our eldest was only 4.

He was warned he might have trouble though so he went in with a well-prepared speech that he launched at the doctor straight away, listing all the reasons why and how he was aware of the risks, etc etc! doctor referred him straight away and he was given the snip within 4 weeks!

More common than I thought then!

He mentioned the peri symptoms, not her. She did say what would he do if we split and he met someone else...fucks' sakes, cannot be on with that!

I am seeing a different (male) GP. Will be interesting to get his perspective - he has always been very reasonable/sensible

I'm going to make no apology that I will disagree with you all.

Vasectomy is an irreversible procedure, hormones are not. Clearly the doctor will need to be absolutely sure about proceeding with this method of contraception. Did she suggest you have a lap steri instead-no?! Normally couples wanting to pursue a permanent method of contraception visit a GP together so that it can be discussed-why didn't you go too? You are also relying on what your husband said- maybe he isn't actually that keen. Many men aren't. Vasectomy (whilst in the majority of patients is straightforward) carries a risk of chronic and irreversible scrotal pain of 2-8% of men. Finally perversely GPs are often criticised for offering vasectomy too readily as it is financially lucrative to do it- up to £360.

This is not a feminist issue and it is ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

COI- passing Doctor