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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think nanny should not read novel when with DS

76 replies

Lostwords · 13/08/2019 18:46

Our part-time nanny usually reads a novel while my DD has her nap. I know some nannies work at this time, but I don’t mind as I know childcare is tiring and I had a previous nanny quit because she found my too tiring, and I’m afraid of having another quit! But now, in school holidays my eldest is home from preschool so she has him too, as per contract. Today he mentioned that during his sister’s nap the nanny read her novel while he, in same room, played with his train set. He said it was for a short time, and he didn’t mind, though as he’s only 4 it’s hard to get an accurate picture. The rest of the day was busy: they did quite a big art project and also went to the park. It’s a fairly short day, 9.30-3.30pm. Hmm. Thoughts?

OP posts:

saraclara · 13/08/2019 19:17

Oh...and I deliberately chose a childminder for my children, because I wanted them to have the sort of day they'd have with me. So her taking them to the shops, visiting her friends, having a cuppa and reading a book or magazine between playing with them was perfect. That's exactly how I'd spend my day.

roxyroo89 · 13/08/2019 19:17

You sound like such hard work tbh.

CloserIAm2Fine · 13/08/2019 19:18

Glad you’re accepting the voice of the masses!

I think it’s good for all children to learn to amuse themselves (for age appropriate amounts of time and with appropriate supervision). He was playing happily, it’s not like he was trying to engage her or crying.

It’s also good for adults to model a love of reading.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/08/2019 19:18

I had a nanny whilst I was working from home (upstairs) to mind my two when they were quite young. I came downstairs for a cup of tea to find her in the sitting room writing in her diary and my toddler down the corridor in the kitchen reaching to pull things off the counter onto his head amid a pool of milk and eggs he'd taken out from the open fridge. She had no idea he'd left the room.
So I do think that if you are supposed to be watching young and active children, then within reason you should be watching them and not engrossed in a book.

prawnsword · 13/08/2019 19:18

Your nanny is teaching your son valuable skills in how to self entertain & not need to be played with constantly with adults. Not just that - Seeing adults enjoying reading is a positive thing surely! Kids who require constant attention from adults can be really tiresome in social situations.

The scene you describe sounds peaceful & harmonious.

juneybean · 13/08/2019 19:19

Breaks are a moot point for domestic workers.

But it'll do you ds good to have independent play.

Malvinaa81 · 13/08/2019 19:22

The nanny should be working at all times- reading for 15 minutes-absurd, couldn't she be mopping the floor or cleaning the toilets, just as the previous nanny was made to............

Talk about up your self.

Beautiful3 · 13/08/2019 19:22

I think it's okay while ones napping and the other is playing happily. She should have half an hour down time each day worked anyway.

Rachelover40 · 13/08/2019 19:24

Sounds alright to me. Everyone needs a break.

TheInvestigator · 13/08/2019 19:25

I think it's good. She gets a bit of down time, which is very important to keep her at the top of her game the rest of the day. He sees her reading which is really important. And he has half an hour in which he needs to entertain himself and come up with his own fun. That's so beneficial and so so important. Learning to manage their own amusements is a great thing for kids.

BarbedBloom · 13/08/2019 19:27

For 6 hours an employee should be given a break. I also think it is good for children to be able to amuse themselves for short periods of time and you mentioned your son is high energy. I wouldn't be bothered with this as you say she did a lot with them during the rest of the time

brassbrass · 13/08/2019 19:27

You sound like a nightmare. Pray she doesn't quit on you too and try to remember these people are humans and not automatons.

herculepoirot2 · 13/08/2019 19:28

What bothers you about it? Do you think she has to be playing with him all the time? Do you think that’s good for him?

Cherrysoup · 13/08/2019 19:31

I think it’s ok (and there are some ridiculous OTT comments on here!). I think a short breather for nanny and child is good. Being full on, interacting with the child constantly doesn’t allow him any opportunity to play alone/entertain himself. I believe that’s important for children.

Mitzicoco · 13/08/2019 19:32

I think your nanny sounds great. Good influence and all that. Mine fell asleep and snored throughout a film she put on last time she was here. My kids love her. (and they are a bit older)

converseandjeans · 13/08/2019 19:33

YABU kids are hard work so a short break of half hour is needed. Plus it's relaxing for your DS to chill while she reads. It also models good reading to your DS.

louise5754 · 13/08/2019 19:35

I'm sure you don't get a break if it's less than 6 hours. This is the reason all my shifts were 6 hours as any more they would have to pay me to have a break.

MidnightMystery · 13/08/2019 19:36

It's not like she's gone out to have a fag.
She was with the children, it's not a biggie.

louise5754 · 13/08/2019 19:38

I can't believe I stood there 6 hours not even allowed a drink or toilet break as there was only myself in 😲

To think nanny should not read novel when with DS

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/08/2019 19:39

I think it's good for children to see adults reading, and it's asa good for children to learn to entertain themselves.

As long as she wasn't sitting with her feet up all day with the kids shut in their bedrooms I wouldn't give it a thought.

LilQueenie · 13/08/2019 19:44

I don't see the problem. Do you not sit and do your own thing as your child plays? I didn't think a nanny was supposed to keep the kids entertained one on one for the whole time. It seems excessive. Would not bother me at all.

Bitlost · 13/08/2019 20:06

I think she sounds gr

Bitlost · 13/08/2019 20:08

I think she sounds great! Occupying them with big projects and teaching them to play independently whilst also acting as a god role model reading quietly. Lucky you.

Aprillygirl · 13/08/2019 20:41

She's reading a few pages of a book, while your 4yr old amuses himself for a bit, not shooting up heroin. I fail to see the problem.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/08/2019 20:57

baby was asleep

4yr should be able to play byself for 15/30min quite happily

nanny needs a break

ive done this as a nanny, was one for 20yrs

all employers said sit and relax/children can play by self/watch tv for a break

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