People getting irate when clearly in the wrong

[FireBloodAndIce]

AIBU to think there's more people around who get irate and shouty when clearly in the wrong? Or maybe this week has just been bad for them?

Just a few examples by what i mean by clearly in the wrong. No chance of being right at all.

Guy in tesco insisting their salad is out of date. Date is the next day. Storm off saying bitch under breath to confused employee.

Woman banging on nursery door when my friend arrives to drop off her dd. Friend is 15 mins early due to great fast bus. Decides to feed her dd snack. Woman still banging and swearing now. Friend asks if she's ok, woman goes off on one about late opening. Friend points out it's still 15 mjns early. Woman tells friend she's a liar. Friend points to opening times on door. Is told to fuck off cunt and woman storms off.

Person 1 going the wrong way down a clearly labelled 1 way street. Gets pissed off when when i, pedestrian, call to him in his van, genuinely i worried he hadn't noticed. Cars down both sides all facing the other way. He stops, tells me to mind my own business he knows what he is doing. Then gets absolutely irate, swearing and beeping when a car who has rightly turned into the road, comes around the corner. Shouts and swears gesturing at the other guy to reverse back round the corner and onto a busy 40mph road. Guy refuses, turns off his engine and sits there. Second car arrives behind 1st. Guy 1 still spitting and fuming, gets out his van. I walk down to new cars away from him and tell them i am calling the police as he's very aggressive. Guy 1 gets more sweary, woman in 2nd car is on phone already, so she's calling. Guy 1 kicks a parked car, gets in his and reverses down the road clipping a few mirrors.

They sound like very stressed people to me.

Their behaviour isn’t excusable but we don’t know what’s going on with them, they might be having a tough time in life.

Everyone goes through stressful times at some stage of life. This is not carte blanche to behave like an abusive dick to other people. Most of us manage not to. And the question of whether someone's having a tough time or not matters nothing to the strangers they abuse, and nor should it.

@ OP - Kudos to you for standing up to that bullying oaf. Behaviour like this should absolutely be challenged. The problem is, anyone doing the challenging should conduct their own mental risk assessment first, as sadly with things as they are these days your good deed could see you end up in a ditch.

I do agree that unfiltered aggressive behaviour is becoming more common. Roads are major flashpoints, as is travel in general. I've witnessed some horrors on trains in particular, which are full of drunk passengers at any hour of the day; on my last train to London the entire coach reeked of booze before 10 am. Gross.

Perhaps you are right. I know i get irritated and have to bite my tongue not to get snappy when my anxiety is bad.

The second two were so rude and nasty it makes me wonder if you are right or if they are like that all the time. Hard to know. It also shook up my friend to be sworn at and glared so aggressively in front of her toddler so i have trouble feeling for the lady there.

The first i suspect was just rude. He demanded the salad be reduced due to gone sell by date, then got rude when the lady wouldn't.

There does seem to be a lot more stress around though. Even in the very young. My teaching relative has said before how much pressure kids have and how much of a stress rise she's seen in them.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks thanks, to honest though i really thought he didnt realise and worried about him going the wrong way round the corner. I think the other guy driver was brave to stop and refuse to move (sensible too given the 40mph road and bend), i moved closer to those cars whe the first guy got aggressive as It did make me nervy.

There does seem to be a lot of road rage and I've seen people taking drinks from alcohol cans very early on in the day too. Usually when walking to town.

There are some genuinely unpleasant people in the world! IME whenever someone has reacted like you describe - although not as badly - a lot of it is down to embarrassment: they realise they are wrong, and rather than acknowledge that, they continue with their tirade. My DF is a great one for doing this: it's like if he continues to shout and huff then we will believe we are somehow to blame.

Everyone does have bad days but that’s no excuse to take it out on other people. People have less respect for others now and many think they can sound off whenever they want - and when they do they shouldn’t be challenged.

I know it makes me sound old and boring but it’s only going to get worse. A lot of people are really decent but many aren’t and we’re expected to make allowances for their bad behaviour because they may be having a bad day. Tough shit. The person being harangued might be having a bad day too. If you can’t be decent in public stay home.

a lot of it is down to embarrassment: they realise they are wrong, and rather than acknowledge that, they continue with their tirade.

Yes, I think that is often it. It is really hard to stop when they are mid-rant and switch into apologetic mode and they don't know what to do next.

You see it every day on the road. People who are blatantly, objectively, in the wrong and who start yelling and swearing at anyone who has the nerve to toot, flash or even hold their hands up in despair at the prat driving dangerously and causing them to brake or swerve.

All it would take is for an mouthed "EEEK I'M SORRY!" and a hand held up in acknowledgement/thanks.

I once got "reverse tailgated" (bonnetgated?) and repeatedly brakechecked for 20 miles on a motorway because I'd wanted to pass a man who refused to go faster than 50, AFTER the roadworks had finished. If I moved lane, he moved lane, If I slowed down, he slowed down. He actually swerved off (over the chevrons) when I left at my junction and I was genuinely planning to drive up to the police station when he finally did a u turn and went back on the 4-5mile bypass to get back to the motorway.

I wonder if he got home that night and felt proud of his actions that day.

"a lot of it is down to embarrassment: they realise they are wrong, and rather than acknowledge that, they continue with their tirade."

This is spot on, amen to the poster.

People are so quick to get in another person's face, because the act of doing that immediately stops them from having to acknowledge their clear and undisputable wrong.

In my job I deal with the general public. I can confirm that people are becoming angrier and less pleasant. There is a direct correlation between how angry they are and how wrong they are too.

It isn’t younger people who are most prone to losing their heads either, in my experience.

All it would take is for an mouthed "EEEK I'M SORRY!" and a hand held up in acknowledgement/thanks.

That's my automatic response when I make a mistake, rather than instantly looking for another person to blame. It does work very well as it sort of takes the wind out of the other person's sails quickly when they realise you've apologised and they have no reason to react badly.

mmm it's sad human nature I am afraid, lived with housemates like this- never cleaned up their mess and if I politely addresses it would get torn into...

Have confronted people over inappropriate comments made before and they get very defensive even though they clearly in the wrong. Bottom line is alot of people go into defense mode when they are corrected for their actions/behaviour. They seem remarkably unemphatic and unwilling to admit any fault when it is their mistake/bad bahaviour being pointed out yet the same people will gladly criticise others...

''They sound like very stressed people to me. ''

no they sound like pretty 'normal' behaviour these days.

My DH and I were recently on a bus. We got up and rang the bell and were standing right by the driver. He stopped at the next bus stop and asked if we wanted it. We said yes and he told us we should have pressed the bell. We told him we had and he pointed to his steering wheel and said we couldn't have as it doesn't tell him so there.

DH pointed out the illuminated sign behind the driver's cab said 'Bus stopping'. He didn't believe us so DH asked if he wanted him to photograph it to show him. The driver then went ballistic and said that he can't see that (it is meant for passengers) and ranted that he looks for it on his steering wheel. I ended up saying that we rang the bell, heard it ring, the sign proves we did and it isn't our fault if the bus has faulty equipment. I told him he needs to report it to the bus depot. He angrily told us it wasn't his fault. I told him it wasn't ours either.

It put a dampener on our day for someone to get into such a rage when nobody had actually done anything wrong.

Honestly, half the time people get aggro to try to deflect from looking like they were trying to deliberately get away with something (because they were) and they are genuinely pissed off that their cunning plan has been foiled. People are lazy, entitled, twats!

I help out with NT. In the summer we get mums bringing their children in with their bikes, it clearly says no cycling in the grounds but they can be quite offensive when you tell them their kids shouldn't be cycling. Usually they get the kids to push the bike till they think noones looking then off they go again. Same with dogs (not on bikes) policy is on lead other than in the area set aside for off lead. There are still those who believe it doesn't apply to them and can be quite abusive when you tell them.