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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has this forum jumped the shark?

170 replies

Havalina · 13/08/2019 03:26

I feel quite sad thinking this, it used to be so busy and enlightening. It just feels so crap and irrelevant now.

A mix of completely banal questions, troll fodder and behind the curve discourse 😬

OP posts:
pictish · 13/08/2019 08:03

Am I alone in going purely by thread titles in Active then? I never know what specific section of the forum I’m on.

Sparklingbrook · 13/08/2019 08:06

I just go from Active too pictish, I have so many topics hidden that Active for me is made up of stuff I might be interested in at least.
I don't really pay attention to what section the thread's in.

ShhhBeQuiet · 13/08/2019 08:09

wishihad. What a great post. 💐

notonthebeachrightnow · 13/08/2019 08:09

It’s not what it used to be, which I suppose is natural. Nothing stays the same.

I think we’ve been ‘had’ so many times (I’m using ‘we’ in a collective sense) by trolls and scammers that a lot of the warmth and trust have gone. Someone mentions they are broke and need advice for free entertainment with kids? Begging thread. Someone says their child is struggling to potty train? Pervert.

What I do really miss is the depth of discussion on current affairs and politics which just doesn’t happen now.

EleanorReally · 13/08/2019 08:10

yup, just read another odd thread.
i think people dont seem to have anyone else to talk to, some of the inane posts demonstrate this

MustardScreams · 13/08/2019 08:10

I agree! Before this thread would probably have witty replies, people actually giving their opinion and having a discussion. Now as the first few replies show it's just people being bitchy for the sake of it.

I used to proper belly-laugh to lots of threads, I haven't for years now. It's just sniping and bitchiness. It is nowhere near as good as it used to be.

SnuggyBuggy · 13/08/2019 08:11

It's not limited to MN, I've seen this on other forums but it's more dogmatic. As well as the posting guidelines and rules it's almost like every site has unwritten rules on what the correct opinions are that are just as important.

I mean things like how SAHMs are all victims missing out on years of career progression, MILs always mean well however shitty their behaviour and their relationship with their grandkids always beneficial, schools and teachers can do no wrong and must never be bashed, breastfeeding can only be discussed if we are willing to placate formula feeders that it's just the same and if in doubt LTB.

If you accidentally use the wrong terminology when talking about disability prepare to be jumped on even if it was an honest mistake and the post wasn't goady. Even after you've grovelled there will be people who can't be fucked to RTFT but just want to stick the knife in.

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of trolls and goady posts but the Biscuit us given way too liberally.

I remember 10 years ago reading actual discussions on online forums between people with very different views that would at least start off respectful even if it wasn't by page 20. Maybe it's the echochamber, we can't cope with different opinions without getting tribal.

I do agree the subforums tend to be better.

LoafofSellotape · 13/08/2019 08:12

Yeah, penis breaker was a turning point I think, there was a definite change after that.

I like the feminists boards and they're really important but I don't see a lot of support elsewhere, I would never post if I was a new mum needing help.

LadyHooHa · 13/08/2019 08:15

I'd never heard of jumping the shark either, so I don't think anyone can say it's a well-known expression. It's well-known if you already know it, I suppose. Confused

LaMarschallin, I was here during the Golden Hmm Age. Have in fact been on and off (with about 1,000 NCs) for 18 years. I had quite a long break at some point because I got fed up with it, and particularly fed up with what felt to me like playground cliques, with the Queen Bees talking in their own special language in order to exclude anyone who wasn't in their gang (the Nobdies). This involved them taking the piss out of anyone who didn't quite fit in with the oh-so-edgy bitchy and horrible vibe. So I just gave it a rest for a while. Then came back. I'd say there's now a mixture of good, useful, interesting stuff, and stuff that's a crock of shit. It is at least funny sometimes, and the 'ganging up' element has largely disappeared. Possibly because the site is so much bigger now.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 13/08/2019 08:17

Yes, I agree with you OP.

grumiosmum · 13/08/2019 08:18

Very long term user here. Parts of MN still work very well - just yesterday I got a very helpful answer to a very specific question.

The quality of debate in general though has definitely deteriorated. Lots of repetition, people slagging off family members, colleagues, schools, holidays and I personally really don't care for the numerous parking threads, with or without diagrams.

Also people are less supportive than they used to be.

Chosennone · 13/08/2019 08:19

It is very different to when i arrived 12 years ago. But so is the real world and so is our expectation online. It was smaller and i like that you could build a rapport with posters and 'knee' a bit about them. It feels huge now. In some ways that's a positive but in others it can feel a bit souless.

It seems a while since we've had a real classic thread like the Penguin park date one and booble plate. But the support i received on relationships was outstanding and i try to offer the same to others.

The Feminist board has honestly been empowering and ahead of the curve IMO.

pictish · 13/08/2019 08:23

Now I like a parking thread with a diagram. Grin
Those threads tend to be humorous and anecdotal in nature with expressive and warm responses...a parking thread brings out the imp in everyone. They are good fun.

ThighThighOfthigh · 13/08/2019 08:26

If you've been around a while the same stuff will inevitably come up. AIBU is entertainment mostly and not everyone is a skilled OP.

pictish · 13/08/2019 08:27

Agreed.

Anotherusefulname · 13/08/2019 08:28

I have been here since 2005 under various names.
The problem with mumsnet now is too many people trying to be part of the gang, in with the joke, so you get pages and pages of the same comment.
In the old days (if you can call it that) people were sometimes genuinely witty and you got a giggle but the majority of the time people were helping each other.
I can't pinpoint the 'jump the shark' moment, maybe it was penis beaker, I don't know.
What I do know is, that like every else on the internet, people here now try to hard to 'go viral' and so it has lost some of the genuine commeraderie (sorry about spelling) it used to have.

colourlessgreenidea · 13/08/2019 08:29

Some would argue MN jumped the shark with penisbreaker

And the CF/‘-zilla’ explosion, for which there is an insatiable appetite regardless of how ludicrous the set-up or rapidly escalating the drama.

WhyBirdStop · 13/08/2019 08:29

It’s a better forum for parenting advice, hands down.
Really? I've seen a lot of misinformation on nethuns, some of it dangerous, disguised as 'you do you babe, ignore what anyone else says'. Well ok but sometimes the official guidance is for the safety and well-being of your child.

AIBU can be brutal but the rest of the site is quite friendly. Media republishing things daily has meant more people name change frequently, including me. Work have strict policies around internet use/suicidal media, so I need to be anonymous. If you've been around a little while you start to pick up on who people are regardless of screen name though. I've had some really helpful specific advice on other topics and a lot of laughs on AIBU.

colourlessgreenidea · 13/08/2019 08:30

The Feminist board has honestly been empowering and ahead of the curve IMO.

Absolutely.

NoSauce · 13/08/2019 08:31

I think some people use it like their own personal FB page. Posting for attention and drama.

CarolDanvers · 13/08/2019 08:32

I don't think so. It's still at the forefront on discussions around things like trans issues and was discussing how problematic self ID might be before anyone else was. I still see amazing insights I wouldn't read anywhere else and it's always my first point of call for advice on anything from a stress fracture to a holiday destination.

It's meaner than it used to be and I know the response to that is always that people have been saying that for years but I have been here for ten years and the judgment and sneering and deliberate misunderstanding an OP in order to attack them is way worse than it used to be. There is a lot of disablism that would never have been accepted or allowed to stand even just a few years ago. Also seems to be a competitive morality and slavish adherence to social rules that just cannot be true because people are not perfect in the way so many present themselves to be on here. Always the same faces too but they have a big influence of the feel of the board. Luckily they mostly stay in AIBU but it does spill out.

So I still like it here but I would never start a thread these days because so many look for a way to attack and I can't be doing with inviting those people to comment on my life and choices when I don't think the response will be kind or genuine even if disagreeing.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 13/08/2019 08:32

I had thought jumped the shark was a very well known expression. Learnt something new!

I have been coming to MN in various guises over several years. It has changed. But then I think the entire internet as a social medium has. Twitter is another place that's changed immeasurably over the last 10 years from somewhere that was fairly supportive to what it is now (thoroughly recommend Jon Ronson's So You Think You've Been Publicly Shamed for a bit more analysis).
There is less warmth, people are quicker to castigate. MN has not been immune. Also agree this forum is more boring. But I still rock up every few months. Something keeps me coming back...

CarolDanvers · 13/08/2019 08:35

Sorry that first sentence should be I DO think so.

pictish · 13/08/2019 08:38

I think Mumsnet is very strong on relationship advice. The only thing wrong with it...and admittedly I have been guilty of it myself in the past...is when posters start getting a bit aggro at an OP for not immediately following their advice and dismantling their entire lives to LTB forthwith!

“So what are you going to do about it OP?” (chippy and superior)

I think we sometimes forget that the person seeking opinion is as enmeshed in their responsibilities and obligations as we all are.

Sparklingbrook · 13/08/2019 08:45

I do sometimes wonder at the wisdom of asking certain advice from internet strangers.