Shit Mum Guilt

[Fruitbatdancer]

Aibu? It’s that half way point of the summer holiday, I work full time. I’m constantly feeling guilty for going to work. I just took a long weekend to do fun stuff and now feel guilty for not going to work. But so. (5) cried earlier when I said I was going back to work tomorrow. It’s so bloody hard. Yesterday we were talking about the super fun day he had at the zoo last week (thanks to nanny!) and he cried and said I missed you at the zoo mummy why didn’t you come with me. Bloody heart wrenching. AIBU to think motherhood is just one long guilt fest.

You’re right. Just a guilt fest. Whatever you do. If you weren’t working at all, you’d be beating yourself up for not having money to do lovely things with your kids, or not going on holiday.

Radio 4 were talking about this today, one mum was on saying she’s taking a sabbatical for a couple of years from work while child care is so expensive. Seemed to make sense to me - so many say they couldn’t afford it but actually the costs aren’t so different and life is infinitely better for a few years?

Yeah, guilt and feelings of inadequacy. But also the most amazing journey I've ever been on.

The guilt is good. Means we care. Be kind to yourself x

Haven’t you got any leave over the holidays?

Yes, 4 days off at the very end. Can’t wait. But in meantime I just feel guilty at every turn. I work because I have to not because I love it.

My friend and I were discussing this the other day and we agreed that basically we'll never be truly happy ever again! (hollow laugh) There will always be something in the back of our minds that we should/could have done better or differently.

You are doing brilliantly, you obviously care for your child, and work hard for them. You are doing enough, we just all live with the mum guilt

Listen we are 6 weeks in here with 1 week to go. I work from home but only part time so am ‘available’ to the kids all the time. Dd especially still makes me feel crap - not in a spoiled brat way but just in a ‘oh can we do X Y Z before the end of the holidays mummy please?’ And I think no because I just cannot actually face doing something ALL OF THE TIME! Then I feel guilty because I’m here and dh is at work and I should be being a perfect lovely entertaining always patient mother. I’m
Definitely not.

Ah look sure as someone said above the guilt is there when you're hone too because you've no money to go anywhere!! Don't even have a garden so I've spent my summer in the f*ing playground.

It's not easy coming up with free things to do all summer. I'm well and truly fed up!