To think siblings should be treated equally or at least fairly.

[habibihabibi]

Sibling has had so many relationship failures, multiple "careers" and is very needy, financially and emotionally dependent .Behaves appalling toward parents often, lies, has committed fraud and lives in a fantasy world. Day to day it is like dealing with a 2 year old not someone nearing 40.
Parents have even had to abandon holidays abroad because of one of they many dramas that unfold/are imagined when sibling is "neglected".
We are pretty much NC after years of being taken advantage of.

Recently I discovered siblings mortgage has been totally paid off by parents who also pay a generous allowance to cover outgoings.

All this has been funded by the sale of a property which was given to parent and all siblings by a grandparents estate.

I am tired of my parents been taken for a complete ride and now this has happened ( is it even legal?) am livid that just because sibling shouts the loudest they get everything. No mental health probelms apparently.

Parents line is that sibling has had bad luck and we should all do what we can to help.

I think the answer is to ask for your share of the inheritance, equal to whatever your sibling has had thus far.

All this has been funded by the sale of a property which was given to parent and all siblings by a grandparents estate.

Oh, and no, it shouldn't have been. Contact a solicitor. Its not too late to force sale of your sister's house if necessary to recompense you.

Before thinking about legal action, calculate what you believe you are "owed" vs potential legal fees.

A good solicitor should be able to give you some sort of estimate depending on if you need to go to court vs being able to resolve via say mediation.

But bear in mind legal fees can often dwarf a potential inheritance and be protracted if all sides get legal representation.

If they have sold your share (a specified amount that was left to you as a named person in the will) thats illegal. Was your dad the executor?

I would get legal advice. But speak to them before doing anything formal. No excuse but they may not have realised how badly they have behaved, it almost sounds like they are scared of her. Then you probably have a tough decision to make, cause a family rift potentially doe ever or keep quiet about what's rightfully yours and let resentment grow

I have a theory about this. Competitive" parents, who like to think they have produced ultra successful, home owning, independent children, often give the less successful ones significant assistance, because it damages their image otherwise
This ^^
Her choices in life are an embarrassment for my parents.
Without their intervention she would have lost child custody ( another story all together) probably have served time and certainly not live in a large house.
BUT both I and my other sibling do not own our own property or share of now. It is just that we are out of sight and not exploiting our parents.

Ask parents where your share of inheritance is as you wish to have a home like DS.

''PIL have actually lied to DH about the help they have given his two siblings and then got caught out and tried to excuse it, then "forgotten" and started lieing about it again.''

It's not always fiancial stuff though that this happens in, I've witnessed parents fiancially spoil 1 child yet then shortchange them in other ways like treat them as less independent or reliable/trustworthy than others in the family or just have double standards nothing to do with money and this too causes resentment.

You really need to see a solicitor. Your father and sibling have literally stolen from you.

HavelockVetinari
I do . It's more than the money, my grandmother bequested for us all to have a place to have a family base.

My other sibling (who discovered the sale ) had emailed me the will details and it was actually to be shared by the three of us, with my father left another place and the remaining estate.
He thinks our best line of attack to pretend we don't know and ask our father if we can buy our CF sister out. Neither of us wants anything to do with her nor can I actually speak to my parents right now. I am livid and need to compose myself.

Mate, that's fraud. I presume your father was the executor of the will.

With her dodgy dealings, seems like Dsis didn't fall far from the tree.

Don't get so angry about this you just fume and do nothing. See a lawyer and take a tactful approach at first. Have a quiet word with other people in the family too.

Of course - but when is life ever that black and white?

Oh wow habibi. Why didn’t your father give her from his own money if he wants to be so generous.

This is unfair and theft. Id take action for sure. You are too nice

Hmm, you do sound very judgemental, so you've never had a 'relationship failure'? Also what is wrong with 'multiple careers'? at least said sibling is working.

It does genuinely sound as if your sibling has had poor luck, and you don't mention having problems of your own so maybe show a little generosity yourself instead of being so bitter.

Your parents sound loving and kind, and maybe they see your criticism as reason for helping other sibling even more...I agree that they shouldn't cancel holidays but they allow themselves to be treated like this and this is unlikely to change now. You mention that you recently 'discovered' sibling's mortgage has been completely paid off by parents...the fact that none of them were open with you about this suggests they knew you wouldn't 'approve' though it's their money and they can do whatever they like with it.

Maybe your sibling has more charm and kindness than you which draws your parents to them. I think you equate money with love which is why you are feeling unloved.

Of course it is legal, your parents can do as they wish with their money.

Desert

I agree OP sounds judgemental of her sister.

But I think the money doesn’t belong to the parents to give away, they had their own money and chose to donate OPs inheritance from her grandma. That would piss anyone off

DesertOrchid558
The money was from a unauthorised sale of a jointly owned property inherited myself, a sibling and the sibling in question.
Yes , I do judge. Her activities over the years have caused me other personal loss and strain.
I have had relationships fail but not because I broke the person.
There is no charm and kindness in fraud, child neglect, emotional blackmail, and false abuse claims.

It’s really shit isn’t it? My mother treats me and my sister very differently. (Bought her a house, free childcare, etc, She never even phones me, let alone visits) It bothers me less now because I am proud of myself for being fiercely independent. My sister is pathetic really.

habibihabibi
Please get independent legal advice.
You appear to have been wronged.