Over/under Catering

[itstrue]

We had an extended family lunch yesterday.

I was told that the lunch would contain chicken, coleslaw and buns. I was asked to bring buns and garlic bread for 11 people.

I provided 3 buns per person. Buns were a small hand size each and a small garlic bread per person.

One family member went on and on about how I had brought too much. So much so that I was really embarrassed and upset.

AIBU or is this an abnormal amount to bring for such an event?

Sounds like my In laws back in the day. They would invite 22 people for lunch and cook a chicken and a pan of roast potatoes. I always had a hearty meal beforehand and had sarnies in the boot for the kids.

My DM went on and on at Christmas about how we had brought too many sausages and almost refused to let us cook them all, even when I said that DDog would hoover up any leftovers. The reason we did it is because their idea of portion size is a lot smallest than ours and we wanted to make sure people had enough food. I think she was upset about the potential for waste.

I believe it's much ruder to under cater than have a bit of leftover food, so I would have been on your side OP. Rolls aren't expensive so better to have a few extra and keep them to the side so if not needed they can be used during the week.

Situations like that make me so tense. Portioning out food is miserable. If it’s a cost thing make a cheaper version. Add a big bowl of salad.
I wouldn’t have eaten anything, I just wouldn’t have wanted it.
You weren’t in the wrong.

I’m ibe of these people who can get 11 meals out of one chicken - but NOT at one time (soup made of the leftovers accounts for about 4-5), and NOT with this amount if sides. Even I would have used at least 2 chickens and a substantial amount of nuggets/nibbles.

You over catered by a lot.
They under catered by a lot.

Under catering is worse. You can use leftovers another day.

There is a lot of baggage with food. I'm in the category who would rather over cater as I'd be mortified not to have enough and don't mind leftovers. I prefer to lay it all out and let people eat as much as they want.

My MIL plates up everything including Christmas Dinner which takes the fun out of it IMO though the portions aren't too stingy. I reckon she was brought up not to waste food and feels she has to carefully work out exactly what's needed.

She hadn't done enough food and felt bad, so she attacked you.
Far better to over than under cater.

She was trying to deflect attention from herself to you.

This ^^

She woefully undercatered (so did chip person) and she is embarrassed as you brought the appropriate amount of food.

Yes snuggy my MIL does. Does the precise number of roast potatoes per person. If there’s any food left over after a meal it often goes in the bin!

I think I'd have done 2 rolls pp instead of 3, but I also think it's rude to complain about it and over catering way better than under catering! The others under catered so I guess sits she's to get right if you aren't used to it, I wonder if anyone complained to them about not enough chicken?

The thing about bread rolls is that you can use them for just about anything so they would hardly have gone to waste if you took half home.

Do you mean the snack size rolls/buns? They are pretty small and I can see why some people would eat 3.

Tbh I think 3 rolls each and also 1 garlic.bread per person is more.than I would bring though not massively. I think I'd have bought two roles each and maybe 6-7 garlic bread sticks so about half of one each . But I would also have expected there to be a minimum of of 3 large or 4 small chickens and also at least 2-3 bags of chips. Also I'd expect a couple of very large bowls of interesting salad ( not just lettuce !!) . That amount would probably leave you not massively under catered but the bread should be an addition not the main food event

It was lucky you did over do the bread a little bit to make up for the stingy portion of chicken and chips

Well chicken person significantly under catered. For eleven people I'd have brought four or five chickens, always best to over cater.

I'm just imagining the table with one small chicken and 33 bread rolls 😂
I think you overcatered somewhat but I don't think that's a problem, better to have too much than not enough.

This is why I can’t let people bring food to my house

I like to know everyone has enough (over cater but with things I can use later or are in the freezer to bring out it needed)

When you get people brining things it never works - you get people like the ops family who think one chicken will feed 500 or everyone bringing enough for the whole group but all doubling up on things that can’t really be saved (ie everyone bringing cakes for 20 people and no savoury options)

I would much rather people just brought drinks

Also - my pet peeve - if I am going to someone’s for dinner I think of it as a night off from cooking so don’t want to spend the day preparing things to take with me especially as I never (want) ask people to bring stuff to mine

......and breath

I think I need coffee - obviously grumpy this morning 🙈

She under catered. Simple
She was embarrassed and therefore tried to deflect attention.
Under catering is a major faux pas in my opinion.
I hosted a family barbecue last week. There was lots to eat and a good time was had by all. My sister in law constantly said that there was far too much food and said that I had gone ‘overboard ‘
I pointed out to her that when she had hosted the barbecue last year people went home hungry and I didn’t want the same thing to happen when I hosted.

What areyoubeingserviced said totally! She was embarrassed so tried to shift the spotlight onto you. The whole chicken to bun ratio was way off!
I would've cooked 3 chickens and rather have left overs!

Dont let whoever it was upset you. Whenever I cater I ALWAYS do too much. My family love it, I would rather have too much than too little. Maybe it made that person feel a bit guilty for being stingy. And why comment anyway ?. You cant do right for doing wrong with some folk.

Always over cater! Leftovers can be eaten the next day or so

The excess rolls just highlighted the lack of anything to put in them. Her problem not yours..you did right.

I would have done 3 chickens plus nuggets. You had a lot, but easy to freeze. Did everyone leave hungry?

Although I have eaten at people’s houses where they are controlling about food, yack on about how everyone eats too much in general.

I think some people forget that eating together should be fun. If you just want a roll with a slither of chicken and salad you can do that alone.