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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be really annoyed with DH over this?

2 replies

ProfessionalBullshitter · 11/08/2019 21:38

I need to be vague.

DH told a lie to one of his family about why we couldn’t come to a big family event and he made me the reason why. He said we had already committed to attending an event for one of my friends.

Except it’s not true. We’re really going to see another family member that the rest of the family is NC with (not for any serious reason - an in-law had an affair). DH didn’t want to come clean and ‘cause a drama’ so lied and used me as an excuse. And then told me after the fact.

The thing is, our DCs (7 and 9) will be coming to see NC family member too, and so will also have to either collude in the lie or blow DH’s cover. I don’t know if he even considered this when he opened his big mouth.

He thinks I’m overreacting but the more I think about it, the more angry I get. He’s doing it to spare a family member’s feelings (the cheated-on partner), so I kind of get it. But I am fuming about me and our DCs being dragged into it.

I know I’m going to be asked point blank about ‘my friend’s wedding’ and I’ve no idea what to do. Lie in front of my DCs? Or tell the truth and cause hurt feelings?

OP posts:
LemonAddict · 11/08/2019 21:41

If you’re going to be asked and point blank forces to lie then no.

I’d be telling DH he needs to come clean to the family member, and explain that he feels the need to lie about seeing the other family member to spare their feelings but that he won’t be doing that in future and they all just have to accept it.

JoJoSM2 · 11/08/2019 21:48

I agree. DH needs to sort it out. I'd be fuming too.

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