Popping round (lighthearted)

[chilling19]

From the Daily Mash www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/popping-round-to-be-made-a-criminal-offence-20190809188122

I do not like people popping in. I have seen other threads where mumsnetter's have said this and then been told they are unreasonable.

Also there was a recent thread where the OP entertained a 'popper round' on her drive when this happened, which seemed a bit extreme but, in a fantastically odd way, quite reasonable.

What say you?

thank god I'm such a bitch that no one has ever dreamed of popping in!

People dropping in for a cup of tea is lovely. It breaks up the working day, it makes me stop for half an hour. It’s a way of neighbours letting us know they are OK or to voice concerns they need support with.

Where we live it’s not too frequent but I really enjoy it on the days it happens.

I would never "pop in" and I hate anyone (MIL I'm looking at you) doing it. I only call on someone if it's been pre-arranged. It's a matter of courtesy. Plus I have Fibromyalgia and I may be resting so if hate for someone to drop in.

I'm so glad for this thread! I honestly thought that it was just me who hates the pop-in! To be fair, none of my friends would dream of doing this, they always text first. My MIL is the worst for it, I will get home from work,and there she is,sat in the drive waiting for us. The worst incident was when I'd handed my notice in at a job that was a disaster for my mental health...I'd had a harrowing week, and was just so happy it was the weekend so I could rest...and she not only showed up unannounced, but she brought a suitcase and stayed for the weekend (she lives 25 minutes away)! If she was helpful, it would be fine, but she waits to be offered food/drinks, etc instead of helping herself.

I’m with @CherryPavlova, amd I’m very glad I don’t live in Mumsnetland

I think it depends on the set up you have with friends/family.

In mine and dh family and within are friends group, you can pop in whenever you like we all love having visitors. You will always be offered tea/coffee/wine and something to eat

Luckily where I live nobody just pops round. However, my oldest friend has an annoying tendency to ask me to 'pop round' for a coffee and will give me a few hours window on a weekday when I can pop in. She seems to forget that I work several jobs and live 45 minutes drive away! But because she has kids (she's a SAHM) and I don't and I'm self-employed, I must be able to pop round at her convenience.

In this day and age, with so many ways of keeping in touch with people, there is no excuse to "pop in" unannounced. It takes 2 minutes to call/text/WhatsApp.

I'm very possibly BU here but I even get annoyed at an unplanned FaceTime / video call - usually the place is a tip, I'm in the middle of something, have no make up on or all three!

ELM8 Why do you need an excuse? People can always say they are busy or about to go out.

Where we live you cannot text. Our neighbours wouldn’t have heard of WhatsApp let alone use it. We certainly don’t WhatsApp friends. I’m not surgically attached to my mobile phone so wouldn’t usually have it with me unless I’m going out.
It’s nice. Neighbours go for a walk. They see I’m in. They tap on my study window. I put the kettle on.
Occasionally it’s walkers, artists or cyclists who need something. It would be churlish not to offer a telephone, a tea or a water bottle refill.
Sometimes they just let themselves and call out that the kettle is on. Friends driving past might decide to drop something off or just see about a quick coffee. It’s not every day, it’s rarely more than one person/couple a day. It’s nice.

It’s nice. Neighbours go for a walk. They see I’m in. They tap on my study window. I put the kettle on.

I can see how this might be nice if your life is structured so that you get sufficient peaceful time to do all your work even if there are unplanned interruptions; and if you genuinely enjoy chatting and welcome the interaction.

Peaceful work time is something I never get enough of, and my work is pretty immersive. I’m often worried that I’m not going to get through enough in a given day; I often have to work into the night to catch up, after the dc are in bed. So people tapping on my window and disturbing me while I work would really set me back. I’d also think it really rude!

Oh my! I didn't realise how much of a minority I was in.
I love people popping round!

In my old house I used to leave the back door open (We had a dog so it worked for him too). Any of my friends used to know that if the door was open they were welcome to walk through it and day hello.
Sometimes we'd have a brew, sometimes even stay for dinner.

These days I can't do that in my new house for practical reasons but would happily accept Popping in by any of my friends.

Unusually text friends first if I want to pop to theirs. I am aware that not everyone likes being dropped in on unannounced but didn't realise it was hated by so many.

In this day and age, with so many ways of keeping in touch with people, there is no excuse to "pop in" unannounced. It takes 2 minutes to call/text/WhatsApp. There are still places (particularly in hilly areas with deep valleys) where people actually live which don't have mobile phone coverage.

@CherryPavlova

It’s nice. Neighbours go for a walk. They see I’m in. They tap on my study window. I put the kettle on. Occasionally it’s walkers, artists or cyclists who need something. It would be churlish not to offer a telephone, a tea or a water bottle refill.

Sometimes they just let themselves and call out that the kettle is on. Friends driving past might decide to drop something off or just see about a quick coffee. It’s rarely more than one person/couple a day. It’s nice.

Umm OK then. I If this is actually true, I am DEFINITELY glad I don't live where YOU live. I would find that very intrusive and weird. Every day some one in your neighbourhood turns up, pops the kettle on, and sits there in your house? And random nobodies turn up on their bikes and you let them in and feed them and give them drinks?

Yeah OK then........

I have also noticed a running theme on threads like this...

The people who don't mind 'poppers-in' (who are usually 'poppers-in' themselves,) don't like other people having a different opinion to them do they?

The other side of calling round on the off-chance is that it's quite likely there'll be no-one there, or they'll tell you they're busy.

Why not just text and find out first-save yourself a wasted journey!

I hope some poppers read this thread and decide to change their evil popper ways as a result .

I like people coming round. I'm very sociable but I like a text/call first. My house is usually visitor tidy but I'm not. I like hanging about in my pants or pyjamas and I don't feel myself if I'm looking a slob and my visitor isn't.

zeezee3 It’s lovely here. I think I said it doesn’t happen ever day. Today, for example, it’s pouring down so nobody out walking.
Why would I not let my elderly neighbour pop the kettle on while I finished a call? Everyone does; I don’t recall the last time I knocked on a door. It tends to be call out as you open the door. Most back doors open into the kitchen or rear hallway so your not very likely to be catching someone climbing out of the bath, are you?
We share garden produce too so sometimes they arrive with a trug full of freshly picked goodies. Generally, they’re much better gardeners than we are and even in their late seventies and eighties keep a very neat and productive kitchen garden.
Would you seriously not help someone who had a puncture, who was lost or who felt unwell but had no mobile phone signal? I’m not sure I’d want to live in your world. They tend to come to us as we’re nearest to the well in the village centre and have the shortest drive so easiest to see someone is in. How much effort does it take to point someone in the right direction or to offer a cup of tea whilst they wait for a lift? The hikers and cyclists tend to be quite nice people as do the DofE youngsters. A sad world indeed when we can’t or don’t want to help our fellow humans. Has the world really become that selfish and introspective?

For the record, I would suggest someone coming any distance call first as it’s a long way to come to find us out. Similarly, I’d usually call friends or family who were a distance away to save a wasted journey.

I like Poppers-in.

When I moved from Yorkshire to Birmingham I couldn't get over the formality and (to me) unfriendly feeling of "You may come for coffee at 2.00pm on Thursday week" when I was used to people knocking at the door. It really affected me and made me feel very friendless.

Fortunately where I live now popping in is perfectly acceptable amongst our group of friends. It doesn't happen that often, but you know that if you need a chat with someone for whatever reason, it's fine to knock on their door.

Recently some friends have been having a difficult time and I would hate the thought that I wasn't there for them when I was needed most.

CherryPavlova I hope you live near me. You sound like my kind of person!

I love the idea of how it was in the olden days before telephones etc. Popping in often involved taking a pudding, and or several forms of public transport.

I hate poppers in though. I lounge around my house without a bra, unwashed, old clothes etc. I don't always have basic things to make a visitor comfortable (milk behind the main one, and I'm not keeping a pint just to go off on the off chance... nor am I serving disgusting powdered or long life stuff!).

My home is also my castle. By which I mean place I enjoy not having other people in 😉 it's my bolt-hole away from the world. I like people, I'm sociable really, but I feel drained when peopling isn't on my terms.

I think it's totally about where you live. E.g. London lifestyle is very insular. I'd never dream of popping in on anyone. However where my family live in a village in the west of Ireland, it's totally normal to pop in. Its not even really a social call. I.e. my (older generation) cousin might just let himself in and drink some tea or whiskey, sit there with us and not even necessarily say anything, then on his way. It would probably be weird/rude to not drop in on family when you're going past.

It's probably to do with a different 'pace of life', and a different idea of community.

We live on a yard so always have people popping in for a cup of tea. I enjoy it when the house is tidy but I do cringe when the house is a mess or I’m having a bad day and in my pjs (work from home with a young DS). Having said that my MIL did walk straight in one time when I was walking around completely naked. That shocked us all! They always ring before turning up now...

Poppers aren't a problem if you text me first, then I have time to finish wiping the blood off the bathroom walls, hide the body and cover the freshly dug shallow grave on the patio with AstroTurf.
Really, you have no idea what you are interrupting.

My elderly NDN has taken 'popping' to a whole new level. if the back door is open to let some fresh air in (no windows just a patio door) then she'll knock once and walk right on in, no matter how many times I've told her not to she still does it...she has no MH issues btw way she's just a rude arse!

I’ve found my people! My parents, grandparents, aunts, in-laws etc all think it’s acceptable to pop in unannounced... It seems as though I was the only one in my family to think this was rude. I had to say something when my grandparents popped over unannounced when DS was a few weeks old and then moaned about the state of the house... then another time after that they popped in just as we’d served lunch (12 noon) to our toddler and then questioned why we were giving it to him so early ?! Before we had DS I found my in-laws in my garden at 7am on a Saturday morning inspecting my flowers we hadn’t watered (or asked for !) both of them were told if they could give us a bit of notice before coming, both took massive offence to this and never did it again (or had quite the same relationship) - I never ever would do this! It’s so rude!