To think this question is weird and out of order?

[Informat]

My sister is pregnant with her first baby and we're all really pleased for her. I've finally been allowed to tell people this week, and two different people have responded with 'is she keeping it?'

AIBU to think it's beyond weird and actually be a bit pissed off about it?

I'd agree op. That's just a weird and rude response. Normal folks would say oh congrats, you're going to be an auntie, when's it due.

Because as you say, if you're telling folks it's highly unlikely to be because she wishes to abort.

It is weird, maybe it’s the choice of words, i.e. she’s pregnant rather than she’s having a baby, although to be honest that still wouldnt really explain it. Some people just don’t engage their brains.

I couldn't imagine anything more horrible than parenthood. I was genuinely astonished to find out he felt otherwise about it

Unless you live under a rock you must be aware that people plan to have babies and actively want them and you're in the minority, so why thr astonishment?

I wonder what the thought process behind it is.

I think that's the point, there isn't much thought behind it. I like to imagine they are quietly horrified a beat or two afterwards, when they realised what came out of their mouth.

Unless she's under 21, a full time student or similar it seems odd, has she told people in the past she doesn't want kids?

Some people just like the sound of their own voice I think. Ignore them. for your sister.

Unless she's under 21, a full time student or similar it seems odd, has she told people in the past she doesn't want kids?

She's 27 and has a full time job. No, she's always wanted kids. I can't believe from this thread that there are so many people whose natural reaction to a pregnancy announcement isn't 'ah that's nice, congratulations'.

It is well weird and yes it's out of order.

However my BFF and her then-fiance went to the local priest (Catholic church) as they had their wedding booked for a certain date, BFF fell pregnant and was due on the wedding date. They went to rearrange it for several months after with the priest.

One of the first things he asked her when she said she was pregnant and wanted to rearrange the wedding was "are you keeping it?" - the CC is against abortion.

So she left with fiance and they went and organised a civil ceremony much to the disapproval of the priest but she was disgusted at him asking that. She always wanted children anyway and the thought of aborting the child never crossed their minds.

The question is totally out of order in all circumstances unless the woman brings it up herself but in that case, she may not tell people she is pregnant anyway

That is SO rude, I'd tell them to piss off

For me (26) it was 'was it planned?' over and over and over as if its anyone's fucking business. If anyone had asked me that question though I would have told them where to go.

I find “oh how lovely - congratulations” works for pretty much all pregnancy announcements.

The exception being “oh shit - I’m fucking pregnant” - in which case I go with “oh dear”.

I think this is to do with your termination; certainly with the first woman. Did she say "is she keeping it?", which implies (to me) that she's checking out whether your sister is just like you in having a termination. Yes it was a dig at you.

The second woman may be a friend of the first, or similarly disapproving of terminations.

Unless the person who tell me shes happy shes pregnant i always ask very delicatly if its happy news. I wouldnt want to get excited for them or be enthusiastic if the next part of it means actually its bad news. Happened to me when i was pregnant and i saw someone i knew on the ward duribg my prolonged labour. Unfortunatly she was there as shed found out late into the pregnancy that the medication shed been havibg had damaged the baby so much she had to have a termination. She only found out she was pregnant at 5 months and it was too late. Now i dont jump to conclusions. But once they say yes its great news i show loads of happiness so they dont think i was being weird about it before.

What I find a bit insensitive is when someone posts a 'can you see the line' thread without saying that they actually want to be pregnant and someone else comes along and says 'Yes, I can see it, congratulations!'. Congrats may very well not be in order!

I think it's maybe the In a long term relationship** bit.

I had the same thing from my brother I was in a long term relationship with my partner. Announced pregnancy after being together for 7 years and owned a property together / lived together for 5 years. Was aged 35 and my brother reacted as "I'm really shocked. I didn't expect that. Erm was it planned? "

Where as other people in my family all seem to meet get married and have a baby within a few years. So maybe it was I took more time or just the old fashioned view you should be married first And no I don't feed a MN lecture on why I should be married when having kids thanks in advance !