to think adults can have catch ups that doesnt involve clubbing

[Boots20]

I have a small group of friends & suggested we had our next catch up over dinner or coffee or cinema they looked at me like I was mad & laughed it off saying no we need a proper night out. Every catch up has to involve clubs/pubs/partying. This is once every few months (we dont see eachother in between) I'm in my 30s with 3 kids one has ASD & I am literally exhausted the last thing I'm interested in is trailing around pubs drinking & waking up the next day to a hangover, I have health anxiety & hangovers are pretty horrendous for me for a few days after I feel massively guilty & convinced I'm dying. I've been added into a group chat all discussing the next meet up &, of course it's a saturday night out in town. I'm not going I'm just done with pointless drinking sessions where you can barely even have a conversation. I dont understand why going for lunch or a coffee in a quiet cafe is basically laughed at!

Aibu to prefer reading a book on my Saturdays with a take away or few glasses or wine? Or going for a nice meal with OH. Maybe I'm getting old but the whole drinking into the small hours just doesnt appeal to me anymore & really think I'm out growing my friends they just aren't interested in any girls nights that doesnt involve partying now :-(

It's not going to be much of a catch up if you can't hear each other over the music.

YANBU for not wanting to go and not enjoying it, similarly they ANBU for enjoying it.
However it does seem like your alignment to the group has changed, and perhaps less in common now? If they’re not willing to compromise on one occasion, say a meal and a few drinks rather than just drinks / clubbing. then I’d consider distancing myself from them.

YABU when I get the chance to go out I want to party until morning. I want to hang out with my mates, not chat about our kids over a cuppa. Unless someone has some really interesting news, a catch up is the same old stuff anyway.
They have different preferences from you, I don’t think it’s fair to push your preferences on them.

Aibu to prefer reading a book on my Saturdays with a take away or few glasses or wine? Or going for a nice meal with OH.

But these don’t involve your friends?

Why not suggest a meal first like a PP said. Then they carry on to bars and clubs and you go home.

I'm out growing my friends

Nailed it in one.

Friends do evolve and change throughout our lifetimes—the best ones will always reappear, though.

I feel very much the same. I enjoy a pub but more for a lunch and an afternoon drink and still home at a reasonable hour. Agree with others tho about suggesting a dinner followed by drijks and just leave after the meal. Or maybe one of those bottomless brunches?

Yanbu, I'm 31 and well outgrown clubs. I like going to the odd pub or bar now and again but I haven't wanted to be in a club for about 7 years.

You do t have to drink

As PPs have said, why can't you go and not drink? I used to go clubbing without touching a drop. I enjoyed it and no hangover.

Thanks for the advice everyone, will defo suggest food then drinks & I'll slink off after dinner :-)

When I have catch up with friends it is always over lunch between 12-30 and 2pm at a local eatery.
Forget clubbing and cinema.
How can you possibly catch up watching a film or having loud music blasting in the background.

Clubbing doesn't appeal to me at all. I agree with others, compromise by having dinner first and then they can go on clubbing after if they want to