Aunt is not nanny

[cadpig22]

So name change as people involved definitely read the daily fail.

So my dad ran off with my aunt (my mum's brothers wife) and are now married.

My nanny died last year. She basically helped raised me especially when my parents were going through the very very messy divorce.

My dad has been trying to bully me into my kids calling my aunt as nanny or nana.

My nanny hated this woman (and my dad) for breaking up both her kids marriages, and all their awful behaviour towards me, my sister and two cousins. I have pointed out that that my mum is nanny, that any granny names are for my husband's side (as it is sentimental to them) so I even tried to come up with something different for her.

Nope they tried pushing it. I'm pissed off as this is the name of someone who means the world to me. But that is exactly why they want that name for her.

Bit lost in what to do. I've only just started talking to my dad again over this for him to send a big box of presents to my daughter all with Grandad and nana "aunt" on everything.

I'm sorry. I know it sounds silly over a name but it is clear that my feelings don't matter to them and if I am going to honour my nanny in anyway, it is making sure only my mum has this special name. Also if I can't trust him on such a small issue, which I have tried to find an alternative again and again to their liking, how can I trust them with my kids.

Just refer to her by her actual name. My husband had a step dad and he didn't want to call him dad, so he called him by his name. His mum has since passed on and his step dad has a new partner. Our children call him grandad. We have already discussed that even when they get married the children refer to his girlfriend by her name.

Agree with PPs. You have the control here, thankfully. As long as you refer to Aunt by whatever term you are happy with, that is what your children will think of her as.
Your father has no power over this. Remember that.

She was your aunt by marriage. She chose to stop being your aunt when she ran off with your dad. I understand they had feelings for one another but they chose the cowards way out. There are many consequences to this. I agree with bluntly stating what CalmDownJanet has said.

I really don’t think you need to worry about this being picked up by any journalists!

"Its not Nana, it's Great Aunt, what with her being my uncle's wife, you pathetic bastard"

I would call her Aunt Mary and him Grandad. Don't ever refer to her as Nana , ever. Your children will pick up on what you call her.

Yanbu. No way would I disrespect your nanny to give this woman the title.
Your Dad sounds selfish, I bet he sent all the gifts and renewed contact as they wanted to be dear nan and gramps.
Great aunt is a good one or marriage wrecker is a good one.

Lol one of my friends suggested calling her Queen to be sarcastic but I pointed out she'd probably enjoy that and think it was complimentary

Maybe you could call them Grandad and the Other Woman (or Ow). Why bother using her real name?