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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really upset with my cat

226 replies

elprup · 11/08/2019 08:00

I adopted a young male rescue cat last summer. He’d been living stray and had a difficult start in life, so I thought I was doing a good thing.

About six months after letting him outside he began catching quite a lot of mice, which although not ideal, I could just about cope with.

However, he has now moved on to birds and has caught about four in the space of two weeks. I’m so, so upset by it.

This morning he came into my bedroom for a snooze and then went outside into the garden. I went down about 20 minutes later to find him in the kitchen with another dead bird in his mouth. I can’t believe he’s managed to kill another one just 20 minutes after being let out this morning.

He’s a lovely cat apart from this but honestly, I’m really regretting adopting him now.

I’m considering a collar with a bell but have read they can cause injury to cats if the quick release mechanism fails or doesn’t work fast enough.

I just hate to see all these lovely birds being slaughtered. What can I do? Sad

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Crochetymum · 11/08/2019 08:17

Also,.try not to be upset with him for being a cat doing cat things.

Waytooearly · 11/08/2019 08:17

My darling little cat does this. I agree it's upsetting when you have to deal with a little injured bird but you can hardly get angry at a cat for hunting.

Agree, get a collar with a bell.

MrsFrankDrebin · 11/08/2019 08:19

You do know cats hunt, right? Some are just better at it, and you have an expert. We have 4 cats, but only 2 of them regularly come home with something for the family larder (that is one of the accepted psychologies behind them bringing it home to you, rather than just eating it - they feel so much part of your 'colony' they are helping feed it).

Actually, your vet will tell you that if they also eat what they kill, it is doing their teeth the power of good. A cat who regularly hunts and eats the prey is a cat with clean teeth - think of it as the natural way of avoiding a bill for regular teeth cleaning under anaesthetic for you cat.

Finally, just don't let the cat have easy access in/out of your house if you don't want the mess inside. We don't have a cat flap. The cats are let in/out as and when - sometimes we leave a window open in the kitchen, or the back door open, but only when there's someone here to monitor their comings and goings (I don't mind when they kill it outright, but when it's still alive and can 'escape' further into the house... nuh-uh!). So we either get the gifts left on the step, or - more likely - see the bits of innards left behind the next day when it's been eaten!

But in summary YABVVVVU to even want to change a single thing about your cat. You cat doesn't want to change you - it clearly thinks you're a wonderful owner who have given him a wonderful home. Just take some steps to keep the kills outside, and spend the money you won't need to spend on vets bills for his teeth on a treat for yourself!

lazylinguist · 11/08/2019 08:19

I find it a bit odd that you're so surprised and upset by this. It's what cats do.

Shouldbedoing · 11/08/2019 08:19

Get him a bell. Keep.him.in at dawn and dusk in summertime if you are able. Cats hunt best in low light.

MereDintofPandiculation · 11/08/2019 08:21

In my experience their desire to catch things (or maybe just their ability) declines as they approach cat middle-age. It won't be like this for his whole life.

elprup · 11/08/2019 08:21

He’s a cat; it’s nature and completely normal. Did you think about this before you got him?

I did expect a few mice killings, but because my childhood cats never seemed to catch birds it didn’t really cross my mind that he would. I’m in a big city and we don’t get a huge amount of birds around here anyway. I think like others have said, the fact he was previously a stray might have given him a higher hunting drive, although he certainly doesn’t go hungry at home (quite the opposite!)

Of course I’m not really going to rehome him - I just feel really upset for the birds. I do regret getting him a bit because of it.

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Kanga83 · 11/08/2019 08:22

He's a cat! And he sounds lovely. Be pleased he is so settled and secure with you that he is in his way providing for you. I'm vegan and kept cats. Yes it's sad and I didn't like it but it's a cats instinct and he hasn't done anything bad as a cat. You say you eat meat, believe me your cat is far more humane with his killing compared with the farming industry and abattoirs (not a lecture, just more to realise the cats instinct vs human choice). Does he have a collar? If so attach one with a bell. The hunting will slow down with age.

H2OH20Everywhere · 11/08/2019 08:23

As pp said, he used to be a stray. How else do you think he survived in the wild?

Why don't you set up a monthly it direct debit to the RSPB to assuage to your guilt? But don't blame the cat - if he wasn't such a successful hunter he'd be dead long ago.

fromthefloorboardsup · 11/08/2019 08:24

If you're a meat eater you're being very unreasonable. It's what cats do, they're carnivores and hunters, it's like being upset with him for sleeping a lot.

Do you eat duck or chicken or turkey? If you do, why is it okay for someone to kill these for you but not okay for your cat to kill them?

LaBelleSauvage123 · 11/08/2019 08:24

Our cat’s hunting was reduced hugely by the bell collar. Just go for a good quality one and test it before you buy. She hardly brings anything in now she’s older - they do slow down as they age.

EatDessertFirst · 11/08/2019 08:24

I have four cats and three of them hunt. One brings back his little treats alive (apparently, this is him encouraging us to kill them ourselves - not sure how true that is!), the other two bring back dead things to give to us. As a PP said, they believe they are feeding their family. Everything they bring back, they generally eat themselves.

You can't be angry at your cat for being a cat. I'm surprised you are that upset by it as its normal feline behaviour. Get him a collar and bell if you think it will help. My four always shed their collars one way or another. Or get rid of him to a family that understands cat behaviour properly if you can't get past it. Bit silly to even have a cat with your sensitivities really.

prawnsword · 11/08/2019 08:26

I bet you eat chicken without a second thought as to what goes in the abbatoir Grin

Is there a problem why you can’t just keep him indoors if it bothers you ?

This is why am a dog person, I don’t like the predatory aspect of cats. It’s why a cat will eat it’s dead owner but a dog will lay beside your body faithfully. It sounds like what you want is a dog not a cat

Mileysmiley · 11/08/2019 08:26

It is a cats nature to catch stuff and there is nothing much you can do about and believe me I have tried several times.

I love my cat dearly but he has started to catch frogs which scream loudly all the time ... I am forever chasing around the garden trying to rescue a frog. Frogs give off a nasty tasting liquid which he hates but he still catches them.

elprup · 11/08/2019 08:27

Safety collars release instantly if they get caught.

I know they do in theory, but I’ve read a number of horror stories on MN and other sites where the collar has failed and the cat has been seriously injured. If I were to get one I’d need to be 100% sure it would work correctly (99.999% isn’t good enough, obviously!) and I’m not sure that’s possible.

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OpportunityKnocks · 11/08/2019 08:27

Off topic, but if he's eating wild animals, keep on top of his worming :)

ChildminderMum · 11/08/2019 08:28

Clearly ridiculous to be angry with a cat for being a cat.

I don't have a cat flap to avoid the problem of birds/mice being brought in.

Bridget1983 · 11/08/2019 08:28

One of mine once brought a live bat in!
Your boy is just trying to provide for you bless him - his “catch” rate will probably slow down over time and he’s not being mean, just what cats do!

AnnaMagnani · 11/08/2019 08:30

He's a cat and a rescue cat - what was he living on while he was a stray?

If you don't want presents in your house, keep the backdoor shut and don't have a catflap, just train him that there are indoor and outdoor times and keep him in overnight. Dawn and twilight tend to be peak killing times so if he is in then, you can cut down on the killing sprees.

To be really upset with my cat
elprup · 11/08/2019 08:30

Why don't you set up a monthly it direct debit to the RSPB to assuage to your guilt?

Thanks - I like this idea!

This is why am a dog person, I don’t like the predatory aspect of cats.

When growing up we had a dog that would regularly catch rabbits!

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Mileysmiley · 11/08/2019 08:32

@prawnsword

Dogs will eat anything, dead people, poop, margarine, chocolate (which is poisonous) underwear, tennis balls, mouldy food ... I could go on. Cats are much more fussy but mine once carried a dead squirrel back to my house and put it on the door mat ... I was really upset because I love squirrels and called him a murderer ... which didn't bother him at all because it is his nature to hunt and kill.

PolkaDotted · 11/08/2019 08:32

This is why am a dog person, I don’t like the predatory aspect of cats. It’s why a cat will eat it’s dead owner but a dog will lay beside your body faithfully. It sounds like what you want is a dog not a cat

Nonsense. Dogs will eat you too. Any starving animal(and humans have been known to do the same) would and why shouldn't they? If I'm dead I'd much rather my pet ate me and lived than lay there gazing mournfully at my corpse and starved too. I'm only going to rot so it might as well tuck in.

badamsgirl · 11/08/2019 08:32

Cats are wonderful, but yes they do hunt and often kill-it's in their nature. It doesn't detract from them being lovely pets. I have two boys and one in particular is very skilled at hunting and we often find him in the garden with a bird in his mouth looking very pleased with himself. It's not particularly nice, but it's a normal cat thing that you'll be hard pressed to stop unless you happen to have an indoor cat.

Branleuse · 11/08/2019 08:33

Its summer. There are loads of small animals to hunt. It usually wont be a year round thing but in summer there are easy pickings. Put a bell on him or just leave him to it

elprup · 11/08/2019 08:36

Do you eat duck or chicken or turkey? If you do, why is it okay for someone to kill these for you but not okay for your cat to kill them?

Yes, and I already admitted up-thread that it does make me a massive hypocrite! I was just so upset to see yet another beautiful songbird killed.

In response to the poster who suggested keeping him indoors - I don’t think that would be possible as he just adores going out. I think he’d be very frustrated if we suddenly stopped him doing that.

We do keep him in overnight, although aren’t there less birds around at night? Perhaps it would be better to let him out then.

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