Going to try and keep this brief!
Met DP 15 years ago, have 2 DC. DP smoked when I met him, and I started smoking around 3 years after. No idea why I started smoking, but I did and massively regretted it ever since!
DP guilt tripped me for years about smoking, telling me that he couldn’t quit because I wouldn’t, therefore it was my fault that he still smoked. Apparently me smoking would make it too hard for him to quit so he never tried. He would bring this up every few months.
Around 10 months ago I quit smoking with the help of a vape. Finally realised it was a dangerous, expensive habit and wanted more for my DC. DP was over the moon and quit with me.
Fast forward to now, and DP has been buying cigarettes. When questioned about it he’ll say that he smoked for longer than I did, and quitting was too hard for him, I need to get off his back, and he’ll smoke if he wants to.
I’m in 2 minds about this. On one hand I think it’s unfair how he made me feel like shit for years and like I was to blame for him not being able to quit smoking, and now it’s came down to it he just doesn’t want to. But on the other hand, he smoked when we started a relationship, I was well aware of that, and I continued the relationship in spite of that.
For context, we are currently living with my DF while we save for a deposit. I’ve told DP that we can’t afford for him to smoke at almost £10 a packet, it’ll make our day to day life incredibly tight once we have utility bills and mortgage etc to pay.
Wwyd?? And AIBU to think he’s out of order to start smoking again.