Me and my ex-bf have a 3 year old DD. We split 2 years ago and have been on good terms since, the 3 of us still have family days etc so she knows we’re friends and she’s got a loving family, just want her to know that her parents are friends and we don’t hate each other!
He lives a 2 hour drive from me so occasionally he stays at mine when I’m working so he can help out with childcare (he sleeps on the sofa) however it’s becoming really stressful for me....the last time he invited a mate round to MY house when I was in bed and they stayed up drinking beer till 3am....then he was good for nothing the next day, dumped DD in front of the TV and fell asleep. So I didn’t get the lay in I was promised before my late shift.
I’ve just come home from a 12 hour shift and he’s literally had her in front of the iPad (eating her dinner as well which is a big no-no from me) all day and he was watching some gangster film when I got in, ignoring her. The house was a mess, there’s pink slime all over my cream carpet and it looks like an absolute bomb site, he also nearly set fire to my oven. DD has been in a foul mood with me because he’s fed her treats all day and done nothing but let her watch tv (I try to restrict screen time but obviously she does watch some tv) so now I’m the bad guy for turning it all off and being strict.
AIBU to be pissed with him? We’ve got very different ways of parenting and I feel upset that he only sees her 2 weekends a month and would rather plonk her in front of an iPad and watch a film by himself - for almost an entire day. I also think it’s a bit disrespectful to make such a mess in my house, eat all my food in the fridge and drink all my bloody wine! Especially as he only pays me a third of the maintenance I should get - I work 50 hours a week on top of bringing DD up and I just feel like he does nothing. Him being lazy was mostly the reason we split up. But anytime I say anything to him he gets defensive and it turns into an argument.