To think this behaviour is more annoying than polite?

[expatinspain]

I have a friend whose behaviour regarding hosting I find quite strange. When we go to her house she literally tries to ply us with food and drink. Obviously it's polite to offer people food and drink when they're at your house, but with her it's constant.

You accept a drink and a snack and the second you finish she's offering another. You politely decline and she constantly offers. Even if you've had say four biscuits, she's pulling more packs out and telling you that you must try these and these abc then something else. It's relentless!! With alcohol she's a nightmare. She barely drinks and after a couple of drinks you say 'no I'm ok' and if you go to the loo she pours you another anyway. She does the same when out, orders you another glass when you go to the loo and pays for it, even though you've had enough and she's barely drinking.

DP was doing some work in her house for her and he was busy fixing blinds, plastering holes etc and in the space of four hours she offered him a drink more than 20 times!! He had one when he arrived and after many offers quite firmly said he was busy, but that he's have one when he finished and she kept on and on .

Am I being a bit mean finding this annoying? Do you think she's just trying to be a good host? It doesn't matter how firmly you say no, it's like an onslaught!!

Sounds annoying.
But I'm even worse I think!
I don't eat much and probably don't drink enough either, so I'll always offer guests a tea / coffee etc soon after their arrival but usually forget to do another round and very rarely offer any food other than sometimes biscuits. It's because I don't snack that much myself, I've never had a big appetite so I just forget! My poor hungry / thirsty guests!! Will do better...

I think that sounds fine, @SuzieQ10, unless they’re staying for a week and are only given an initial biscuit! It’s certainly easier to ask for something if and when you need it than having to bat aside literally incessant offers of food and drink you’ve politely refused a number of times.

Better than being a guest and not being offered a drink imo

Ah you need to meet my Aunt.

Her: do you want a mince pie (near Christmas visit)
Me: no thank you, I don’t like mince pies.
Her: but I made them.
Me: no thank you.
Her shouting: I AM NOT TRYING TO POISON YOU, HAVE A MINCE PIE.

I went home.

I would genuinely prefer being mildly neglected to the kind of thing described by the OP, or being someone who has tried to drop on briefly on my mother.

She once had a distant American cousin drop in while on her way to an appointment when she was visiting our home country, and my mother left this woman (who had refused refreshments and was in a hurry), sitting uncomfortably alone in the living room while she made a batch of scones and sent one of us down to the shop for cream to put on them.

The unfortunate visitor is already probably on the verge of being late for her commitment elsewhere, baffled at why my mother has suddenly vanished, and is about to make her excuses and run, when suddenly my mother appears with a giant tray of tea, scones, jam and cream and starts setting the table...