Is punctuation in text messages unfriendly?

[CruCru]

A little while ago, I read something (possibly in the Guardian) that said that young people find my style of texting (basically, full stops and question marks, paragraphs etc) weird and unfriendly. It is better to leave off the punctuation altogether (although ! are fine) and send a separate text for each sentence.

I must admit that getting a whole string of texts off one person really irritates me. I’ve turned off the sound of texts / WhatsApps (because the repeated ping was making me crazy). I’ll start to reply but then get a whole load of other messages, making my reply pointless.

Am I old? I’m only 41.

@MyVisionsComeFromSoup I like your theory!

I hadn't thought about it until now, but yes, I use full punctuation, except for the final full stop of each message
Clearly pressing send works like a full stop, in my head.

The point is that some people (usually under 30) apparently see a full stop in a text as abrupt and confrontational and it's becoming an accepted convention.

Yes, but why should their opinion count for more?

I think it is pretentious and silly to use no punctuation. The point of punctuation is to make it easy for the recipient to read and understand the sense of the message on first reading. If you leave out commas and full stops (which are the minimum form of punctuation to my mind) then the recipient often has to read the text several times to gauge the meaning. I had no idea that it was the done thing for young people to leave out the full stops - they are mad (and lazy). I am old and was properly grounded in punctuation from primary school, though.

Yes, but why should their opinion count for more?

It doesn't, nobody is trying to ban punctuation. It's just a fact that tone can now be conveyed through punctuation in a way that it didn't previously.

In reality, since you probably know the people you're texting there won't be any misunderstandings, it's just an interesting evolution in casual written language.

My dad texts in capitals. That's pretty aggressive, although he doesn't mean it to be. I punctuate fully in messages. I have a younger relative who finds the thumbs up emoji offensive, as though it were sarcastic, I'll ask her about punctuation. I'm 35 but I've always had a thing about texts, even when my generation used to use CU L8R (and so on), it made me itchy and I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

There has been interesting research done into how differently young people and older people use punctuation in texts, and the conclusion was that overly formal punctuation in texts can seem cold and unfriendly. I think a lot depends on your relationship with the person you're texting though. I always use full punctuation texting my boss for example.

Whereas my boss (female) ends texts to me with a kiss!

The thumbs up emoji is definitely short hand for "go fuck yourself"

Oh God, really? So if I send a text to someone to say “Thanks for your message. 7pm tomorrow is good for me, shall I meet you there?” and they respond with a thumbs up, that’s bad?

I assumed that it just meant “Yep, that’s a plan!”

I’m in my 60’s, & totally past caring what the younger generation find offensive! If it’s not one thing it’s another!
They seem to please themselves without any regard for their elders, so I treat them in the same way!

This is all.

In that context it's not "go fuck yourself" but its still quite rude. It' basically, I cant be assed to respond to your message with actual words.

@MonsranceClock are you sure you're not confusing the thumbs up emoji with the middle finger one?!

No. If I sent a thumbs up to someone they'd be messaging me what the fuck is up

@matahairyy er, no you didn't. You said young people say 'see you later' or 'see you later.'

My husband and I aren't young.

it's becoming an accepted convention.

It might be becoming, but I think with many of us being unaware, it's not yet there - whereas use of CAPS for shouting is a convention from printed text, so is genuinely widely understood.

Why should young people be the only ones to decide which way language evolves?

Why should young people be the only ones to decide which way language evolves?

Their not, there are many things that influence the way language evolves.

I’m not sure why people find this so difficult to accept. Since you can’t hear tone over text messages, language has had to evolve to express this. Block capitals is shouting, and a short message with a full stop is abrupt. For example:

Jane: WE WON’T FUCKING GO THEN!!!
John: Fine. See you tomorrow.

You can say it’s ridiculous and bury your heads in the sand all you like, but this is how a lot of people communicate today. Of course there are different rules for different forms of writing. A lack of punctuation in text messages doesn’t mean full stops are becoming obsolete.

Punctuation within a longer text is different. Full stops, commas, hyphens are still very much in use. Question marks are still used at the end of a question.

In a similar vein, text speak isn’t really a thing anymore. My very cool teenage brother uses full spellings (and even, shock horror, commas and question marks). I suppose with autocorrect it’s easier to spell things correctly. The likes of “lol” is seen as embarrassingly outdated and only used ironically. The laughing emoji serves that purpose now.

The point is that ^some people (usually under 30) apparently see a full stop in a text as abrupt and confrontational and it's becoming an accepted convention.

The trouble with that is that it's only an accepted convention within a subset of people under 30, which is still a pretty tiny proportion of the population. Quite why anyone would want to invent rules just to make life more complicated, God only knows. If members of this group can't assimilate the fact that some people use correct punctuation just because that's how they write normally, then they will have to suck up any offence they choose to feel at the horror of finding a full stop in a text.

I have my phone on silent all the time, so never get annoyed by a string of notification bleeps. I sometimes write several messages where I could have collated all the responses into one message, because I write as I think. The following messages are thoughts which occured after the first one was sent.

I don't think the thumbs up on its own is rude, especially to confirm something like a meet up arrangement, address, etc. It can defo mean "I cba to respond with words" but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm pissed off with you - it might mean I'm toddler wrangling or very tired (but don't want to ignore you) or the text doesn't actually warrant a response other than me conveying "Everything received, approved and understood" which the thumbs up does nicely.

I remember my XP and his brother having a long running argument with XMIL who had an annoying habit of, if you didn't respond to a text within a time frame she considered appropriate, would copy and paste the same text and send it again, sometimes repeatedly. Whether she thought it hadn't gone through or something I don't know. Anyway she had sent something (I forget what) to XBIL who had decided that, useful as the text was to him, he didn't especially need to reply. This irked/concerned her so she kept sending the same text again. When she saw him she asked him about it, to which he said "Oh, that, well, I didn't think it warranted a response" which caused her massive offence and a large argument ensued about text etiquette :o :o

It was years ago but it was so funny with XP (who was liable to get het up about the slightest thing) going on about how intrusive her repeated texts were, XBIL (who had a far more laid back manner) vaguely amused by the whole thing and XMIL actually mortally offended by the notion that a message "didn't warrant a response".

The only person I know who uses the thumbs up is the woman who does a lot of the organisation of a charity I volunteer for. We have a text conversation (which takes about 2 days because we're both in our late 40s and are not wedded to our phones) and she usually signifies her agreement with information I have told her with a 👍 which I always took to be a positive, but as she has two teens I'm now wondering if:

It's a genuine sign of agreement and just friendly short hand or if she is telling me she is pissed off with me, which sounds crazy

If she uses it for the teens, if indeed teens text their DMs, she still means the same thing and does she know about this apparent different meaning by young people

If the teens also see it as a positive or are thinking 'shit, mum's pissed at me'

. ? Really? Never mind, I don't text anyone under 40 so it doesn't matter.

I use thumbs up to say 'I've seen your message and I agree/ acknowledge what you're saying but don't think you need a wordy response'.

I've only recently started string texting, mid 40's, when having a text conversation rather than sending a text message. I see it like pausing to allow the other person to speak and think about what you're saying.

I wouldn't string text a message that im not expecting the person to be sitting watching their phone for, sentence by sentence though.