Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would be annoyed with friend?

12 replies

CupidIsFired · 10/08/2019 09:54

We visit this place quite regularly abroad, my DD's father is from here and so most of the friends I have, I have met here because of spending so much time here. DD's dad cheated on me so we are not together anymore I found out while I was pregnant and I had a pretty rough time and this particular friend (friend A) helped me a bit. Now I'm fine after some counselling but sometimes it still gets to me. Friend A knows this. There is 7 of us here on holiday atm. Friend A has started texting a guy from one of the bars, and so has been in his bar every night. This guy is engaged, I asked her if she knew this and she said yes. Last night she slept with him, one of the other friends told me (Who has also been cheated on before)
I'm quite annoyed at her but don't know if IBU to be annoyed. Since being here friend A has claimed to have many guys texting her, last year she slated a girl we both know for sleeping with someone's boyfriend. So I think I'm annoyed because she called the this girl so many bad things and has now done the same thing. She also knows that 2 of us in our group right now have been cheated on. I know it's not my business, and I shouldn't get annoyed but I really am. I haven't seen friend A yet as she's still in her room, it's her birthday today too. And I feel like I've lost a little respect for her, but I have to be all nice and bite my tongue because it's her birthday. I don't want to spoil the day or make an atmosphere also so I won't say anything. But I'm sat with DD in my room while she naps, thinking about what she's done and I think it's just reminding me of my situation.

Would you say something to friend A? Usually I'm someone who will say something to a friend if I disagree. But probably this is something I have to let go?

OP posts:
InTheHeatofLisbon · 10/08/2019 09:56

I probably wouldn't say anything but only because it's clear your friend doesn't think about anyone but herself. I'd stick out the holiday and then let the friendship drift when you get home.

I might be in the minority, but I think that while she doesn't owe an explanation to anyone, her behaviour is pretty selfish and unfair and not really in the spirit of a friends holiday.

8by8 · 10/08/2019 09:58

I’d let it go for now, then after her birthday have a chat about it.

It’s out of character for her to sleep with an engaged man - especially given she disapproved of somebody else doing the same thing, and knows your situation.

So maybe don’t go in all guns blazing, just ask her if everything’s ok, say you thought it was out of character for her and were concerned.

Sounds like she’s been a supportive friend to you in the past so try to let it go for now then follow up later.

lonelyheartsclubband · 10/08/2019 09:59

If it was me, and she brings it up I'd 100% call her out on being hypocritical for slagging someone else off for doing the same. Then I'd leave it at that. Don't really have to say much else. If you make it about yourself (which she might accuse you of) by saying how it happened to you it'll cause more issues. So just say "kinda hypocritical seeing as you slagged of X for doing the same"

Point made. Done.

I'm a pretty blunt person most the time 😂

AllFourOfThem · 10/08/2019 09:59

I would end the friendship but for the ease of everyone, I’d wait until the end of the holiday to stop contacting and would just send brief but polite replies with no questions to anything she messages you in the future.

Original poster
CupidIsFired · 10/08/2019 10:03

Thats what i was thinking of doing, just mentioning the fact she slagged someone else for doing it and has now done the same, but I'm not sure she'd care and it think it would wind me up more. I told her it was wrong when she said she was just texting him, but she said she doesn't have a bf so there's no problem. But we were all having drinks so didn't want to escalate the situation because she can get quite fiery if someone says something she doesn't like

OP posts:
Cheeserton · 10/08/2019 10:07

She's loathsome, knowingly sleeping with an engaged man. Yes call her out on her hypocrisy.

lonelyheartsclubband · 10/08/2019 10:40

If you've mentioned it already then it's highly unlikely that she will care a second time. I agree with a PP and fade the friendship out when you get home and just don't engage in any conversation about this bloke.

I'm starting the think the "girl code" never existed 😂

Original poster
CupidIsFired · 10/08/2019 10:43

@lonelyheartsclubband I completely agree.i feel girl code just doesn't exist. It's just annoying because this friend uses the term "girl code" quite often. Maybe it's best I bite my tongue, although I don't know how long I will be able to do it for, since She's already started gloating.

OP posts:
lonelyheartsclubband · 10/08/2019 10:51

Oh mate I'd have a field day with her and her hypocrisy 😂

How long of your holiday is left?

Original poster
CupidIsFired · 10/08/2019 10:57

@lonelyheartsclubband usually I would too, but as it's her birthday and we're on holiday in a group then I'm not wanting to be the one who causes an atmosphere... I have 10 days left. Don't think I'll be able to hold my tongue that long if she carries on.

OP posts:
StressedAndBurntOut · 10/08/2019 12:02

Maybe you could just comment about being quite surprised that she has done that or something along those lines. Stick out holiday but hang more with your other friends. And then you can see what happens and play it by ear with her afterwards depending on what she does next & how it all plays out.

lonelyheartsclubband · 10/08/2019 12:08

I want updates on how much she bangs on about it 😂

New posts on this thread. Refresh page