Feeling like a band person..

[pinkopink]

I had a dog for 15 years,from 7 weeks old.
I loved him so much and he had such a good life.
He died 7 weeks ago and I've never felt such sadness since I lost my mum.
2 weeks ago I got a dog who is 5 from the kennels who has had such a awful life and we brought him home.
I like the dog but I don't love him the same way,I don't have that bond with him and I just keep thinking of my old dog.
I can't give him any of my other dogs toys as it's just too sad.
I know people might think "it's only a dog" but he was a part of the family.
Am I bad person for not loving the new dog yet ?

*bad not band (half asleep )

You never love anything straight away like that - the bond takes years to develop. I’m fairly sure the cute puppy/kitten phase only exists to get you to put up with them long enough to have a chance of starting that bond.

It’s only been 2 weeks, and only 5 weeks before that since you lost your beloved long-term pet. Give yourself permission to grieve and accept. In the meantime, since you have DDog2, take pleasure in making his life lovely and the bond will come eventually.

We rescued a Labrador who was 9 months old about 14 months after our spaniel died age 14. Honestly the dog is lovely and we love him but personally it took me over a year before I felt I loved him. I wondered why it took me so long and felt bad but in the end the love came. Maybe it's something to do with adopting older dogs rather than having them from when they were tiny? I'm not sure but hang in there it's early days and just giving him that wonderful new life is enough right now. You're doing a great job.

You're not a bad person at all. It takes time to build up a bond. Give it time...

I've always had to throw away pets' feeding bowls when they've died - can't stand the sight of them for some reason. Pack up old dog's toys; new toys for new dog.

You know you've done a good thing rescuing a dog. Put your efforts into settling him in, training him, learning his ways as he learns yours. Spending that effort in him will create the bond. New dog is going to have a long and happy life with you too.

I'm so sorry for your loss of beautiful dog. I lost my best boy at Christmas a few years ago and by start of March I had a new Rescue in my life. I always say it was the worst and the best decision I ever made! Give it time, try not to compare the two one is not replacing the other as such. The way I thought it thru was that I had so much love to give to a wee dog and there are so many out there looking a home I couldn't not do it!

for your old boy. It's entirely normal that you should still miss him.

Giving a home to this dog who has had an awful life before makes you a good person especially if you don't 'love' him yet.
From his POV the important thing is what you do, not how you feel about it. Warm gooey feelings may be nice for you but they're not what matters to him.

(That was supposed to start with the flower emoticon but it's not showing when I post, MN glitch I guess. )

OP first think I would do it pack up anything of your old dogs- toys, bowls, blankets etc into a box. Then you haven't gotten rid of any of it but you can deal with it when you are further along with the grief.

Get your new dog some bits of it's own.

It takes time to build up a bond. Just stick at it.