To ask people not to smoke in my garden

[clapperboard]

Context is FIL chain smokes to the extent that DH won't take the DC to their house as they smoke indoors so it's very strong smelling.

When inlaws visit FIL goes on the front garden to smoke. Now it's summer the DC are mostly in the rear garden when they visit so FIL will sit chain smoking while DC are playing.

Is it unreasonable to ask him to go onto the front away from DC to smoke still? I haven't suggested this to DH (he'd be the one who asked him to) as I didn't know if I was being U. It's not a big garden but my issue is when he visits indoors he can manage 15-20 minutes without smoking breaks but when we are outdoors he smokes one after the other so we all sit breathing it in.

YANBU. I find this attitude of 'if it's outside it doesn't matter' very . It doesn't dissolve into thin air when outside. It still stinks, it still spreads and it's still harmful. Nobody would be smoking in my garden, under any circumstances, and I would not be happy with a visitor to my house smoking openly in front of my children (and implicitly redefining smoking as acceptable, as a pp says). Smoking needs to become something that people are ashamed to be seen doing.

Yanbu. No-one smokes on my property 🤷

I had this with my MIL who tried to go in the back garden to smoke during my DD 1st birthday party. All the babies were in the garden and as she started to go outside to smoke I just said in a relaxed and matter of fact voice (I hope it was like that anyway) "smoking in the front garden please away of the children". Inside I was tamping. But fair play she went out (probably tamping) but who cares!?

Smokers are immune to the uncomfortable side effects of second hand smoke so they don't understand why non smokers make such a fuss about it.

As an ex smoker (of many years) I've been in both camps. I used to think all the melodramatic fanning and coughing was just for effect. Now, I can no longer be in the vicinity of smoke without quickly developing a sore throat and a headache, and the smell that smokers give off turns my stomach.

For your FIL to smoke around your MIL with lung cancer is beyond my comprehension.