AIBU to make DD walk this?

[Oddlyshapedpeach]

DD is just turned 12. She wants to take on an extra class in one of her activities. I have said yes, but only if she is prepared to walk there and back. We live in a quiet, rural village of about 2,000 people. Everyone knows everyone however there has been recent issues over a few flats being turned into "halfway houses" for those coming out of jail/psychiatric care, though it's hard to know how much is NIMBYism and how much is genuinely concerning

Class starts at 8 and ends at 9. It is less than five minutes walk away- down our street, through the village square, down another street, turn, and there's the church hall. The second street has a car park on one side and the side of the shops on the other, but it is floodlit and takes maybe 30 seconds to walk down. DH works late shift on the night the class is on, and I will be at home with the younger DC who are in bed by 8 and asleep.

AIBU? I think it's because she'd be coming home at nine, that feels quite late to me. I'm not sure how I will feel when she's doing it in January too. DD is moaning tjga she wants one of us to walk down to pick her up, DH may be home early enough some nights but it isn't guaranteed.

Maybe check to see if the houses have curfews? My friend lived near a halfway house and I think they all had to be in at a certain time. It may help your decision.

Will the organisers of the class allow her to leave on her own, particularly in winter?

If it's a 5 min walk, then it should be even quicker by bike. Give it a try.

No, not at that time of the night, and especially not with criminals / mental health patients living nearby. I would be dropping her off and picking her up / asking the organiser to do it if it’s so close, and if they can’t she wouldn’t be able to go.

if she has a bike,would that not be a faster option?and/or a personal safety alarm?perhaps.

No I wouldn't let her

You mentioned she cycles, may be slightly safer by bike!

I wouldn't be comfortable with my dd doing that and she's 37
she might as well wear a hoodie bearing the slogan 'Potential Victim

If she’s confident then I’d let her. If she’s not then she can’t until she’s old enough to feel confident.

How does she feel about walking this?

And the idea that an adult woman could not walk this is ridiculous.

Less than 5 minutes walk at age 12 is absolutely fine. Don't understand the relevance of January.

YANBU

No, I wouldn't. Not a chance.

Yes. I can’t see a huge problem assuming she’s happy to do it.

I think it's fine.

January = height of winter = darkness / bad weather / less people around at 8-9pm.

How old are your other children and when does class fall?

Preschool age / Thursday night I'd be inclined to keep the younger child up a bit later.

7yo / Tuesday night then not so much.

No way!

I'd buy her a phone and talk to her as she's walking home.

Why not let her start the class and worry about the dark winter months nearer the time? She might not stick it (based on my kids), or meet a new friend to walk with.

Same as November, December and February then.
I think it's fine personally.

I'm inclined to think not on foot, especially on a dark night.
What sort of still-open shops are there that she'll pass on her way back, any like takeaways or fast food places where groups of teens hang out?

I'd arrange for a neighbour or someone who lives close by to sit with the children at home for 10 minutes whilst I went to collect her.

January = height of winter = darkness / bad weather / less people around at 8-9pm.

Meh. It's dark and cold when they walk home from school. At 12 years old a walk of less then 5 minutes is nothing.

Fuck me what sort of country do we live in that this is even a question. Off course it’s reasonable at that age.