We split 5 years ago and dc stay at his once-twice a week. As a teacher I have them for the vast majority of the holidays and ex, despite initially insisting he would be having them 50% of the holidays, has them nowhere that amount (Good!) and tends to be very difficult to pin down about holiday arrangements. He's taken them away once when his mum paid for it. That's the only time he has had them for longer than 4 nights at a stretch, which the dc are happy about as they do very little there and the novelty of unlimited screen time appears to have worn off. This year we went away 28/7 until yesterday and before we went I messaged ex and asked what he wanted to do about contact after that. He replied that he would let me know. So far so typical and I heard nothing more. Yesterday ds1 messaged him asking when they would see him and to remind him we have theatre tickets for Sunday night so whatever they would need to be back by then. I had informed ex of that in my message. He told ds he would pick them today or tomorrow and would let him know. Typical.
Yesterday I was exhausted following a long drive from France and did no washing. This morning he rang saying he would pick them up in a couple of hours. He arrived 90 minutes later and ds2 had no clean clothes to take. Ds2 was sullen because he didn't want to go and, in front of the dc ex started berating me about why he could only have them until Sunday and how unfair it is. He also demanded clothes for them, which I didn’t really have available for ds2. I have realised over time that it’s important not to discuss stuff like this in front of the dc but to keep it to email, but I had to calmly reply that I had asked what he wanted to do about contact and he had not replied with any requests. I said he could have them for longer after Sunday if he (and they?) wanted and he ignored that and accused me of acting like I own them. It was horrible. Dc looked miserable being driven away and I feel anxious that he won’t bring them back in time so now I’m not going to enjoy my break but will feel on edge the whole time.
I think I might be UR about the clothes but he pays not a penny towards them and I didn’t feel like washing all day yesterday when I didn’t even know that they would be going away again. I just wish he’d make plans. I just feel like we were having two separate conversations and the dc heard it all. Fuck. What was UR about what I’ve done?