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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ds travelling without me

25 replies

ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 09:43

I'm not a neurotic mother normally,I'm pretty chilled out with most things (I think)
Ds 5 is going to a summer club thing with a friend today 11 til 3,friends mum has offered to take him as I don't drive which i really appreciate.(I cant go with as no room in car)
The thing is I'll be worried about him travelling as I'm not in the car with him,its like a weird superstition thing that if I'm in the car and we had an accident I'd be there with him so its "ok" but I feel its more likely to happen if I'm not there? It's so ridiculous that I nearly didn't post .Aibu to be a weirdo about this? I think I need a mn head wobble.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 09/08/2019 09:45

Yabu
Its really nice of her to give him a lift

Bunnybigears · 09/08/2019 09:45

He is going to be without you all day at Summer Camp, why is in the car different? Definitely give your hed a wobble kind of a situation.

Mrsjayy · 09/08/2019 09:46

You need to take a breath you are driving yourself up the wall ! Wave him off and text the other mum after he has been dropped off .

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 09/08/2019 09:50

I had similar feelings when I flew with DD, my dad and my sister. She sat with my sister a few rows in front of us and I realised that in an emergency I wouldn't be allowed to get to her until we were off the plane. But I also knew that she was with someone who loved her and would be more than capable of taking care of her.

Sometimes it's just about acknowledging that they are getting a bit bigger and able to go off without you, so long as there is someone there who is able to look after them.

He's 5, I hope he has a great time with his friends at summer camp. Organise something to do while he's out the house so you don't spend the whole time catastrophising in your head.

NoBaggyPants · 09/08/2019 09:50

If there's an accident it will be paramedics that make things OK, not you.

But it's extremely unlikely that there will be.

Everything will be fine.

Original poster
ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 09:52

I know and you are all right,its totally ridiculous!

OP posts:
Pineapplefish · 09/08/2019 09:52

I think this is the sort of thing that feels weird the first time it happens but soon feels completely normal once it's happened a couple of times. He'll be fine OP!

Original poster
ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 09:58

@Pineapplefish it isn't the first time 😂 hes been loads of times without me,I'm like it every time

OP posts:
TwistyTop · 09/08/2019 10:00

Obviously YABU but I think this is pretty common. Distract yourself with other things and he'll be home before you know it Grin

Just wait until he's the one driving the car! Then you'll bloody worry lol...

Mrsjayy · 09/08/2019 10:00

I think it is just 1 of those inner thoughtswe all have we know it is bonkers irrational but we can't control it he will be fine Smile

AngelasAshes · 09/08/2019 10:04

I get same thoughts when I don’t know what sort of driver a person is.
I’ve been a passenger with some really scary bad drivers before.

Original poster
ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 10:04

@TwistyTop oh dear god dont

OP posts:
MonChatEstMagnifique · 09/08/2019 10:08

My children are 15 and 10 and I still feel like you do. 😬 It's something I have to just try to ignore my 'weirdness' on so that my kids do 'normal' stuff. I always feel better once they're home though.

My 15 year old has travelled to places with parents that I don't know and have never met.....that felt very weird but I'm very aware I have to just let it go.

NoSauce · 09/08/2019 10:09

Get help for your anxiety.

Teddybear45 · 09/08/2019 10:13

I think you probably feel more powerless here because you don’t drive - when you drive regularly the fear of other cars / drivers etc often fades a little (never completely if you’re a good driver) because you know you can look out for hazards and plan accordingly. As a passenger you’re very much at the whim of the driver and so it can feel scary if you don’t understand why they make the decisions they do.

Original poster
ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 10:21

@NoSauce I dont suffer from anxiety it's an irrational thought process that's all

OP posts:
NoSauce · 09/08/2019 10:27

Irrational thoughts can be a sign of anxiety OP.

Original poster
ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 10:32

@NoSauce it's only an irrational thought about this situation,I'm all good thanks

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 09/08/2019 10:37

We all get anxious though it is something we need to work through we don't need to be rushing off to get help because we have an irrational worry abour our children. I have adult children i still have those silly thoughts occasionally.

ineedaholidaynow · 09/08/2019 10:38

I think like this too Blush I don’t stop DS going anywhere and have to give my head a wobble a few times.

I always have a little wobble when he goes on a school trip but accept he goes on a school bus everyday, so it makes no sense.

NoSauce · 09/08/2019 10:38

Ok OP no worries. Hope he has a nice day.

Original poster
ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 10:44

Hes just set off,I'm sire all will be fine its reassuring to know that even those with adult children feel like this Blush

OP posts:
alliejay81 · 09/08/2019 11:02

OP, I don't really like my DS going on motorway car journeys with my DH or DDad! I don't suffer from anxiety either! As you have said, it's an irrational thought and the best coping mechanism is not to dwell on it!

EskewedBeef · 09/08/2019 11:08

It's possibly because you can't drive, it seems like a bigger risk. Would you have a similar worry if he was going on the bus or train with the same people?

Original poster
ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 13:39

@EskewedBeef yes probably it's so weird

OP posts:
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