AIBU to not attend wedding when...

[Mrsmememe]

AIBU to not attend BIL wedding when we know he’s cheating on his wife to be and has done with multiple people all through their relationship?
BIL told us quite openly he’s only getting married to ‘shut her up’ after she gave him an ultimatum when my husband and I got married.
They are openly doing the whole big wedding thing on Facebook and we are getting grief from family members (parents in law) about why are we not going.
It’s common knowledge that the groom has cheated and will likely do so again. The bride knows too.
My husband has simply said they are making a mockery of marriage and we aren’t going. We are away on holiday that week luckily.
Family think we should have ‘played along’ but we can’t bring ourselves to. Are we being selfish and unreasonable?

If the bride knows that he is sleeping with other people that's just an open relationship and she seems happy with it as she still wants to marry him so nothing to judge really. It's their marriage, not yours, you don't need to compare.

"Stand up for what's right even if you're standing alone."
I love this quote and I love your stance Mrsmememe

It’s common knowledge that the groom has cheated and will likely do so again. The bride knows too.

But this is the brides choice

You dont like BIL , let DH deal with his family and dont give it judgemental headspsce

Yanbu

I wouldn't want to be party to their sham either. They sound like they deserve each other.

I'd let your DH sort the RSVP side of things if it's his side of family.

They sound hideous so judge away, I am, based on what you describe.

I wouldn’t want to be there. I’ve had serious doubts about going to a wedding where much less serious issues were at play but I did and was then on hand to pick up the pieces when our friend saw the light and left the mad cheating cow a few years later.

In this case, it’s your DH family and he’s made his decision so can’t say fairer than that.

YANBU
As others have said, I'd let your DH do the explaining

For the record on the DV please don’t assume it’s the bride who is the injured party. It’s one of the reasons we are not close.
Sorry that was wrongly my assumption... I think considering his comment was he’s marrying her to shut her up
Is quite telling.
Can you support him to leave her?
It’s so hard to see clearly when you are in a DV relationship. Often your choices are a bit foggy

YANBU.

I can't believe the defenders of this farce of a wedding.

If she knows and still wants to get married then surley it's not for you to tell them they are doing it wrong.

I don’t blame you for not wanting to go, but I think you’re being a bit naive to be surprised that you’re being ‘judged’ by the groom’s family and that it’s ‘awkward’. What did you expect?

By all means stick by your decision, but don’t expect your family to be thrilled.