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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lock his gate?

16 replies

BlondeAlways · 09/08/2019 07:05

Moved into my new house around 2 months ago. My back gate is always locked, I'm very security conscious. My neighbour I have said a friendly hello a few times but I don't really know him other than that (I prefer to keep neighbours at a friendly distance). Every so often he leaves his back gate open, this means anyone could have easier access to my back garden too as the gates are sort of connected. I assume he just forgets, don't see why else he would do it? He has two cats but they climb over it with no difficulty. So when he's not in I quickly run out and lock it! (I can just reach over standing in my garden, I wouldn't go onto his property). It also bangs when it's windy and it does my head in.

Does that mind me a weird neighbour? Should I just mind my own fucking business?

OP posts:
flyingspaghettimonster · 09/08/2019 07:09

It's a bit weird. If I left my gate unlocked it would be because I didn't want it locked, maybe to give me easier access. You might mention next time you seeing "hope you don't mind, but I noticed your gate was unlocked the other day and it bangs a bit in the wind, so I locked it." See how he reacts.

Original poster
BlondeAlways · 09/08/2019 07:11

Yes I thought that. I might say oh I heard it banging and went outside because I thought it was mine or something

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondeAlways · 09/08/2019 07:11

To be fair I've only locked it once so far

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondeAlways · 09/08/2019 07:22

Also his gate can easily be unbolted from the other side it's not high so he wouldn't be unable to access etc

OP posts:
hazell42 · 09/08/2019 07:40

Well if it's easily unbolted from the other side its not really any sort of security risk to you if it is bolted or not, is it?
Burglars usually know how to slide back a bolt.
I think you are overly anxious about your security.
Look at it this way. If there was a burglar in the neighbourhood and your neighbour had gone out and conveniently left his gate open, why would the burglar go through his garden only to climb into yours , when he could just as easily rob your neighbour?
Neighbour is doing you a favour
Leave his gate alone

BobTheDuvet · 09/08/2019 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sn0tnose · 09/08/2019 08:02

If a cat can climb over his gate then a burglar is going to have no problem climbing over yours, if the fancy takes them. Closing his gate if he’s purposely left it open is weird, overstepping boundaries and the quickest way to fall out with your new neighbour. Keeping him at a friendly distance is not going to be easy when he’s banging on your door demanding to know why you can’t just leave his property alone.

Saucery · 09/08/2019 08:08

I think it’s fair enough to secure a gate that banging in the wind. As well as the noise being annoying it can damage the gate if the wind is strong and I’d be grateful if someone did that for me (our gates are locked and double bolted though ).
Securitywise, bolting it where it’s reachable from the outside won’t make any difference.
Maybe look at planting some prickly bushes on your side of the wall in your garden? Not guaranteed to deter someone but could put off the casual burglar.

user1493413286 · 09/08/2019 08:11

To be honest if it’s that easily locked and unlocked then it wouldn’t give it much security to be locking it. I think it’s fair enough to lock it when it’s banging but if he’s leaving it unlocked for a reason he may find it annoying to kept finding it locked.

Original poster
BlondeAlways · 09/08/2019 08:14

Yeah I'll ask my neighbour to leave a BRICK next to his open gate! Confused Fair enough it's easy for anyone to open but it's still like leaving a big neon arrow for potential scumbags.

I won't lock it again, my front bedroom is nearly decorated now so if the banging keeps me awake I'll just sleep in there.

If I see him in passing I'll helpfully ask does he know he's left his gate open. I don't have his number.

OP posts:
Skittlesandbeer · 09/08/2019 08:38

By him a self-closing gate springy thingo? Go over and offer it, admitting that the anxiety lies with you but asking as a favour he is welcome to refuse. He might prefer your solution, and be fine with it.

If he looks at you like you’re a bit of of a harmless loon, who he has no intention of enabling, you might just have to cut your losses. Could go either way!

Skittlesandbeer · 09/08/2019 08:38

*Buy him

FairyBatman · 09/08/2019 08:42

Tell him, but focus on the banging. ‘Hi, your gate was banging in the wind the other night so I bolted it incase it got damaged. Hope that’s OK.’

MrsDimmond · 09/08/2019 08:43

Could you clarify how his gate being unlocked compromises your security? Is that someone could climb over the fence from his garden into yours?

Original poster
BlondeAlways · 09/08/2019 08:47

Mrs Dimmond - correct. My Mum said I should put some wiring up to make the fence higher, which I could I suppose but then if it was up to my Mum she'd have the whole garden like Fort Knox! She also said I could put some sort of barbed wire along the top or some sort of deterrent but the cats in the street often walk along our fences and I don't want to hurt their little paws :-(

OP posts:
MrsDimmond · 09/08/2019 08:53

I think I would probably do something about the fencing between the gardens , but I like my privacy as much as security.
Trellis and climbing (thorny) roses perhaps ...

It's perfectly reasonable to shut a banging gate but to bokt it when already shut would be wrird (and futile).

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