Drinking with DC

[YellowUnicorn]

Hi, hoping I am BU but looking for reassurance to put my mind at rest.

DP is due to have our 3 month old DS on Sunday (his 2nd time, all day by himself) while I visit relatives for the day.

He's said he wants to go pub to watch the football, and "will have a few pints".

I'm worrying about the drinking. Would anyone else find this the norm and am I being silly for saying no?

How many is a few pints OP? Two tops or possibly more? It’s not great tbh, I can see why you’re concerned.

When he says 'a few pints', how many does he mean? Because if he knocks back a few cans every night and opens one the minute he gets in the door, I strongly doubt that by 'a few pints' he means 'two' or even 'three'.

Having worked in a number of pubs and seen people with babies having what they deemed to be 'a few pints', I personally wouldn't be keen on anyone having sole charge of a three-month-old baby in those circumstances.

Also, I love football, but a pub when the football is on is typically full of people shouting, jumping up with glasses in their hands, etc. Even in a decent pub, it's potentially a loud, volatile environment for a tiny baby.

@Passthecherrycoke are you deliberately being obtuse?

Btw you made a baby with him. You need to trust him to look after it, it’s his baby too. Saying “no” isnt really on

Making a baby with someone doesn't mean you automatically say yes to stupid ideas.

You can’t tell him to stay at home. He’s not the babysitter!

Pretty sure if the babysitter wanted to go to the pub with the baby they'd be out of a job. He's the dad, which means he should have more cop on.

3 months is way too early IMO. Putting aside DP and what he may or may not drink, what about all the other people who don't have babies with them and will be pissed? And the noise?

YANBU I think your DP is nuts!

Of course hawking a 3 month old to the pub to have a few pints is out of order . Please ignore any dickheads telling you this is ok and put a stop to it.
Madness.

My DH would occasionally take the baby to the pub solo to meet a friend, they’d have a Sunday roast, maybe watch a sporting event and he’d probably have a couple of drinks- I never asked for the exact number but I didn’t feel the need as I trust him to be a responsible parent. Go with your gut but if you think you can’t trust him not to get shitfaced or look after the baby on his own then you have a big problem.

I wouldn't be happy with that OP, maybe you'd better ask him a lot of questions, here are a few. is he out of his mind even suggesting it?

What is he going to do if the baby is scared with all the noise and starts screaming in fright - have you heard how many decibels a pub crowd can create suddenly when they shout 'Goal' or any encouragement to the players and adverse comments about the other team?

How popular is he going to be amongst a footy pub crowd with a screaming baby?

How many men take 3 month old babies to pubs to watch the footy? Does he think it's some sort of baby and Dad social outing, a patriarchal version of Soft Play?

How will he be capable of making any sensible decisions about the baby's welfare if he's been drinking?

Where is his sense of parental responsibility to his 3 month-old baby?

Where is his common-sense?

Thanks all.

It's the local quiet village pub, so wouldn't be rowdy, and yes if the baby was unsettled I would trust that he would leave. I do think I was panicking as brought it up yesterday & he said he was joking and he'd be watching football at home.

I don't think sleep deprivation has been helping with me worrying. But thank you all for your comments

Oh course I’m not being obtuse. Women who treat their partners like baby sitters set themselves up for years of problems, you do need to be careful. He’s the boys parent and has the right to look after him like this if he feels it suitable (and many people would- you only need to see the amount of babies in pubs to realise that)

After all, if they spilt Op will be sending her children off for weekends with him unaccompanied for years. She won’t be able to control what he does with them.

I think he probably just wants to show the baby off to friends. Quiet village pub. I'd try not to worry op.