To not know how to keep toddler in bed- desperately need help!

[Tigerwhocamefortea]

Almost 3 year old has always taken up to 90 minutes to fall asleep at night. However he used to lie nicely in bed with his dummy and chat to himself until he fell asleep. Since losing the dummy 3 weeks ago he is now unwilling to just relax in bed and so his daytime nap has disappeared and he isn’t staying in his room at bed time.

We are returning him to his bed 30 plus times over a period of 2 hours every evening from 7-9pm. I tried earlier bedtime of 6:30 and a later bedtime of 8pm and it made no difference.

We have an almost 5 month old who is in our bedroom and toddler is constantly leaving his room and going in to her and so we have to stay on the landing until he sleeps as I can’t leave them unsupervised.

It’s ruining my evenings, means I can’t get anything done around the house and don’t get to talk to DH so desperately need some help!

I’ve considered a stair gate on his bedroom door but I don’t feel comfortable with it and it means he can’t come in to us in a morning then he wakes.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Stair gate, and I like StCharlotte’s suggestion, are you strict enough? If he’s used to you sitting with him and gently taking him back to bed each time he knows he can get away with it. Toughen up .

It's not everyone's idea of good parenting but we have a baby gate on DS's door. We put it in when he had just turned three and was prone to going in to 'visit' his one year old brother. He was never bothered by it and just stayed in his room thereafter.

He's 4 now and the gate is still there! We don't lock it at night anymore but he won't t let us take it away because he likes to use it to keep his annoying little brother out if his room!

Sounds like the new baby, no dummy combination might be a source of stress. Has the dummy been replaced by anything.
But yes, a stair gate would be your best option, with the incentive that it will be removed when he has learnt to stay in bed until the morning.

Stair gate on his bedroom door - sorts your problem & he can still come into you in the morning - he just has to call you to go open it for him. Much less hassle than sleeping on the landing every night for ages! We had exactly the same issue with our toddler son & it worked a treat!!

Perhaps you could go old school like my mum and just say "BED!" in a slightly threatening tone. It worked on me!

lol yes I've no idea why people struggle with this. This was my mums method, my method...it works!

Second stair gate on the door, another blindingly obvious one (sorry!)

He isn’t upset at night, it’s a game! He will come out of his room onto the landing and shout “mummy, take me back to bed”!

Baby has only just started going upstairs to sleep on her own. She is still in our room and goes up about 8pm, I usually potter around putting clothes away and have a shower and then go to bed myself about 9pm so she isn’t really alone for long.