To ask for tips to deal with house sale/purchase anxiety

[CreekyBeaky]

Me, DH and DS (3) still live in my little two bed terraced house, it’s not really family friendly (small yard rather than garden and smack bang in the middle of town so noisy). We are tarting it up ready for sale and we’re nearly ready but I’ve started getting really anxious about dealing with estate agents and viewings, never mind getting a new mortgage and choosing a new property. Our neighbours on both sides are noisy, loud music and arguing all the time and their kids generally run feral in the street, we’ve had two smashed windows in the last 2 months (both deliberate because they were trying to throw stones into open windows and if you look at the crime map you can see there’s been multiple instances of anti social behaviour and domestic violent in the neighbouring properties).

Half the time I’m worried I’ll never sell the place and the other half I’m worried we’ll choose somewhere else with shit neighbours and be just as miserable as we are here as our budget isn’t massive.

I’m not sure if this is relevant but I’m nearly 40 and don’t suffer with my nerves or anything so this has taken me by surprise, we are also TTC no2 and the more worked up I get about the house, the more I worry it’ll affect our chances of conceiving and then, obviously, I get even more anxious.

Any tips for selling fast or methods for not getting into a state about the whole thing greatly appreciated.

I'm literally sitting here shitting myself because I'm waiting to hear if our offer on a house we really want will be accepted or not. I'm having far too much wine because it's the only thing that seems to get rid of the knot in my stomach.

My hands are raw from all the cleaning needed before each viewing of our house. My nerves are fried.

If I had to add awful neighbors to the miss, I'd combust. You have all my sympathy, plus a whole heap more.

There's no control in this process, but if the right buyer walks through your door it'll work out.

Excuse me while I go and vomit in a bucket.

Thanks god it’s not just me @Signifyingnothing

I hadn’t even thought about actually making offers on other houses and waiting to hear back. Hope your offer is accepted 🤞.

At least the vacuuming from the constantly cleaning may piss off the neighbours slightly which is a heartwarming thought.

No, not just you at all. I'm considering burying my phone in the garden just so I can pretend none of this is happening.

Am I helping?!

And I'm convinced the stress is making me ill and it's only been a week since our house went 'live'.

It'll be okay though, right? I mean you bought your house after all. Are you planning to let the agents show people around? We opted for that because - CRINGE.

And if might help to keep things neutral. Otherwise your nerves might just take over. Like me last night when I invited someone to look in my cupboards. WTF was I thinking?

It's a non-stop horror show.

BUT you'll be fiiiiiiiine. It'll all be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

I did buy my house yes but I was 25 then, single and was staying with a friend so no chain and my DF basically dealt with it all for me. It seems so much more serious and complicated now there’ll be a chain, DH opinions on houses, also what’s best for DS... (these differ for example we could get everything we want in a bungalow but DH is averse to them but can’t explain why).

I should add that DH has never owned a house, he went from renting to living with me and he’s blissfully unaware of what’s lying ahead. He’s also fantasising about glorious houses which are way out of our budget and has a quite romantic view of the whole process.

I hope it will all be alright for both of us! We think we will have to do viewings though as we have a dog who will loose his shit of several strangers enter the house at once. He’ll be fine if one of us is there though. It will be very very cringe.

I think it would be strange if you weren’t stressed about it! The whole thing is just awful but worth it in the end.

You just have to do things one step at a time. Starting with getting your house ready for the photos.

I got a friend who enjoys looking on Right Move to keep an eye on the market for me. She enjoys looking at houses. I don’t.

Ha ha! Why on earth did you let someone in your cupboards??? Mine will be like Monica’s secret messy closet in friends. However, it’s exactly the kind of thing I would do, as well as just ramble on and on to fill any silences. Do people say much as you’re showing them round? Do you let them wonder about on their own once you’ve given them a tour?

@ThisIsMyBuick yes, very good advice, don’t think too far ahead.

We have hired a storage container and have been decluttering as when I go on rightmove I always think how awful houses with clutter look but I have masses of stuff everywhere 🙄

We have a mad dog and when a viewing was booked we'd either take him for a twenty min walk or to a friend's house for a cup of tea.

Seriously, try to get the agent to do the viewings if you can. In my experience it's harder to relax as a buyer and really look at a place if the owners are there looking nervous.

As for the photos, really try to declutter. I read somewhere that it needs to look impersonal like a show home. I took down a tonne of family photos and gumph from the kitchen walls. It looked less homely but the photos came out well.

I'd also advise you to hide the dog toys and bed of you can. I also put his food and water in the garage and covered it with a tea towel. It can be off-putting seeing dog evidence everywhere.

I put white bedding on each bed (v cheap from supermarket) and bought some plants.

I also hid toiletries in my wardrobe and put incense in the bathroom.

I thought the decluttering was the hardest part, so you really have my sympathy.

Just put an offer in on a property today and I’m struggling so much with the anxiety.

I had to offer high because there’s already an offer in despite the property market being slightly in decline in my area and the property being slightly overpriced. I’m worried I’ve not offered enough. Then I worry I’ve offered too much or at the wrong time which might trigger a bidding war.

I have a stress headache and haven’t eaten in 24 hours. I can’t cope with just this bit let alone the whole buying process!

You have my sympathy op

sabali did you hear back or are the seller's thinking it over? Really best of luck!

We put our house on the market 8 days ago. We had an offer on day 5 and accepted it. Met the buyers who were v keen and lovely. Then we put an offer in on our dream house Thursday but they needed to think about it. They accepted it yesterday and we had 24 hrs of happiness. Utter joy.

This morning our buyers pulled out because something they'd preferred had just come back on the market.

We're devastated. It's a constant rollercoaster which drops you in shit ponds then lifts you up into the sun momentarily before catapulting you back into shit.

8 days in and I'm developing a serious drink problem.

@Signifyingnothing, I was told by the E.A. that the vendor probably wouldn’t consider any offers until after all scheduled viewings have taken place. I had a further viewing today as well but haven’t heard anything yet. I’ve convinced myself I’ve got no chance despite being in a strong position. Tomorrow is going to be a gruelling day of constant phone checking.

I’m not sure how I’m feeling now. As a FTB, I have been shocked at the strength and rollercoaster nature of my feelings. I suffer anxiety anyway but this is on another level; especially given that I’ve just gone through a divorce in which I self repped! I’m seriously doubting my ability to see this through in one piece!

I’m feeling quite down about it all despite loving the house, I think partly because I’ve barely slept in days. Also because I already feel like I’ve offered too much as it’s definitely overpriced for its size and condition but I want it despite this. Hard to know, head or heart. I’m overthinking everything and no idea whether to up my offer if my initial one is rejected (which I’m fully expecting). I also don’t like their E.A.s - they messed me around with viewings and then the guy who showed me round was a patronising git who made me feel like I was being a massive inconvenience by being there.

I’m sorry your buyers pulled out I’ve been reading posts on the property board and realising just how easily and often things go wrong. Hopefully you’ll line a new buyer up soon and all the stress will have been worthwhile