To not want a family member to baby sit because of dog

[Smoothoperator1]

Sorry lots of dog threads today

My DS is 4 months and I know soon that GP will want to baby sit. Other family members have watched him briefly for me if I have needed to nip to an appointment etc.
I don't trust their dog. I don't actually trust many dogs around DS, despite owning one.

She is getting on a bit and I think has some sort of arthritis. With her age and health, her tether will naturally be getting shorter. She also grumbles when certain family members in the house are interacting with children, despite always being around children since a young age.

Other babies have gone there unsupervised but I am not ok with it. People say that she will grumble but never do anything...that is what everyone says, until a dog snaps. I am a huge dog lover myself but they are still unpredictable animals. I supervise all contact with animals very closely. GP have common sense of course but I just know I will be far too anxious.

DH doesn't think the dog will be a problem but will fight my corner if I'm questioned. I just feel bad for the GPs and do not think they will understand my perspective regarding unsupervised visits. So I guess I am after reassurance that I am being rational - others have said I am not.

Not had a conversation with GPs about it but am getting anxious as it is inevitable. Happy for them to push DS out in his pram or something. Also happy to be bad cop in this whole thing, but it is 100% going to cause upset.

Fwiw she is friendly with people, I am just so uncomfortable with the grumbling if children are playing near the GPs etc. To me it only takes a baby crawling over - which DS will soon be doing - when she feels confined or isn't in the mood, and then it's a problem.

Sorry for rambling!

I think your concerns are completely reasonable, and I have a baby & two dogs! If you don’t trust the dog to be ok with your baby you don’t and that is the end of the discussion. Unless they are willing to lock dog out of the room the whole time your baby is there (which may be unreasonable) then I would not let them babysit unsupervised unless it was at your house without the dog.

Could the grandparents not babysit at yours, if you and DH go out for dinner etc?

I don't think you're unreasonable saying if you feel uncomfortable about the dog, I ask my MIL to put her dogs in the kitchen when our DS plays on the floor. They're lovely dogs but just very rowdy.

100% they would not put the dog in another room so it would need to be at my house or out and about.

Babysitting at mine is made slightly tricky by the fact that my own dog gets a bit hyper around these GPs (they have always played with him and hyped him up, struggle to ignore his pleas for a game of fetch) so I would remain anxious in that sense. He is very placid with everyone else.
So it would need to be during the day when he is at day care. Could still work, just not for dinner dates.

As you can tell, I am a complete worrier.

Listen to your gut feeling. I have a lovely dog but she doesn't like children, when I was growing up we had a dog who didn't like small children and would growl if nearby. They aren't/weren't put in a position to test them. Your baby is more important than hurt feelings if gps would disregard your concerns..

I think you are worrying maybe about nothing but I do understand. Could you talk to your in-laws? Explain that you’re pretty sure the dog would be ok but you’re worried about it grumbling when near other children?

They’d have to be pretty hard faced to ignore you. I think you’d feel better too getting it out in the open.

But at the end of the day if you’re not then the baby doesn’t have to go.

Why do they need to have your 4 month old without you? DS is 8 months and has only been looked after once by my DM because I had to go to a return to work meeting and DH had something important come up at work. If you're on mat leave just tell them you will visit but don't need childcare

Why do they need to have your 4 month old without you?

He has been looked after by other family members while I have nipped to an exercise class now and again or had an appointment. I've also had a meal with DH. No doubt they will expect to have 'their turn' as others have looked after him for me.

Could you talk to your in-laws? Explain that you’re pretty sure the dog would be ok but you’re worried about it grumbling when near other children?

Could do but we will just get told she has been fine with other children and my points regarding the growling and shortening fuse will likely not be heard