How do you decide on big household expenses?

[Lunaballoon]

I’m walking on eggshells at the moment trying to persuade DH that we should invest in double glazing for our draughty old house.

We live in southeast London under a new concentrated flight path to Heathrow airport. The aircraft noise is considerably worse than when we first moved here.

We’ve had some quotes and ok, it’s a huge expense, but frankly I would pay for it myself as the noise and poor state of the windows really bothers me. DH says we could maybe have one bedroom window done, leaving the front of the house with mismatched windows.

It’s the same with any large household expense, he digs his heels in and resists. Our bathroom, for instance, took years to get him to agree it was time for a refurb and even then we had to go with a rock bottom quote, even for London rates.

We’re not short of money, I earn a decent salary and our outgoings are relatively modest so AIBU to want to invest in home improvements? Anyone else in the same boat? Do you have any useful tactics?

We just had a massive storm with driving rain hitting the living room window. An inspection of the rotten bits of window frame might be in order tomorrow, methinks 🤷‍♀️

It may send him over the edge completely, but consider triple glazing, it wasn't much more expensive for us and seems to keep much more noise out.

However from Google that may be a placebo effect... But there's some interesting info here for you

marvin-architectural.co.uk/triple-glazed-windows-soundproof/

I'm with flouncy (as that is also my preferred method) but also have an added dimension of sneakiness which I use sometimes, especially when it comes to decorating, because DP and I can differ sometimes as to what is tasteful and what is not he wants lava lamps in the living room in which case I will present him with options such as picking three tubs of tester paints (one hideous, one far too dark/light and the correct one). Put them all on the wall and umm and ahh over it until he comes and picks the correct one- at which point I ask is he sure, because I quite like hideous/dark. He points out the correct one is the only one that will go with the flooring.

He is of course right, and it was his idea and isnt it lucky I just happened to have picked out matching accessories for that shade already....

Id never get away with shoehorning him into something he absolutely hated, but it works for guidance...

@Bananas I’m very impressed by your cunning powers of persuasion I’ll try that for our next decorating project.

We tend to agree on how much we think should be in our long term savings account.

We then have a medium savings account for holidays and house stuff. So if DH is resisting something I can at least point out that we do have the money to spend.

We have the same ideas about money so I don't need to use any stealth tactics or persuasion.

I couldn't live with someone who needed this level of cajoling into spending money.

Make sure you get the best sound proof windows. There is huge difference in double glazing.

In one house we lived on a very busy main road, the double glazing we had put in, meant all sound of large lorry rattling by, was cut to pretty much zero.

we've also lived in and stayed at friends houses were the double glazing only shut out about 40-50% of outside noise.

@Pullingmysocksup That’s the thing - we do have the money. We have one short holiday a year (not even a week), and as our outgoings are relatively low, we’ve built up a decent amount of savings.

@MoonaaMoobaa Yes, the quote that I want to go with included acoustic glass, which increases the cost obv, but while I know it won’t cut out all noise, I’m expecting a significant improvement.

*We have different approaches to tackling projects in the house.

I’ll decide that something needs to be fixed, replaced or redecorated and just want to get on with it. He’ll put it to the back of his mind until we can’t ignore it any longer.

He’s pretty good at DIY jobs around the house (one of his good points) but if we get anyone in to quote for work, his first response will be “I’m not paying that!” That’s where I feel I have to keep chipping away until he comes on board*

OMG, you're married to my husband!!!

Drives me nuts. In my OH's case (I guess they're not really the same person?????) he is a bit of a worrier about running out of money having lived with very little income for many years. He also cares less about things looking nice and doesn't notice noise or the cold much. I keep telling him how much things bother me until he gets it. Then we can have a sensible conversation about what's affordable and if more expensive quotes are worth the extra. It's exhausting though!

I get quotes, I tell him. He faffs and ponders, forgets, revisits, forgets again, objects, disagrees with style/colour/price by which time I have booked/paid/had the job done. Sometimes he doesn't even notice it has been done despite walking past it every day - like the new front door!